Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Owned: Camille vs. Lisa

Kim: Don't Mistake My Sadness for Weakness

Kyle: I Have Never Had Anyone Put a Hand on Me

Lisa V.: I Tried to Warn Kyle

Eileen: Brandi Attacks, Then Deflects

Lisa R.: Kyle Didn't Create This Drama

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: More Fighting and a Peeping Tom

Kim: Kyle Should Be Worried, Not Embarrassed

Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Kyle: This Was Brandi's Master Plan

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

Lisa V.: Kim's Demeanor Was Questionable

Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Yolanda: I Would Like to Apologize

Brandi: I Won't Make Excuses

Kim: I Wanted to Hold Kyle

Lisa V.: I Want Max to Be Ambitious

Eileen: Being a Stepmom Is Challenging

Lisa R.: Lots of Transition Happening

Kyle: We Are an Emotional Bunch

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Surprise and an F-Bomb

Lisa V.: A Naughty Child Shouldn't Be Rewarded

Kyle: Brandi Was Rude and Offensive

Lisa R.: It Was Shocking and Unprovoked

Kim: Brandi Is Brandi

Eileen: It Felt Like an Attack

7 Faces We All Made During This Week's #RHOBH

Brandi: Lisa V. Was Making Me Uncomfortable

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Shock and Tears

4 Questions We All Asked During #RHOBH

Lisa R.: Portia Is My Spirit Animal

Eileen: Brandi Showed Us How Not to Make Amends

Yolanda: I Took One for the Team

Lisa V.: Yes, Love Is a Big Word

Kyle: Moments Like These Are Frustrating

Lisa V.: I Won't Erase the Past

Brandi: I Don't Enjoy Anger or Grudges

Eileen: I Could Feel the Tension at Kyle's

Lisa R Reflects on That Bittersweet Episode

Yolanda: These Are Teaching Moments

Owned: Camille vs. Lisa

Ep 12: Bravotv.com's Editor ponders pole dancing skills, Babs laundry tips, and the battle over partial ownership.

Hello my favorite pole dancers and part-owners. Let's jump right in because we've got loads to cover.

Pole Position
Finally the time has come for all our ladies to take their turn at the pole. I have to say I could not have been more excited about what delightful dances we were about to see. The women have been really getting their groove on this season (see the tumbles in Ojai), so I had high hopes for their steps here.

Of course Brandi had practiced, so she had a slight advantage. Next up: Kyle and Camille. Knowing that a) Kyle can do the splits at the drop of a hat and b) that Camille once shook it for ClubMTV, I had a feeling this was going to be good. Yet, Camille tried to demure like this was going to be so hard for her. And of course it wasn't. She found her inner sexy as though it was right out in the open. No inner sexys hidden in haystacks here. This episode gets 10 bonus points for Camille dancing. Also Kyle tried to slide down the pole like a fireman, so that deserves a barrel of accolades in and of it self.

Then it was time for our foreign friends to hold an embassy summit on the pole. And Lisa and Yolanda were as splendid as you can imagine.

ATTITUDE.

Also as it turns out, a feather boa works magnificently as a belt. Stripping diplomas for everyone!

Buy a Nose
Back in the car, Kyle receives a phone call from her darling sister. Kim has news, but she's not sure If it's news for the whole car (whole car news is the most revealing news of all). You see she maybe forgot to tell Kyle that she was getting her nose done until today. . .which happens to be the day of her surgery. She's still a little scared about going under the knife. But she knows God doesn't mind a slight improvement if it's for the greater good -- so charging ahead. Plus her doctor is very rested (she checked) so everything is great!

And it goes swimmingly. She's bummed she's sans sister, but surely Kyle will be home to help her recover soon enough.

Meanwhile, also back in Beverly Hills, Adrienne is honing her business skills -- which she points out does not include pole dancing. She's working on her handbag line and also ensuring that Paul's desk and his back are slightly less disheveled. She takes Paul in for some laser hair removal on his back, which truly he takes like a champ. Sure he whines a bit, but it's a laser y'all. If you people heard me when I'm getting my eyebrows threaded you'd think you were mistakenly watching the beginning of Zero Dark Thirty. He'll endure be her own hairless mini-Mauricio in no time.

Ms. Deeds (Or Who Owns What)
All that pole dancing surely worked up an appetite, so next we see the ladies sitting down to a nice dinner (after discussing when Camille sold her private plane and why her arms are so weak). Also of note: Yolanda drinks straight tequila. There's not even a lemon squirted into there, so if you thought this woman was a light weight you are sorely mistaken.

Oh yes, and there's lots of talk of the kind of socks people wear during sex scenes. Oh, and garment cleaning trips from Barbara Streisand (white wine + red wine = cleanliness).

Of course, it wouldn't be a dinner with the Beverly Hills gang without some hot button topics coming up. First off is Kim's surgery. Everyone is a bit worried because it's a little soon in her recovery for Kim to be on pain medication. Brandi's friend Jennifer is there, and is worried all of this could awaken the beast.

But how do you transition out of such a touchy subject? If you're Camille, you bring up how you feel bad about Adrienne. . .and that doesn't go over splendidly. Surprisingly, Yolanda is very vocal about Adrienne's choice to stay home, and then things get into the reunion from Season 2. Brandi says that Adrienne wanted to meet before the reunion to discuss how they were going to "go after" Lisa (a point that Camille denies knowing). After lots of back and forth about if Camille is lying or if Brandi is lying about what she knew, Camille tries to leave dinner. Kyle, who this season seems to be designated to do as much, tries to get Camille to stay.

When she comes back in, Camille brings up Pandora's bachelorette party and the snub that was Lisa's choice of hotel. This leads Brandi to drop that it's not like Adrienne owns the whole Palms anyway –- which leads Camille to ask how much of SUR is really Lisa’s.

But really, Yolanda just wants to know why they’ve wasted three dinners talking about Adrienne and having Kyle defend her. She just wants everyone to shush so she can get on her private plane and get back to David. Camille just doesn't want to get put on the spot. And Brandi, well I'm sure she just wanted to have an incident free dinner. Also, at the end of the day, these women own more than any of us, so what's really the matter?

In better news, Ken makes Giggy "Giggy-tinis" while Lisa is out of town.

Just Breathe
Now that Kyle is back in the Hills, she can rush to Kim's bedside. Kim's not alone of course. She has her giant dog Kingsley to keep her company. And Kim's new nose is adorable (at least it looks to be from the way the bandages are shaped). And Kim's trying to not take any pain medication. Her doctor even said that he knocked her out with a child's size portion of medication. She's enduring this whole ordeal with an electronic cigarette and a dream. Allison DuBois would be so proud.

However, Kyle's visit wasn't all nose talk. She relayed the events of Vegas back to Kim. Meanwhile Lisa told Ken her side of the story. And the two ladies seem supremely divided. Kyle's leaving matters to Lisa, and hearing how disappointed Lisa feels with Kyle's actions, I don't predict great things. . .Perhaps a sit down at SUR is in order?

What do you think? Will Kyle and Lisa make amends? Can they drink enough "Giggy-tinis" to remember the good times. Did Adrienne really not sue Brandi? Well we’ll have to wait until next week to find out about that last part.

Lisa R.: Kyle Didn't Create This Drama

Lisa R. thinks there are two ladies who aren't taking responsibility for their actions.

I have to start the week off by giving a shout out to all of you. During last week’s episode and throughout the week, your tweets have been pouring in, and you guys really make me laugh. Yes, as a matter of fact I DID want to dive-roll head first out of that car ride with Kim onto the freeway and run. Run Forrest, run! All of your support and understanding means everything!

So, we pick up right where we left off, but before we do, I’d like to note that Kyle wasn’t the one to create any of this drama. It was Kim that chose to walk back in the house after Brandi had escorted her outside and told her NOT to go back in. There was a lot of alcohol and God knows what other drugs influencing a lot of the behaviors, so no matter what, the outcome wasn’t going to be a good one. Like a Dr. Phil quote I used on Twitter last week, “When you choose the behavior, you choose the consequence.” While I have compassion and empathy for these women and what I see playing out in front of me, there seems to be a lot of blame that both Kim and Brandi are trying to place on Kyle, and in my opinion they aren’t accepting the consequences from their behavior.

Now that some time has passed and I have really had some time to digest the situation, I myself have some questions just like all of you. Why did Kim go to Eileen’s poker night if she was sick with pneumonia and bronchitis? I don’t doubt that major illnesses like these made her feel terrible. So, then why go in the first place and then exacerbate these illnesses by smoking cigars all evening? I’m quite certain that had I been as ill as she was, I would have been in my bed pickling myself in oil of oregano and overdosing on vitamin C and echinacea. But again, as I didn’t know where she was in her sobriety, I also didn’t know where she was in her illnesses.

To me, there seems to be a lot of pain being masked by alcohol.

Lisa Rinna

As far as Brandi goes, my comments are coming from a place of experience and concern. I’ve been, like I know many many of you have also, a part of lives that have been affected by addiction. And to echo Yolanda’s sentiments, I have a hard time wrapping my brain around the idea of grown women, mothers in particular,
behaving this way. To me, there seems to be a lot of pain being masked by alcohol. Granted, I don’t know what goes on in Brandi’s life outside of this. I only know what I observe in this environment.

I’m just so happy that the darn Stella & Dot party was successful. Hallelujah! Holly Robinson Peete had done a similar party that had an amazing turnout, and I was beyond thrilled to host my own. The Noreen Fraser Foundation’s mission, "to find a way to live with cancer and not die from it" is very close to my heart. Both my mother and sister are recent breast cancer survivors with double masectomies, so it was very important to me that the party be a successful one. It meant so much to me that everyone, with the exception of Kim being in the hospital, showed up despite what had recently gone down. By the grace of God, everyone kept their composure, bought a ton of jewelry, and appeared to have a good time. Big thanks to Stella & Dot for helping to raise so much money and to Gourmet 47 and Hourie for catering the amazing food.

Giant kudos to Eileen for speaking her mind with Brandi at my house. She always knows how to remain classy and sophisticated even in the most uncomfortable of situations. I admire her deeply for that.

Lisa V.’s impeccable brood continues to grow as we see her add Pumpy to the family. What a gorgeous and incredibly lucky dog she is to take on the Vanderpump name. If only she truly knew what a lucky bitch she is!

Next week is the Gay Mixer and yes, I finally understand that I shouldn’t come naked. Again, I ask my dear gay friends forgiveness for not understanding what Kyle meant. Sometimes it just takes me a minute to catch these innuendos. Oy. Be sure to keep your seatbelts safely fastened as we are still experiencing turbulence!

Until next week….

Xo, LR

 

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