Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Party Lines - Ep 1

Bravotv.com's Editor ponders the guest list of Lisa's party, Portia's birthday, and of Kim's prom date's camper.

Hello my favorite 90210 lovers. It’s here. We’re back to our favorite zipcode. I hope you have enough diamonds, rose, and money (though know that only gives you more money) on hand to enjoy this season. Let’s recap the premiere shall we!

Trading Spaces
We open at Lisa’s new home, which is ridiculous. I can’t find enough words to talk about how phenomenal this house is. Every window looks out onto the most gorgeous views and Bob Ross happy trees I’ve ever seen. Everything is light and bright and amazing. And even more wonderful is she’s using the house as her hangout pad for she and her new BFF Brandi. And Brandi knows that all good housewarming visits start out with a nice gift -- like a bedroom version of slip and slide for Ken to use. The question is what did she bring Giggy? Hopefully a blindfold, lest he see his parents getting to familiar and get scared for life.

But it wasn’t just a tequila gun drop-off visit, Lisa and Brandi also discuss her upcoming party at Villa Blanca. It’s going to be a great chance to get everyone together, except for Adrienne. Lisa’s still upset about some of the accusations A threw at her during the reunion and so she neglected to invite her. As Brandi mentions, this surely won’t go unnoticed.

And it doesn’t. Over lunch with Paul, Adrienne gets a call from Taylor who drops that Lisa’s having a shindig coming up. Adrienne’s not interested in holding a grudge and she thinks the whole thing is a bit petty. While shopping the gals discuss the situation further, Adrienne thinks it’s a little mean girl of Lisa to not invite her, especially since she thought they were past all that.

Meanwhile in other gifts news, Mauricio continues to be the most perfect man in the world by dropping off a Maserati for Kyle in the front yard. Just another day in Beverly Hills. The last car-like thing my boyfriend got me was a magazine featuring a couple of ads for nice sedans.

Yo Yolanda
OK, let’s start talking about Yolanda. Anyone who starts her tenure on Housewives picking lemons casually in their own backyard wins me over immediately. Plus if Lisa Vanderpump calls you a force to be reckoned with, you couldn’t be a slouch. I also appreciate her commandment of love notes. Listen to the woman or she’ll toss that lemon basket right at your head David.

I’ve Got a Boot, and I Can Hear
Oh sweet precious Kim Richards. Welcome back. Welcome back into our lives. Welcome back from rehab. I believe I speak for everyone when I say, we are so happy to see you and can’t get enough of you. Who cares if you don’t know what a boutineer is? You know the way into my heart and that’s all that matters! And now I know that you got your first kiss at the prom -- and that you avoided sultry times in the camper.

Party Lines
As Brandi and Lisa continue to discuss the party (and as Kim and Kyle talk prom promises of celibacy) we get a better handle on how things have been since last season. Basically everyone is still testy with each other. Brandi’s nervous to see Taylor and Kim. Kim’s still struggling to forgive Kyle. Brandi’s dogs don’t love Giggy. Will all be resolved at Villa Blanca?

Before that Kyle and Portia are trying to set the guest list for Portia’s birthday. Portia gives Lisa a ring and, surprise, Brandi’s there too. Lisa thinks this is a great chance to mend some bridges, which probably not a bad idea. Let’s build a whole bunch of bridges y’all.

Hot Drinks
And finally it’s time for the big event. Surrounded by angels and dry ice drinks, Lisa celebrates all things Villa Blanca. Kim arrives! She’s at a party on time! The ‘Wives all start to meet and mingle. Brandi immediately offends Yolanda with a joke about the narrow pool of lovers in the 90210. Then Kim slightly snubs Brandi in favor of Yolanda. Kim refuses to commit to Portia's party. Typical Bev Hills party -- lots of drama.

After the gals discuss their horoscopes and Brandi's sexual conquests, a gift arrives. An arrangement, neigh, a living thing. A large peace offering in the from of a sapling from Ms. Maloof. Is it an olive branch? Or was it meant to be a bit more cunning and cruel? We'll have to wait for the rest of the season to play out to see.

Well, what was your favorite moment RHOBH fans? Was it Kim telling us tales of love? Yolanda's lemon basket? Ken threatening us with a tequila gun? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Brandi: You Can't Confirm What Didn't Happen

Brandi questions some of the ladies' motives, plus gives an interesting update on her relationship with LeAnn. 

Hey, My Bravoistas!

I’m in my American Airlines' seat 36 hours later, flying back home from NYC, thankful to be on a safe path home. My prayers go out to the families and loved ones of the downed German airliner in the French Alps this morning. I cannot imagine the pain being experienced by these families at this moment, which shockingly has led me to add a new person into my flight prayer today...my children’s stepmom. Don’t get me wrong--not everything is yet copasetic, but my children love her, so she is now in the “flight prayer,” differences aside. Now on a happier RHOBH note, last night’s WWHL with Andy was sooooo fun! No drama for once!

NEWS FLASH! Please watch for my new Sonoma County Chardonnay “Unfiltered Blonde,” to launch in April!

As I look over this past season, all I can say is it’s been an odd one. There were so many fun moments that got lost in the drama and so many weeks of fun you never saw at all. I wish you had, but I'm not in control of everything we get to see. I’d like to remember having fun with Kim “stalking” my now boyfriend J.R. That was such a crazy fun girls' night, Lisa R. being chased by killer bees, Yolanda and her Facetime confusion and meeting her family for the second time this--time in Holland, the Foster Foundation Extravaganza, “singing” at Lisa V.’s birthday party, and Kyle pretending to be a caring sister and owning yachts and planes…haha.
Ok, I’ll behave.

Here we are at the last episode of the season, yet, it seems most are still stuck in the beginning. I wish we weren’t, and I would dearly like to leave “Poker Night” behind. However, one person continues to make it the focal point of every interaction from when it happened and far into the three-part reunion.

This episode opens with Rinna tearing down a swing set, but her home interviews are still about what she perceives as Kim’s issues to be, not the actual touching moment of what the swing set tear-down symbolizes or her own family (I can't wait for her daughters to write their Brooke Shields-style memoir when they are age appropriate). LR says she feels sorry for Kim and cares about Kim and wishes Kim well. The truth is a lot less pretty. Some people have been attacking Kim’s sobriety online this week, but we won’t name names. BTW, Kim is sober and not online. She is busy caring for serious ill family members and driving back and forth to doctors and hospitals and being strong for her family.

Next we see Nicky Hilton’s book signing--sister Paris and mom Kathy Hilton are there. Looks like a great party and congrats to Nicky on her style book. Camille looks gorgeous as usual. Kyle angrily flips her hair, because Kim was wearing a shirt that she carries at “her” shop, but didn’t buy it there...whatever. Then Kyle whispers about her sister Kim to Lisa V. and Camille.
Kyle then tells them she is confused and impatient that Kim hasn’t confronted me over her third-hand Lisa R. gossip. She states Kim WILL be hurt and broken hearted over what “I” said… Kyle seems way too overy excited about that happening, which I find kind creepy. Why would anyone WANT their sister to be hurt or in pain?!

The preparations for Adrienne’s party are in full swing next. Lisa V. is fretting it, Kim is casually discussing the intervention GOSSIP with her makeup artist before the party, I’m getting ready and waiting for my friends and my date.

Adrienne’s party is the big finale of our journey this year. Everyone is there, and Adrienne always excels at events. So here we go. First off, my mind was not on the party at all. My father was recently hospitalized, and I didn’t leave his side for two weeks. It was very serious, but I had to return home to my boys. He was still not conscious, but I needed to get home to run my household--a party was the last place I wanted to be, but I had promised. That’s why I decided to bring the few people that I felt I could depend on in that moment. My friends and J.R. have been there for me during my father’s health scare and over more then a month of hospitalization--that was and is what remains what’s important to me.

The party seems like it was fun for a lot of people who weren’t involved in Kyle and Lisa. R.’s drama. I wish I were one of them, but in a way I was. As much as Kyle relished telling Kim the hurtful gossip she heard from LR, what she wanted to happen didn’t happen. There was no argument between Kim and I. We were happy to see each other. We spoke easily. I was busy worrying about my Dad; she was busy with her family.

What we saw on the finale was an efficient Kim quietly confronting Lisa R., then leaving Lisa R.'s table somewhat amused. Lisa R. couldn’t confirm the veracity of her gossip, because I DIDN’T SAY IT. Thanks again to Bravo for showing the truth in a flashback last week.

So, Kim knew who was who and what was what. The entertainment of the night was provided by Lisa R. going radio silent while Kyle begged for corroboration on her dramatic intervention gossip. Watching Yolanda, Eileen, and Lisa V. urge Lisa R. to support Kyle and verify her hurtful gossip was almost amusing. You can't confirm what didn't happen, can you?

In the end, I left the party early. Why? Not because of a past friendship with Lisa V. It's not her that made me cry--I was crying for my father, my dad! I was in no place to be at a superficial party, discussing a superficial incident with a person who was clearly not a friend, not that night. I said I would show up, and I did. After that, I wanted to be with my real close friends and family. Since this party my dad came out of the ICU and after 2 entire months and after a long stressful time I want to thank Dr. Allen Morris and all the doctors and nurses at Mercy General Hospital of Sacramento for saving my dad's life yet agin for the second time in 15 years. He is doing much better and continuing his hope of a full recovery. I am so thankful to all the people who were there for me and continue to be here for my family and I.

THAT is what life’s about, being with the people who truly love and care about you and the feelings are reciprocated.

As you hear, at the end of the finale, I am wistful, yet, wiser, and I think in a stronger place. I love and loved being there for Kim and being Kim’s friend, and I love that she was, is, and has been here for me. Even more so, I'm grateful and blessed to have Yolanda in my life; she is no bullsh--. Even when suffering herself, she is still so selfless. Yo is very special to me, I love her, she gets me, we have fun together, and I value every moment we spend together. I always will. As for the rest, I hope to share laughs and fun again, maybe tears, but hopefully only joy.

Peace Out. (deuces MFs--JK)

XOXO,

B

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