Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Party Lines - Ep 1

Bravotv.com's Editor ponders the guest list of Lisa's party, Portia's birthday, and of Kim's prom date's camper.

Hello my favorite 90210 lovers. It’s here. We’re back to our favorite zipcode. I hope you have enough diamonds, rose, and money (though know that only gives you more money) on hand to enjoy this season. Let’s recap the premiere shall we!

Trading Spaces
We open at Lisa’s new home, which is ridiculous. I can’t find enough words to talk about how phenomenal this house is. Every window looks out onto the most gorgeous views and Bob Ross happy trees I’ve ever seen. Everything is light and bright and amazing. And even more wonderful is she’s using the house as her hangout pad for she and her new BFF Brandi. And Brandi knows that all good housewarming visits start out with a nice gift -- like a bedroom version of slip and slide for Ken to use. The question is what did she bring Giggy? Hopefully a blindfold, lest he see his parents getting to familiar and get scared for life.

But it wasn’t just a tequila gun drop-off visit, Lisa and Brandi also discuss her upcoming party at Villa Blanca. It’s going to be a great chance to get everyone together, except for Adrienne. Lisa’s still upset about some of the accusations A threw at her during the reunion and so she neglected to invite her. As Brandi mentions, this surely won’t go unnoticed.

And it doesn’t. Over lunch with Paul, Adrienne gets a call from Taylor who drops that Lisa’s having a shindig coming up. Adrienne’s not interested in holding a grudge and she thinks the whole thing is a bit petty. While shopping the gals discuss the situation further, Adrienne thinks it’s a little mean girl of Lisa to not invite her, especially since she thought they were past all that.

Meanwhile in other gifts news, Mauricio continues to be the most perfect man in the world by dropping off a Maserati for Kyle in the front yard. Just another day in Beverly Hills. The last car-like thing my boyfriend got me was a magazine featuring a couple of ads for nice sedans.

Yo Yolanda
OK, let’s start talking about Yolanda. Anyone who starts her tenure on Housewives picking lemons casually in their own backyard wins me over immediately. Plus if Lisa Vanderpump calls you a force to be reckoned with, you couldn’t be a slouch. I also appreciate her commandment of love notes. Listen to the woman or she’ll toss that lemon basket right at your head David.

I’ve Got a Boot, and I Can Hear
Oh sweet precious Kim Richards. Welcome back. Welcome back into our lives. Welcome back from rehab. I believe I speak for everyone when I say, we are so happy to see you and can’t get enough of you. Who cares if you don’t know what a boutineer is? You know the way into my heart and that’s all that matters! And now I know that you got your first kiss at the prom -- and that you avoided sultry times in the camper.

Party Lines
As Brandi and Lisa continue to discuss the party (and as Kim and Kyle talk prom promises of celibacy) we get a better handle on how things have been since last season. Basically everyone is still testy with each other. Brandi’s nervous to see Taylor and Kim. Kim’s still struggling to forgive Kyle. Brandi’s dogs don’t love Giggy. Will all be resolved at Villa Blanca?

Before that Kyle and Portia are trying to set the guest list for Portia’s birthday. Portia gives Lisa a ring and, surprise, Brandi’s there too. Lisa thinks this is a great chance to mend some bridges, which probably not a bad idea. Let’s build a whole bunch of bridges y’all.

Hot Drinks
And finally it’s time for the big event. Surrounded by angels and dry ice drinks, Lisa celebrates all things Villa Blanca. Kim arrives! She’s at a party on time! The ‘Wives all start to meet and mingle. Brandi immediately offends Yolanda with a joke about the narrow pool of lovers in the 90210. Then Kim slightly snubs Brandi in favor of Yolanda. Kim refuses to commit to Portia's party. Typical Bev Hills party -- lots of drama.

After the gals discuss their horoscopes and Brandi's sexual conquests, a gift arrives. An arrangement, neigh, a living thing. A large peace offering in the from of a sapling from Ms. Maloof. Is it an olive branch? Or was it meant to be a bit more cunning and cruel? We'll have to wait for the rest of the season to play out to see.

Well, what was your favorite moment RHOBH fans? Was it Kim telling us tales of love? Yolanda's lemon basket? Ken threatening us with a tequila gun? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

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Brandi: I'm Always Here For You, Kim

Brandi focuses on the positive this week as this season's RHOBH comes to an end.

Hey Bravo Fans,

Today was a fabulous day--t was my baby Jake’s birthday. We got his favorite Oreo ice cream cake, and for our family celebration, it was perfection. I can’t believe he’s already eight. I had to hold back my tears when I realized I will never again use that number eight candle. #mommymoment

It has been a really exciting week for me. My Sonoma County chardonnay, Unfiltered Blonde, launched for pre-sales this week, and despite it being tax season, the first day alone was a huge success. Thank you! The website is up now at www.unfilteredblonde.com. The creation of the wine was an incredibly long and careful process, and I couldn’t be happier or more proud of my finished product. I’m sure you're all as excited as me that this week was the FINALE episode of BATSH-- crazy RHOBH reunion. 

I could talk about the she said, she said, she said… but let’s not and pretend we did. It’s been a long season, kind of centering on one night that really isn’t worth the attention it was given. I’m tired of it, it happened several months ago, I’m sure you’re tired of it. You know why? Because it’s old news and in the PAST! 

Eileen, your house is lovely. Sorry I said otherwise for the sake of a laugh. I really like Vincent, he is super cool, your little boy is adorable, you seem like a good stepmom, and I wish you and your family the very best.

Lisa R., I really loved you on my podcast. You made me laugh and rolled with punches. I really enjoyed our interview, and I enjoyed most of the season with you. I think that’s what I’m going to take away and forget about the rest. I think sometimes you make it harder on yourself with your Twitter feed, but I’m choosing not to engage. I really liked a side of you, and you seem to have a beautiful family.

Lisa V., I had a lot of fun with you and Ken. I will always have a special place in my heart for you guys. I wish Ken the best of health and a speedy recovery. 

Kyle, best wishes on you and your family’s endeavors. My sincerest wish is that you and Kim could be as close as you ever were in the near future.

You are a strong chica and I know your family is better for it. 

Brandi Glanville

Kim, love having you as a BFF. I’m always here for you, and I hope you are always here for me. You are a strong chica, and I know your family is better for it. You are hilarious, and I love our funny talks and text-offs. Laughter is the best medicine. I heart you.

Yo, my dear, dear Yo, I will see you soon. I love you, you are so strong and so brave! I know you are going to kick Lyme disease’s ass! Anything you need, just emoji me.

I want to thank all my supporters for always being there for me regarding all of my other endeavors, including my books, podcast, Celebrity Apprentice, app, my t-shirts, and finally my WINE and for allowing me to be me.

Ok guys, this is the big week. This is the Make*A*Wish Los Angeles Walk for Wishes Walkathon. Me and the boys pledged to try to raise $15,000--I have $12,625 so far. We need $2,375 by Friday at midnight, every dollar counts. Thank you!

I heart you all!

Xoxo

B

P.S.  Here’s my Make*A*Wish YouTube video that I made in my kitchen. youtu.be/DTKMTDs6-R4 

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