Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Party Lines - Ep 1

Bravotv.com's Editor ponders the guest list of Lisa's party, Portia's birthday, and of Kim's prom date's camper.

Hello my favorite 90210 lovers. It’s here. We’re back to our favorite zipcode. I hope you have enough diamonds, rose, and money (though know that only gives you more money) on hand to enjoy this season. Let’s recap the premiere shall we!

Trading Spaces
We open at Lisa’s new home, which is ridiculous. I can’t find enough words to talk about how phenomenal this house is. Every window looks out onto the most gorgeous views and Bob Ross happy trees I’ve ever seen. Everything is light and bright and amazing. And even more wonderful is she’s using the house as her hangout pad for she and her new BFF Brandi. And Brandi knows that all good housewarming visits start out with a nice gift -- like a bedroom version of slip and slide for Ken to use. The question is what did she bring Giggy? Hopefully a blindfold, lest he see his parents getting to familiar and get scared for life.

But it wasn’t just a tequila gun drop-off visit, Lisa and Brandi also discuss her upcoming party at Villa Blanca. It’s going to be a great chance to get everyone together, except for Adrienne. Lisa’s still upset about some of the accusations A threw at her during the reunion and so she neglected to invite her. As Brandi mentions, this surely won’t go unnoticed.

And it doesn’t. Over lunch with Paul, Adrienne gets a call from Taylor who drops that Lisa’s having a shindig coming up. Adrienne’s not interested in holding a grudge and she thinks the whole thing is a bit petty. While shopping the gals discuss the situation further, Adrienne thinks it’s a little mean girl of Lisa to not invite her, especially since she thought they were past all that.

Meanwhile in other gifts news, Mauricio continues to be the most perfect man in the world by dropping off a Maserati for Kyle in the front yard. Just another day in Beverly Hills. The last car-like thing my boyfriend got me was a magazine featuring a couple of ads for nice sedans.

Yo Yolanda
OK, let’s start talking about Yolanda. Anyone who starts her tenure on Housewives picking lemons casually in their own backyard wins me over immediately. Plus if Lisa Vanderpump calls you a force to be reckoned with, you couldn’t be a slouch. I also appreciate her commandment of love notes. Listen to the woman or she’ll toss that lemon basket right at your head David.

I’ve Got a Boot, and I Can Hear
Oh sweet precious Kim Richards. Welcome back. Welcome back into our lives. Welcome back from rehab. I believe I speak for everyone when I say, we are so happy to see you and can’t get enough of you. Who cares if you don’t know what a boutineer is? You know the way into my heart and that’s all that matters! And now I know that you got your first kiss at the prom -- and that you avoided sultry times in the camper.

Party Lines
As Brandi and Lisa continue to discuss the party (and as Kim and Kyle talk prom promises of celibacy) we get a better handle on how things have been since last season. Basically everyone is still testy with each other. Brandi’s nervous to see Taylor and Kim. Kim’s still struggling to forgive Kyle. Brandi’s dogs don’t love Giggy. Will all be resolved at Villa Blanca?

Before that Kyle and Portia are trying to set the guest list for Portia’s birthday. Portia gives Lisa a ring and, surprise, Brandi’s there too. Lisa thinks this is a great chance to mend some bridges, which probably not a bad idea. Let’s build a whole bunch of bridges y’all.

Hot Drinks
And finally it’s time for the big event. Surrounded by angels and dry ice drinks, Lisa celebrates all things Villa Blanca. Kim arrives! She’s at a party on time! The ‘Wives all start to meet and mingle. Brandi immediately offends Yolanda with a joke about the narrow pool of lovers in the 90210. Then Kim slightly snubs Brandi in favor of Yolanda. Kim refuses to commit to Portia's party. Typical Bev Hills party -- lots of drama.

After the gals discuss their horoscopes and Brandi's sexual conquests, a gift arrives. An arrangement, neigh, a living thing. A large peace offering in the from of a sapling from Ms. Maloof. Is it an olive branch? Or was it meant to be a bit more cunning and cruel? We'll have to wait for the rest of the season to play out to see.

Well, what was your favorite moment RHOBH fans? Was it Kim telling us tales of love? Yolanda's lemon basket? Ken threatening us with a tequila gun? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Eileen: Trouble Is Brewing

Eileen discusses Adrienne's party and gives us an idea for a new drinking game.

This week, we’re all back home and the dust is settling. Sort of.

It broke my heart seeing Lisa R., Harry, and their girls take down their swing set! When we did the same with Jesse we felt that way. It’s such a powerful symbol of growing up and I think it’s so sweet that they celebrated the new chapter in their lives in that way.

I’m excited to go to Adrienne’s party! I wanted to have fun and enjoy a night out with my husband and friends. The party is beautiful, and Adrienne is a fantastic hostess. I was hoping to get to know her better but that was not to be. Trouble is brewing. Like I said in last week’s blog, maybe Lisa R. shouldn’t have approached Kyle about what Brandi said so soon after Amsterdam. But then again, we’ve already seen the worst, right? In Amsterdam? I hope?

Sure enough Kim confronts Lisa R. about what Brandi said during their lunch. Lisa is reticent, and understandably so, to discuss this. She’s dodging the issue, but maybe just saying what she said to Kyle would help everybody stop playing these games! Lisa R. being vague is not helping the situation and Kim leaves, apparently thinking that Kyle lied about it. Yolanda, Lisa V., Kyle, and I try to make Lisa understand she has to tell Kim what Brandi said. She gets it, and God bless her, she does go to talk to Kim. And when she does? Kim is dismissive and doesn’t want to hear it! OMG! Well, this is the definition of a lose/lose situation for everybody! Now, I’m just exhausted from even witnessing this. No one is listening or being honest, and it will never get resolved at this rate.

I think Brandi is having a bit of a memory problem about what was discussed.

Eileen Davidson

Brandi is clearly distraught about her father’s health. Now is not the time to have emotionally charged conversations with anybody. I see Lisa V. trying to help, but the drama is so high right now, it doesn’t seem to be calming anything down. Brandi keeps insisting she’s fine, when clearly she’s not. Maybe she shouldn’t have come to this party, at all, under the circumstances?

Kim and Brandi finally sit down. Kim tells Brandi what Kyle said Lisa R. said. I think Brandi is having a bit of a memory problem about what was discussed. The bottom line is if she had told Kim everything that she said to Lisa R. during their lunch, that major blow-up probably never would have happened in Amsterdam. And Kim? Well, she doesn’t seem to want to do any digging at all into what Brandi really, entirely said and just gives her a big fat pass. Now, Lisa R. is apologizing AGAIN. WHY, people, WHY? I propose a Real Housewives Drinking Game: take a shot every time Lisa R. unnecessarily apologizes to Brandi and Kim (and you better have a designated driver, because you’ll be really, really drunk).

It’s the end of the night and the end of this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. What a journey it has been. I’ve made some good friends, had lots of adventures, lots of laughs, and, frankly, witnessed way too many fights. It surely has been one hell of a ride! And one I will not soon forget.

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