Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Party Lines - Ep 1

Bravotv.com's Editor ponders the guest list of Lisa's party, Portia's birthday, and of Kim's prom date's camper.

Hello my favorite 90210 lovers. It’s here. We’re back to our favorite zipcode. I hope you have enough diamonds, rose, and money (though know that only gives you more money) on hand to enjoy this season. Let’s recap the premiere shall we!

Trading Spaces
We open at Lisa’s new home, which is ridiculous. I can’t find enough words to talk about how phenomenal this house is. Every window looks out onto the most gorgeous views and Bob Ross happy trees I’ve ever seen. Everything is light and bright and amazing. And even more wonderful is she’s using the house as her hangout pad for she and her new BFF Brandi. And Brandi knows that all good housewarming visits start out with a nice gift -- like a bedroom version of slip and slide for Ken to use. The question is what did she bring Giggy? Hopefully a blindfold, lest he see his parents getting to familiar and get scared for life.

But it wasn’t just a tequila gun drop-off visit, Lisa and Brandi also discuss her upcoming party at Villa Blanca. It’s going to be a great chance to get everyone together, except for Adrienne. Lisa’s still upset about some of the accusations A threw at her during the reunion and so she neglected to invite her. As Brandi mentions, this surely won’t go unnoticed.

And it doesn’t. Over lunch with Paul, Adrienne gets a call from Taylor who drops that Lisa’s having a shindig coming up. Adrienne’s not interested in holding a grudge and she thinks the whole thing is a bit petty. While shopping the gals discuss the situation further, Adrienne thinks it’s a little mean girl of Lisa to not invite her, especially since she thought they were past all that.

Meanwhile in other gifts news, Mauricio continues to be the most perfect man in the world by dropping off a Maserati for Kyle in the front yard. Just another day in Beverly Hills. The last car-like thing my boyfriend got me was a magazine featuring a couple of ads for nice sedans.

Yo Yolanda
OK, let’s start talking about Yolanda. Anyone who starts her tenure on Housewives picking lemons casually in their own backyard wins me over immediately. Plus if Lisa Vanderpump calls you a force to be reckoned with, you couldn’t be a slouch. I also appreciate her commandment of love notes. Listen to the woman or she’ll toss that lemon basket right at your head David.

I’ve Got a Boot, and I Can Hear
Oh sweet precious Kim Richards. Welcome back. Welcome back into our lives. Welcome back from rehab. I believe I speak for everyone when I say, we are so happy to see you and can’t get enough of you. Who cares if you don’t know what a boutineer is? You know the way into my heart and that’s all that matters! And now I know that you got your first kiss at the prom -- and that you avoided sultry times in the camper.

Party Lines
As Brandi and Lisa continue to discuss the party (and as Kim and Kyle talk prom promises of celibacy) we get a better handle on how things have been since last season. Basically everyone is still testy with each other. Brandi’s nervous to see Taylor and Kim. Kim’s still struggling to forgive Kyle. Brandi’s dogs don’t love Giggy. Will all be resolved at Villa Blanca?

Before that Kyle and Portia are trying to set the guest list for Portia’s birthday. Portia gives Lisa a ring and, surprise, Brandi’s there too. Lisa thinks this is a great chance to mend some bridges, which probably not a bad idea. Let’s build a whole bunch of bridges y’all.

Hot Drinks
And finally it’s time for the big event. Surrounded by angels and dry ice drinks, Lisa celebrates all things Villa Blanca. Kim arrives! She’s at a party on time! The ‘Wives all start to meet and mingle. Brandi immediately offends Yolanda with a joke about the narrow pool of lovers in the 90210. Then Kim slightly snubs Brandi in favor of Yolanda. Kim refuses to commit to Portia's party. Typical Bev Hills party -- lots of drama.

After the gals discuss their horoscopes and Brandi's sexual conquests, a gift arrives. An arrangement, neigh, a living thing. A large peace offering in the from of a sapling from Ms. Maloof. Is it an olive branch? Or was it meant to be a bit more cunning and cruel? We'll have to wait for the rest of the season to play out to see.

Well, what was your favorite moment RHOBH fans? Was it Kim telling us tales of love? Yolanda's lemon basket? Ken threatening us with a tequila gun? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Lisa V.: How Many Scenarios Can We Excuse?

Lisa Vanderpump tries to make sense of what happened at the reunion and gives us an update on her life since. 

And here we have it...the final episode as the curtain drops on Season 5, the last part of this intriguing trilogy...

Firstly, it is almost too complicated to dissect, but let's try to have a better understanding of the complicated dynamic that materialized this season...

I think upon reflection, it has been pretty obvious after months of filming the intent of some to insert themselves into an already fractious situation. Kim obviously felt bolstered by BG, much to her detriment, as she became a victim of her own volatility. I doubt since filming has wrapped whether there has been much interaction between BG and Kim. It would surprise me greatly if this supposedly close relationship is still flourishing.

What concerned me this season was the manipulative attempt by BG to undermine Kyle and to validate any negativity that Kim was feeling.

Lisa Vanderpump

There's not a lot to say that hasn't been said, really, but what concerned me this season was the manipulative attempt by BG to undermine Kyle and to validate any negativity that Kim was feeling, salaciously stating what a wonderful friend she was and how totally unsupportive Kyle has been. I don't believe the years of dealing with a sibling struggling with alcoholism, supporting financially when needed, should be ignored--also the emotional toll it must have taken on the family. This is a family that has many offsprings who love each other dearly, and that should be paramount. BG has no idea of any history, just a few short months under the glare of reality television.

Also in this final segment, it baffles me once again as to the arrogance as to state what is off limits. How many scenarios can we excuse? Dogs? Children? House? Sobriety? Our business became your business when we entered into your living room. We should strive for transparency, and we should deal with consequences as we profit from the benefits.

I have grown close to Lisa and Eileen and enjoyed them immensely, not always understanding Lisa's actions, but always believing it came from a place of concern, even if sometimes, like in regard to the text she sent, it was a little impulsive. Her anger got the better of her, and for that, I believe she was sorry. I am not making excuses for her, but I am resolute in the belief that provocation sometimes creates a day of reckoning.

My suggestion of putting a band aid on a situation is one of experience. Sometimes we reach for the unreachable, especially when it comes to relationships. Furthermore, we have to accept that idyllic relationships are not always obtainable, but what we should not accept is that the whole family infrastructure, which can be so delicate, would possibly be fractured--weddings missed, birthdays ignored, and all of life's moments punctuated, documented with regret.

So that is what I hope for this season, that the devious trifling is never rewarded by the success in the breakdown of any relationship. Last year, as I sat on my own, aghast at what had transpired, I hoped for a clearer picture, and now I have one, as I think you all do.

Snippets of downtime that have been aired this reunion--cups of tea requests, diarrhea jokes, pussy to the bathroom jokes, didn't know a Flex but definitely knew a Ford--are a great way of also demonstrating that there are giggles in the face of adversity.

Lastly, I would like to say a huge thank you to all of you, who have sent messages of love and well wishes in what has proved to be a trying week. The surgery has been a reminder of how sometimes the indomitable support of those close to you is so valuable, and I appreciate it tremendously. My children by my side, friends, and family are the icing on the cake. Thank you to you all. Ken is doing much better and is well on the way to full recovery.

I have appreciated your comments and enjoyed interacting with you.

Much love as always, 

Lisa

Read more about: