Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Pissed In Heels - Ep 2

Portia's birthday wish must not have been for Adrienne and Lisa or Brandi and Taylor to get along.

Hello my little well-heeled friends. Another beautiful day in Beverly Hills another reason for a party with llamas. Let's address this episode.

Present Tense
We open with Kyle and Adrienne shopping for the perfect present for Portia. But besides just wondering if she can fit into toddler's clothes, Adrienne is wondering how she can get things sorted out with Lisa. Adrienne thinks she should apologize (and has wanted to for a while), but she thinks Lisa is being immature in how she's handling their tiff. Kyle flat out tells Adrienne there is no impending apology, so we’ll have to see if she steps up to their stalemate.

If the Shoe Fits
Cute overload alert: Of course sweet Portia doesn't want to wear shoes. She's a hippie dippie! Let the child live.

Anyway, Taylor has the Richards/Umanskys and the Maloof/Nassifs over for dinner. Dinner is a loose term because Adrienne doesn't really eat much, as Paul can barely believe. But the purpose of the dinner isn't just margs and small talk. Taylor wants the gents to walk a mile in ladies’ shoes. Yup, heels.

And so of course Adrienne isn't going to let Paul strut his stuff in some hand me down. And thus they go off in search of the perfect pair. Paul is a natural.

Paul also gets a back-up pair of boots worthy of KISS (and Adrienne gets a pair to match). Hopefully this will lead to them making a KISS-cover band called SOUL or something delightful. All of the songs are KISS-covers but with the lyrics changed to be about shoes. "I want to wear high heels all night, and sensible flats everyday." Basically I just want Paul in full KISS makeup. Fingers crossed that crops up as the season rolls on.

Mother Daughter Smize
Next we see Yolanda dropping in on her daughter Gigi's shoot for Guess. Gigi is drop dead, and she's learning the family business from her mom. Yolanda wants to be sure the eyes are super round and that she's showing enough leg. And she does. Kudos to mom for making sure everything is all in check. She just wants her little girl to look her best.

Lorenzo Llama
And then the big day arrives. Portia's party is going to be attended by several VIPS -- unicorns, bees, her dad if he makes it back in time. But the most important guest of all is a llama. And thank god Lisa make sure he gets through the house and into position.

Ladies and gentleman, if Lisa Vanderpump leading a llama through a house is not your new happy thought, then I don't know what could possibly bring you joy.

Party Lines
After leading a llama to water, Lisa peaces out of the party -- meaning this won't be the chance for her and Adrienne to mend fences Kyle had envisioned. Kyle attempts to arrange a dinner later in the week for the gals to chat, but Lisa's not having it. Of course, later when Adrienne and Paul find Lisa has left, Adrienne feels like things have gotten overly high school and is worried that no one is on her side. Hopefully this all gets cleared up before someone makes a burn book.

In other awkward news, Brandi arrives, also hoping she can make it through the day without incident, even without her BFF Lisa on her side. Thankfully Camille arrives, proving that people can make amends! But then Dana arrives, giving Brandi even more anxiety. Is Dana going to yell at her? But before she can even get stressed about it, Taylor arrives and takes the approach of just ignoring her. Brandi debates leaving again (and eventually does just slink off). It might not have been the boldest choice to make, but it does avoid drama. And of course, once she does leave, the gossiping begins. Taylor relays the story of Yolanda and Brandi’s first meeting, leading Kyle to beg everyone to stop the insanity. Jeez guys, go look at the llama and calm down!

More importantly, Kim actually showed up and has a delightful photo session with Camille. So at least that trouble spot was avoided. Do glamor everyone! Never ask, just do glamor!

What did you think party people? Were you disappointed there wasn't more Donatacci? (Me too.) Do you think Lisa and Adrienne will ever be in a room together again? Or do you think they'll just keep sending each other flowers ad nausem. Leave your thoughts in the comments!

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Brandi: I'm Always Here For You, Kim

Brandi focuses on the positive this week as this season's RHOBH comes to an end.

Hey Bravo Fans,

Today was a fabulous day--t was my baby Jake’s birthday. We got his favorite Oreo ice cream cake, and for our family celebration, it was perfection. I can’t believe he’s already eight. I had to hold back my tears when I realized I will never again use that number eight candle. #mommymoment

It has been a really exciting week for me. My Sonoma County chardonnay, Unfiltered Blonde, launched for pre-sales this week, and despite it being tax season, the first day alone was a huge success. Thank you! The website is up now at www.unfilteredblonde.com. The creation of the wine was an incredibly long and careful process, and I couldn’t be happier or more proud of my finished product. I’m sure you're all as excited as me that this week was the FINALE episode of BATSH-- crazy RHOBH reunion. 

I could talk about the she said, she said, she said… but let’s not and pretend we did. It’s been a long season, kind of centering on one night that really isn’t worth the attention it was given. I’m tired of it, it happened several months ago, I’m sure you’re tired of it. You know why? Because it’s old news and in the PAST! 

Eileen, your house is lovely. Sorry I said otherwise for the sake of a laugh. I really like Vincent, he is super cool, your little boy is adorable, you seem like a good stepmom, and I wish you and your family the very best.

Lisa R., I really loved you on my podcast. You made me laugh and rolled with punches. I really enjoyed our interview, and I enjoyed most of the season with you. I think that’s what I’m going to take away and forget about the rest. I think sometimes you make it harder on yourself with your Twitter feed, but I’m choosing not to engage. I really liked a side of you, and you seem to have a beautiful family.

Lisa V., I had a lot of fun with you and Ken. I will always have a special place in my heart for you guys. I wish Ken the best of health and a speedy recovery. 

Kyle, best wishes on you and your family’s endeavors. My sincerest wish is that you and Kim could be as close as you ever were in the near future.

You are a strong chica and I know your family is better for it. 

Brandi Glanville

Kim, love having you as a BFF. I’m always here for you, and I hope you are always here for me. You are a strong chica, and I know your family is better for it. You are hilarious, and I love our funny talks and text-offs. Laughter is the best medicine. I heart you.

Yo, my dear, dear Yo, I will see you soon. I love you, you are so strong and so brave! I know you are going to kick Lyme disease’s ass! Anything you need, just emoji me.

I want to thank all my supporters for always being there for me regarding all of my other endeavors, including my books, podcast, Celebrity Apprentice, app, my t-shirts, and finally my WINE and for allowing me to be me.

Ok guys, this is the big week. This is the Make*A*Wish Los Angeles Walk for Wishes Walkathon. Me and the boys pledged to try to raise $15,000--I have $12,625 so far. We need $2,375 by Friday at midnight, every dollar counts. Thank you!

I heart you all!

Xoxo

B

P.S.  Here’s my Make*A*Wish YouTube video that I made in my kitchen. youtu.be/DTKMTDs6-R4 

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