Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Pissed In Heels - Ep 2

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Let Them Eat Cake!

Kyle: I Couldn't Do Anything Right in Kim's Eyes

Lisa V.: Everything Is About to Boil Over

Brandi: Someone Poked the Wrong Bear

Eileen: Kim’s Emotions Are Already Running High

Lisa R.: Kim Tends to Forget Key Events

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Caught In The Crossfires

Lisa V.: I'm Not Afraid of Kim

Eileen: Kim Has Exhibited Disturbing Behavior

Lisa R.: Why Do You Want People to Fight Over You?

Kim: I Shouldn't Have to Defend My Actions

Brandi: Having Fun for A Change

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Shock and Suprise

Kim: Brandi And Kyle's Feud Has Nothing To Do With Me

Brandi: Addiction Is Not a Negative Label or Insult

Kyle: Brandi Pulls Out Her Dagger to Deflect

Lisa V.: At What Point Is It Enough?

Eileen: Is There Any Line Brandi Won't Cross?

Lisa R: Let's Call a Spade a Spade

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Battle Between Sisters

Brandi: I'm a Ride or Die Friend

Lisa R.: Everyone Needs to Own Their Sh--

Kyle: Brandi Puts Out Lies, Hoping They Will Stick

Eileen: Brandi Is Acting Like a Mafia Enforcer

Lisa V.: Brandi's Behavior Was Unnerving to Watch

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: A Clash and an F-Bomb

Brandi: Lisa R. Should Be Disappointed in Herself

Kim: Don't Mistake My Sadness for Weakness

Kyle: I Have Never Had Anyone Put a Hand on Me

Lisa V.: I Tried to Warn Kyle

Eileen: Brandi Attacks, Then Deflects

Lisa R.: Kyle Didn't Create This Drama

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: More Fighting and a Peeping Tom

Kim: Kyle Should Be Worried, Not Embarrassed

Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Kyle: This Was Brandi's Master Plan

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

Lisa V.: Kim's Demeanor Was Questionable

Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Pissed In Heels - Ep 2

Portia's birthday wish must not have been for Adrienne and Lisa or Brandi and Taylor to get along.

Hello my little well-heeled friends. Another beautiful day in Beverly Hills another reason for a party with llamas. Let's address this episode.

Present Tense
We open with Kyle and Adrienne shopping for the perfect present for Portia. But besides just wondering if she can fit into toddler's clothes, Adrienne is wondering how she can get things sorted out with Lisa. Adrienne thinks she should apologize (and has wanted to for a while), but she thinks Lisa is being immature in how she's handling their tiff. Kyle flat out tells Adrienne there is no impending apology, so we’ll have to see if she steps up to their stalemate.

If the Shoe Fits
Cute overload alert: Of course sweet Portia doesn't want to wear shoes. She's a hippie dippie! Let the child live.

Anyway, Taylor has the Richards/Umanskys and the Maloof/Nassifs over for dinner. Dinner is a loose term because Adrienne doesn't really eat much, as Paul can barely believe. But the purpose of the dinner isn't just margs and small talk. Taylor wants the gents to walk a mile in ladies’ shoes. Yup, heels.

And so of course Adrienne isn't going to let Paul strut his stuff in some hand me down. And thus they go off in search of the perfect pair. Paul is a natural.

Paul also gets a back-up pair of boots worthy of KISS (and Adrienne gets a pair to match). Hopefully this will lead to them making a KISS-cover band called SOUL or something delightful. All of the songs are KISS-covers but with the lyrics changed to be about shoes. "I want to wear high heels all night, and sensible flats everyday." Basically I just want Paul in full KISS makeup. Fingers crossed that crops up as the season rolls on.

Mother Daughter Smize
Next we see Yolanda dropping in on her daughter Gigi's shoot for Guess. Gigi is drop dead, and she's learning the family business from her mom. Yolanda wants to be sure the eyes are super round and that she's showing enough leg. And she does. Kudos to mom for making sure everything is all in check. She just wants her little girl to look her best.

Lorenzo Llama
And then the big day arrives. Portia's party is going to be attended by several VIPS -- unicorns, bees, her dad if he makes it back in time. But the most important guest of all is a llama. And thank god Lisa make sure he gets through the house and into position.

Ladies and gentleman, if Lisa Vanderpump leading a llama through a house is not your new happy thought, then I don't know what could possibly bring you joy.

Party Lines
After leading a llama to water, Lisa peaces out of the party -- meaning this won't be the chance for her and Adrienne to mend fences Kyle had envisioned. Kyle attempts to arrange a dinner later in the week for the gals to chat, but Lisa's not having it. Of course, later when Adrienne and Paul find Lisa has left, Adrienne feels like things have gotten overly high school and is worried that no one is on her side. Hopefully this all gets cleared up before someone makes a burn book.

In other awkward news, Brandi arrives, also hoping she can make it through the day without incident, even without her BFF Lisa on her side. Thankfully Camille arrives, proving that people can make amends! But then Dana arrives, giving Brandi even more anxiety. Is Dana going to yell at her? But before she can even get stressed about it, Taylor arrives and takes the approach of just ignoring her. Brandi debates leaving again (and eventually does just slink off). It might not have been the boldest choice to make, but it does avoid drama. And of course, once she does leave, the gossiping begins. Taylor relays the story of Yolanda and Brandi’s first meeting, leading Kyle to beg everyone to stop the insanity. Jeez guys, go look at the llama and calm down!

More importantly, Kim actually showed up and has a delightful photo session with Camille. So at least that trouble spot was avoided. Do glamor everyone! Never ask, just do glamor!

What did you think party people? Were you disappointed there wasn't more Donatacci? (Me too.) Do you think Lisa and Adrienne will ever be in a room together again? Or do you think they'll just keep sending each other flowers ad nausem. Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Kyle: I Couldn't Do Anything Right in Kim's Eyes

Kyle discusses the building tension between herself and Kim and what it was like to kiss Steven Tyler.

Yolanda invited us all to do the Fantastic Race. I had no clue what we were in for. When we arrived, I was happy and relieved to see Camille and even HAPPIER when I found out Brandi and I were on the same team. Phew!

Once we started, I was unexpectedly into it. I really liked this running around Beverly Hills, playing childhood games. I had to laugh, because all the women were tortured to have to actually drink a shake! Hehe! All in all, I think it was a great idea and something none of us had ever done (except forLisa R.). It certainly wasn't going to repair the issues between Brandi and me, but we both went along with the game. At this point I was relieved we could actually be in the same room and be civil, even though I knew we would never be friends. I had to laugh when Brandi said "Aggressive Spice” to the girls outside of Villa Blanca. Hey! That's my line that I used on HER. Haha.

It was all worth it (or so we thought it would be), because the reward was a trip to Amsterdam! I had never been and always wanted to go. Of course I had imagined going with Mauricio, but I thought it would be fun--at least with most of the girls.

On the way to Amsterdam, Yolanda invited the women to stop in Calgary, because she and David were hosting a big event for The David Foster Foundation. Lisa R., Brandi, Kim, and I joined Yolanda. Kim had expressed to me privately that she wasn’t happy with Lisa R. I told Kim Lisa was worried, and Brandi told Kim she was questioning her sobriety after poker night. Knowing what we know now, it's frustrating watching Brandi not explain her role in that conversation. Lisa R. had actually gone to talk to Brandi about HER behavior, and Brandi quickly turned it around and made it about Kim. Brandi also expressed concern and revealed things that I know Kim wouldn't appreciate, and yet she went to Kim and said, “I just want you to know what Lisa R. has been saying."

When Kim and I discussed her issues with Lisa R., I told Kim she should pull her aside privately and let her know that while she appreciates the concern, she didn't appreciate her talking about it to other people. I said that Lisa R. would understand, and the issue would be dropped.

As soon as we arrived to the plane, Kim was giving Lisa the cold shoulder. When Kim and Lisa R. started getting into it, I wanted to get a parachute and jump off the plane. It was so uncomfortable being stuck in between the two of them. Kim was then mad at me for looking uncomfortable. Oh boy. This should be fun...

Calgary was amazing in spite of the awkwardness on the plane. The event was beautiful and such an amazing cause. The event raising $8.2 million dollars was truly impressive. The energy in the room was so exciting. I am a huge fan of many of the people who performed that night. It was so nice to see these people coming together to help these children. The highlight of the night came when Steven Tyler and I danced together on stage to "Walk This Way" AND he kissed me! OMG. I still can't believe that happened! I've always loved his music, and he was so kind, fun, and generous that night that I am an even bigger fan now.

When we arrived in Amsterdam we stopped for a moment to use the restroom, and I set my bag aside, and then we resumed walking out. After we were downstairs, I realized I had left my bag there. I felt terrible and told the girls to go ahead, but they decided to wait. Brandi and Kim were clearly annoyed with me, but it was an accident. What can I say? We were all jet lagged, and I wasn't exactly at my sharpest. The topper was when we all crashed on the escalator and Brandi actually hurt her leg. It didn't look like that big of a deal on camera, but it was actually scary. It was a full escalator, and we were all starting to pile on top of each other. Luckily someone hit the stop button.

I couldn't do anything right in my sister's eyes, and things only get worse from here on.

Kyle Richards

Outside, Kim turned to me and snapped at me again. First she said I blamed her for the escalator mishap (which I did not), then said whenever she's late I laugh at her and leave her. She was referring to Season 2 when we were going to Hawaii, and she left her passport and missed the flight. I never laughed and made fun of her. I was frustrated and couldn't exactly make the plane wait for her. I couldn't do anything right in my sister's eyes and things only get worse from here on.

Next week is the most intense moment we have ever had in five seasons of RHOBH...

Thanks for watching and sharing our ups and downs with us.

XO,

Kyle

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