Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Pissed In Heels - Ep 2

Portia's birthday wish must not have been for Adrienne and Lisa or Brandi and Taylor to get along.

Hello my little well-heeled friends. Another beautiful day in Beverly Hills another reason for a party with llamas. Let's address this episode.

Present Tense
We open with Kyle and Adrienne shopping for the perfect present for Portia. But besides just wondering if she can fit into toddler's clothes, Adrienne is wondering how she can get things sorted out with Lisa. Adrienne thinks she should apologize (and has wanted to for a while), but she thinks Lisa is being immature in how she's handling their tiff. Kyle flat out tells Adrienne there is no impending apology, so we’ll have to see if she steps up to their stalemate.

If the Shoe Fits
Cute overload alert: Of course sweet Portia doesn't want to wear shoes. She's a hippie dippie! Let the child live.

Anyway, Taylor has the Richards/Umanskys and the Maloof/Nassifs over for dinner. Dinner is a loose term because Adrienne doesn't really eat much, as Paul can barely believe. But the purpose of the dinner isn't just margs and small talk. Taylor wants the gents to walk a mile in ladies’ shoes. Yup, heels.

And so of course Adrienne isn't going to let Paul strut his stuff in some hand me down. And thus they go off in search of the perfect pair. Paul is a natural.

Paul also gets a back-up pair of boots worthy of KISS (and Adrienne gets a pair to match). Hopefully this will lead to them making a KISS-cover band called SOUL or something delightful. All of the songs are KISS-covers but with the lyrics changed to be about shoes. "I want to wear high heels all night, and sensible flats everyday." Basically I just want Paul in full KISS makeup. Fingers crossed that crops up as the season rolls on.

Mother Daughter Smize
Next we see Yolanda dropping in on her daughter Gigi's shoot for Guess. Gigi is drop dead, and she's learning the family business from her mom. Yolanda wants to be sure the eyes are super round and that she's showing enough leg. And she does. Kudos to mom for making sure everything is all in check. She just wants her little girl to look her best.

Lorenzo Llama
And then the big day arrives. Portia's party is going to be attended by several VIPS -- unicorns, bees, her dad if he makes it back in time. But the most important guest of all is a llama. And thank god Lisa make sure he gets through the house and into position.

Ladies and gentleman, if Lisa Vanderpump leading a llama through a house is not your new happy thought, then I don't know what could possibly bring you joy.

Party Lines
After leading a llama to water, Lisa peaces out of the party -- meaning this won't be the chance for her and Adrienne to mend fences Kyle had envisioned. Kyle attempts to arrange a dinner later in the week for the gals to chat, but Lisa's not having it. Of course, later when Adrienne and Paul find Lisa has left, Adrienne feels like things have gotten overly high school and is worried that no one is on her side. Hopefully this all gets cleared up before someone makes a burn book.

In other awkward news, Brandi arrives, also hoping she can make it through the day without incident, even without her BFF Lisa on her side. Thankfully Camille arrives, proving that people can make amends! But then Dana arrives, giving Brandi even more anxiety. Is Dana going to yell at her? But before she can even get stressed about it, Taylor arrives and takes the approach of just ignoring her. Brandi debates leaving again (and eventually does just slink off). It might not have been the boldest choice to make, but it does avoid drama. And of course, once she does leave, the gossiping begins. Taylor relays the story of Yolanda and Brandi’s first meeting, leading Kyle to beg everyone to stop the insanity. Jeez guys, go look at the llama and calm down!

More importantly, Kim actually showed up and has a delightful photo session with Camille. So at least that trouble spot was avoided. Do glamor everyone! Never ask, just do glamor!

What did you think party people? Were you disappointed there wasn't more Donatacci? (Me too.) Do you think Lisa and Adrienne will ever be in a room together again? Or do you think they'll just keep sending each other flowers ad nausem. Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Eileen: Trouble Is Brewing

Eileen discusses Adrienne's party and gives us an idea for a new drinking game.

This week, we’re all back home and the dust is settling. Sort of.

It broke my heart seeing Lisa R., Harry, and their girls take down their swing set! When we did the same with Jesse we felt that way. It’s such a powerful symbol of growing up and I think it’s so sweet that they celebrated the new chapter in their lives in that way.

I’m excited to go to Adrienne’s party! I wanted to have fun and enjoy a night out with my husband and friends. The party is beautiful, and Adrienne is a fantastic hostess. I was hoping to get to know her better but that was not to be. Trouble is brewing. Like I said in last week’s blog, maybe Lisa R. shouldn’t have approached Kyle about what Brandi said so soon after Amsterdam. But then again, we’ve already seen the worst, right? In Amsterdam? I hope?

Sure enough Kim confronts Lisa R. about what Brandi said during their lunch. Lisa is reticent, and understandably so, to discuss this. She’s dodging the issue, but maybe just saying what she said to Kyle would help everybody stop playing these games! Lisa R. being vague is not helping the situation and Kim leaves, apparently thinking that Kyle lied about it. Yolanda, Lisa V., Kyle, and I try to make Lisa understand she has to tell Kim what Brandi said. She gets it, and God bless her, she does go to talk to Kim. And when she does? Kim is dismissive and doesn’t want to hear it! OMG! Well, this is the definition of a lose/lose situation for everybody! Now, I’m just exhausted from even witnessing this. No one is listening or being honest, and it will never get resolved at this rate.

I think Brandi is having a bit of a memory problem about what was discussed.

Eileen Davidson

Brandi is clearly distraught about her father’s health. Now is not the time to have emotionally charged conversations with anybody. I see Lisa V. trying to help, but the drama is so high right now, it doesn’t seem to be calming anything down. Brandi keeps insisting she’s fine, when clearly she’s not. Maybe she shouldn’t have come to this party, at all, under the circumstances?

Kim and Brandi finally sit down. Kim tells Brandi what Kyle said Lisa R. said. I think Brandi is having a bit of a memory problem about what was discussed. The bottom line is if she had told Kim everything that she said to Lisa R. during their lunch, that major blow-up probably never would have happened in Amsterdam. And Kim? Well, she doesn’t seem to want to do any digging at all into what Brandi really, entirely said and just gives her a big fat pass. Now, Lisa R. is apologizing AGAIN. WHY, people, WHY? I propose a Real Housewives Drinking Game: take a shot every time Lisa R. unnecessarily apologizes to Brandi and Kim (and you better have a designated driver, because you’ll be really, really drunk).

It’s the end of the night and the end of this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. What a journey it has been. I’ve made some good friends, had lots of adventures, lots of laughs, and, frankly, witnessed way too many fights. It surely has been one hell of a ride! And one I will not soon forget.

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