Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Pissed In Heels - Ep 2

Portia's birthday wish must not have been for Adrienne and Lisa or Brandi and Taylor to get along.

Hello my little well-heeled friends. Another beautiful day in Beverly Hills another reason for a party with llamas. Let's address this episode.

Present Tense
We open with Kyle and Adrienne shopping for the perfect present for Portia. But besides just wondering if she can fit into toddler's clothes, Adrienne is wondering how she can get things sorted out with Lisa. Adrienne thinks she should apologize (and has wanted to for a while), but she thinks Lisa is being immature in how she's handling their tiff. Kyle flat out tells Adrienne there is no impending apology, so we’ll have to see if she steps up to their stalemate.

If the Shoe Fits
Cute overload alert: Of course sweet Portia doesn't want to wear shoes. She's a hippie dippie! Let the child live.

Anyway, Taylor has the Richards/Umanskys and the Maloof/Nassifs over for dinner. Dinner is a loose term because Adrienne doesn't really eat much, as Paul can barely believe. But the purpose of the dinner isn't just margs and small talk. Taylor wants the gents to walk a mile in ladies’ shoes. Yup, heels.

And so of course Adrienne isn't going to let Paul strut his stuff in some hand me down. And thus they go off in search of the perfect pair. Paul is a natural.

Paul also gets a back-up pair of boots worthy of KISS (and Adrienne gets a pair to match). Hopefully this will lead to them making a KISS-cover band called SOUL or something delightful. All of the songs are KISS-covers but with the lyrics changed to be about shoes. "I want to wear high heels all night, and sensible flats everyday." Basically I just want Paul in full KISS makeup. Fingers crossed that crops up as the season rolls on.

Mother Daughter Smize
Next we see Yolanda dropping in on her daughter Gigi's shoot for Guess. Gigi is drop dead, and she's learning the family business from her mom. Yolanda wants to be sure the eyes are super round and that she's showing enough leg. And she does. Kudos to mom for making sure everything is all in check. She just wants her little girl to look her best.

Lorenzo Llama
And then the big day arrives. Portia's party is going to be attended by several VIPS -- unicorns, bees, her dad if he makes it back in time. But the most important guest of all is a llama. And thank god Lisa make sure he gets through the house and into position.

Ladies and gentleman, if Lisa Vanderpump leading a llama through a house is not your new happy thought, then I don't know what could possibly bring you joy.

Party Lines
After leading a llama to water, Lisa peaces out of the party -- meaning this won't be the chance for her and Adrienne to mend fences Kyle had envisioned. Kyle attempts to arrange a dinner later in the week for the gals to chat, but Lisa's not having it. Of course, later when Adrienne and Paul find Lisa has left, Adrienne feels like things have gotten overly high school and is worried that no one is on her side. Hopefully this all gets cleared up before someone makes a burn book.

In other awkward news, Brandi arrives, also hoping she can make it through the day without incident, even without her BFF Lisa on her side. Thankfully Camille arrives, proving that people can make amends! But then Dana arrives, giving Brandi even more anxiety. Is Dana going to yell at her? But before she can even get stressed about it, Taylor arrives and takes the approach of just ignoring her. Brandi debates leaving again (and eventually does just slink off). It might not have been the boldest choice to make, but it does avoid drama. And of course, once she does leave, the gossiping begins. Taylor relays the story of Yolanda and Brandi’s first meeting, leading Kyle to beg everyone to stop the insanity. Jeez guys, go look at the llama and calm down!

More importantly, Kim actually showed up and has a delightful photo session with Camille. So at least that trouble spot was avoided. Do glamor everyone! Never ask, just do glamor!

What did you think party people? Were you disappointed there wasn't more Donatacci? (Me too.) Do you think Lisa and Adrienne will ever be in a room together again? Or do you think they'll just keep sending each other flowers ad nausem. Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Eileen: Kim Is Acting Completely Unhinged

Eileen talks about arriving in Amsterdam, the drama that has already taken place, and her fears for the rest of the trip.

I was thrilled to arrive in Amsterdam…that is until the about five minutes in, when Lisa R. filled us in on what happened on the plane with Kim.

It’s very disturbing (is this my most-used word of the season?) that Kim is being so vicious. I appreciate Lisa R. warning me that Kim was “coming after me.” But I have to ask, why? Even if she didn’t like my methods, I have been genuinely concerned for her.

It’s very tense when Kim joins us in the lobby. I was just hoping everyone could have a pleasant trip, starting with a nice first meal together as a group.

At dinner, I was really touched when Yolanda shared with us her feelings about what happened with Bella. I loved what she said about showing your true core. I wholeheartedly agree, and I was happy to think we were going to go to a deeper level in our friendships with each other.  I was surprised to hear about Lisa R.’s sister passing away. It hits very close to home. No wonder she’s sensitive to everything happening to Kim and Kyle right now. I think her apology to Kim was beautiful, and it takes a lot of courage to bare part of a painful past. 

That’s why I couldn’t believe that Kim exploded.  Lisa R. started with an apology. I think this was about the fifth time she had apologized, actually. She wasn’t attacking Kim, but Kim definitely started attacking Lisa R. I was completely shocked by the level of viciousness, and I interjected. That's when Kim calls me a “beast.” Really? For doing what exactly? Then she hits below the belt about Lisa R.’s “situation at home”—whatever that is supposed to mean—and then tells me to “shut my f---ing mouth”? What am I missing? This isn’t our first night in Amsterdam; this is our first night in Crazy Town.

Then, Kim starts in on Kyle, saying she’s not a real sister. There’s just no excuse for Kim’s abusive and degrading behavior. When Lisa R. tries to defend Kyle, Kim hits again with an insult about Lisa R. It’s just getting worse and worse. Then she brings up this mystery insult about Harry. And that’s when it gets REALLY crazy. Lisa R. is pushed to her breaking point. I do not condone physical violence, but Kim is acting completely unhinged, and it’s actually frightening to see this. Lisa R. is provoked to a point that I'm not even sure what I would have done.

This is the first time I've heard Kim mention her grown children this way. I do have empathy for her and what her family went through, but honestly, aren’t her actions far worse than anything Lisa R. and I have said or done?

If it weren’t for Yolanda, and the amazing hospitality she’s shown taking us on this trip, I would go home. From what she has said, Lisa R. feels the same way. This whole trip just started, and it’s tainted by this horrific behavior. I feel sorry for Lisa R., because I know how frightened she was by her reaction to Kim’s ambiguous accusations against her husband and family. Kim’s slanderous innuendos really pushed her mama-bear buttons. 

Back at the hotel, Lisa R. breaks down. She tells Kyle that she will never speak to Kim again, and after tonight, I don’t blame her. I also feel totally traumatized by this upheaval. From the events tonight, jet lag, and lack of sleep, I get emotional myself. I’m having a really hard time being around all of this over-the-top drama. I could never in my wildest dreams imagine something so explosive happening over something that began out of concern. It’s beyond shocking.

So, the next morning, kudos to Kim, I guess? She went to see Lisa R. She must be there to apologize for her heinous veiled accusations about Harry, right? No! She’s there to explain why she got so heated. If “heated” is even the right word? After everything that happened the night before, the trauma, the insults, is this conversation really enough to just make it all go away? Apparently so, and now I am really confused that everything’s “just fine” again. I’m all for working to resolve conflict, but I can’t help but feel that Kim and Lisa are sweeping everything under the rug. It would be fantastic if Lisa feels that everything was resolved, but does she really? How could she possibly feel that after what happened the night before? That was a traumatizing experience, and I’m not buying it. Where’s Kim’s apology for making that veiled comment about Harry? Where’s Kim's apology to me? To Kyle?

WE ARE STILL IN CRAZY TOWN.

Because of our love and respect for Yolanda, we all manage to compartmentalize what has happened, and we go bike riding. Yeah, we did that, and it was hilarious. Biking along canals and passing windmills was the quintessential Holland experience. Meeting Yolanda’s "first" kiss (or was he?) was cute, too. The people that lived inside the windmills were lovely, and it was a personal highlight for me. Yolanda’s mother is amazing! She’s survived so much, and she’s battling cancer again. She’s such a positive and kind person; I see where Yolanda gets it. I’m truly in awe of her. I also adore her brother, Leo. What wonderful people, and I felt a true connection with them for sure. 

At the “coffee shop,” I’m starting to have fun and things with the ladies have mellowed. Thank God Kim decided not to come. For many reasons, that is probably a fantastic move on her part. I went in adamant that I was not going to have any space cake. But, like I said, I gave in to the peer pressure! It was just a little corner, people! So…we managed to have some fun for about one minute. We leave the coffee shop, and I hear screaming. I turn around to see that Brandi is ranting in the street. Honestly, she has become the biggest buzzkill! And I mean that literally!  She thinks we’re all “hypocrites,” and I’m really not sure why. Kyle was upset that Brandi brought up something personal in front of everybody, and Brandi doesn’t see the difference between her behavior and Kyle’s. So, here we have it: Kim and Brandi, ranting and raving, with not nearly enough space cake in the world to chill them both out.

It’s only our second day of this trip! I’m hoping that if it’s this bad now, it couldn’t possibly get worse, right?

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