Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Taylor Gets Shushed

Ep 3:'s Editor wonders when she can sing and what's in Kim's chicken salad.

Hello my little sopranos! I hope you passed your drivers test and saved room for chicken salad, because we have a lot to discuss. Let’s start at the pre-prom party.

Prom Night
We start with Kim prepping Kimberly for the prom. Kim's very nervous because she didn't have a prom, so Kimberly's has to be perfect. She wants to make sure there's enough nuts in Kimberly's chicken salad. Truly, this was one of the sweetest moments we've had on Beverly Hills. There's poor Kim just wanting Kimberly to stay and hang out and drink some lemonade, while Kimberly, like any teenager in the free world, can't get out of the house fast enough. After she high-tails it out of there with her strapping beau, Kim's left looking out the window watching them jet off into the night. Aww. Call your mother. She probably did the same thing when you left for the prom. Tell her you're sorry you didn't eat more chicken salad. Make her a chicken salad and call her. I got so misty over Kim and that damn chicken salad. Maybe it's just me.

In other Richards daughters are growing up so fast news, Kyle's daughter Alexia is brushing up for her driver's test. Kyle is understandably very nervous, probably because she has PTSD from having a bee attack her in a convertible once. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, besides texting and driving, there's another great affliction affecting at least scores of teenagers on the road -- random bee attacks. Close your soft tops and avoid driving with open containers of honey.

Alexia manages to nail the parallel parking practice. . .which is good because she’s practicing in a Porsche.

This is The Dinner
Our newest lady Yolanda has decided to host a dinner party. Like any of us, she's starts the process by meeting with her butler to debate goat cheese cakes and asking Babyface or having cocktails overlooking her lemon grove. No big deal, just wander around the extensive grounds and have some apps and 'zerts. Sit by the outdoor fireplace and feel embraced by Yolanda.

And how does Yolanda achieve that level of embracing? By arranging enough splendid flowers to make Martha Stewart weep for beauty. Then she just trots out to the garden to pick the freshest, most perfectly pink petals, and take from her hundreds of lemons on reserve. Remember in the premiere when Brandi walked into Lisa's closet and just muttered "f--- you" out of jealousy? That's how I felt watching Yolanda pluck perfectly tended flowers and fruits. Just c'mon! How perfect is your life?!? I mean you did work under 100 guys to build it, but I'd deal with that if it was required to have that phenomenal house.

In the Dog House
Later, Lisa swings by Kyle’s to discuss the Adrienne situation -- and to feed her dog animal crackers. Lisa admits that she was slightly strategic in leaving Portia's party a little early, but only because she didn't want to have a row at the shindig. Lisa doesn't understand why Adrienne even wants to make up with her if she thinks she's so low. Lisa is willing to try to make up with Adrienne. . . but it's going to need to start with an apology. Here's hoping that's how Adrienne chooses to start their next convo.

Of course, when Adrienne picks Kim up for the festivus, she and Paul admit they are anxious to see Lisa. Paul's not particularly ready to move forward, so it's outlook cloudy he's going to open with an apology. Hopefully he can keep his angst to himself over dinner, lest Yolanda enter the pantheon of Housewives who have hosted dramatic events so soon.

So the ladies start to arrive, and quickly realize that Yolanda's butler is Camille's former butler. Ruh roh, was he the harbinger of bad vibes at the Dinner Party from Hell? Was he sprinkling each goat cheese tartlet with dramatic tension? Quickly, distract yourself with this walk-in, vegetable color-coordinated fridge. Things should be fine!

Of course, nothing is exactly fine. Tension abounds between Lisa, Paul, and Adrienne. Taylor gets a little too familiar with Chris Botti about Brandi’s comment from the Villa Blanca party. Things even out when David tells he and Yolanda's adorable love story, and then even more quickly to beautiful music. Of course, not all of God's creatures make beautiful music (myself included, I have a heinous singing voice), and David maybe forbids the women from singing -- which does not go over well with Taylor. Nor does the playlist. . .We'll see if her DJ request ends up putting a rift between she and Yolanda.

We leave off with Lisa finally sitting down with Adrienne. How will that go? You'll have to wait until you've given all your Thanksgiving thanks to find out. Til then, what are you thankful for? Was it watching the women conga line to David Foster's music? Was it the animal crackers Lisa snuck you? Was it your color-coordinated fridge? Do tell in the comments.


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Kyle: Kim and I Will Never Agree on This Matter

Kyle clarifies the Kingsley issue and responds to Brandi's most recent accusation. 

I don't want to write this blog. I didn't even want to watch this reunion, to be honest. There. I said it. But here I go....
Let's just dive right into the text message from Lisa Rinna to Kim.
I was very shocked to hear about that text. There is no excuse for that. I believe Lisa R. knows that. I can understand Kim being upset about that. I am sure she was taken aback, as we all were when we heard it. However, I don't think Lisa Rinna is a dangerous person. She just made a really bad choice.

Now onto Amsterdam and the space cake talk. Brandi went after me in Amsterdam regarding the space cake, because she doesn't like me and wanted to deflect from her own behavior once again. This was her big chance to say something about me, calling me a hypocrite for not partaking in the space cake. I have said it before, and I will say it again: I NEVER said I haven't smoked pot. I HAVE. It's just not my thing. I have a lot more fun having a few margaritas. Kim knows that. I would have appreciated her chiming in there. Also, I have NOT eaten a pot brownie or a space cake ever, and my husband had warned me that it would not suit me well, knowing my personality. You cannot gauge exactly what you're ingesting, and it wouldn't be smart. I didn't want to have a bad experience and "freak out," so to speak. Brandi herself wasn't partaking, because of her own reasons (which had to do with her divorce, as she explained), so wouldn't that make her a hypocrite then? WHY did she care if I did or did not choose to? Because she wanted to jump at the chance to make me look bad, since her behavior and her drinking had been front and center. Her drinking was out there, because she puts it out there, and she has nobody to blame but herself. If I HAD chosen to eat a space cake, she would have jumped on that, too. Anything to divert from her own actions which she was comparing to ours. All of us may have a few drinks, but NONE of us behave like her when we drink.
I only address this because it was on television. Her opinion of me is completely irrelevant to me. I only cared, because I am a mother, and her trying to make me out to be something I am not is reckless, as is everything else she does.
Ok. Enough of that. She beat that non-event to death. I think we can move on now.

Now this is the hard part...Kim and I had not spoken since Nov 1st. We both knew the situation with my daughter, Alexia, and Kim's dog, Kingsley, was bound to come up at the reunion. We don't get to pick and choose what we want to talk about.
Alexia had spent the night at Kim's house on Halloween. The next morning, Kingsley bit her. While scary, at first it didn't seem that serious. However, what the first doctor failed to notice was that the tooth had pierced the bone and also broken it. Five days later, we found out that her bone was infected and she needed surgery to clean out the bone. Kim was upset, because I had posted pictures from the hospital. Like I said at the reunion, I NEVER said her dog bit Alexia. Never mentioned her OR her dog. TMZ ended up finding out that it was Kim's dog, and she blamed me, because I posted the pictures from the hospital. I did not do that to hurt my sister in any way or to "get Instagram followers," like she suggested. With all of my family coming and going at the hospital, people were bound to find out and talk.

We were all with Alexia at the hospital trying to distract her and have fun. As any mother would do. We were all trying to make the best out of a bad situation. We invited family and friends to visit and tried to keep her spirits up. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't posted that picture, but I certainly didn't mean to hurt Kim. She posted a picture when she was in the hospital this year. Yolanda and Camille have done so regularly. And where is her responsibility in all of this? However, I do feel bad about what it has led to. And I've told her that. I also felt terrible because I know she loves Kingsley, but I also love my child. It was a difficult time for all involved. I didn't blame Kim personally regarding the dog and was willing to drop it and move forward, yet she was too angry with me regarding the Instagram post to be able to do that.
I wish that since I was willing to let go of my anger regarding my daughter being bit and what she had to go through that she could have let go of being upset about the Instagram post. I HAVE to believe she knows I did NOT do that to hurt her.
For Kim to throw out that she would say something about Alexia ( like she did to Lisa R. regarding Harry ) nearly took my breath away. But her dog is off limits?
So there you have it.
I don't even know what to say or do anymore. Clearly, we will never agree on this matter. And now we have more issues to work through, like my hurt and anger over Kim threatening to say something about my child. I know she loves Alexia, and it was just her being angry and "in the moment," but it's going to take me some time to get past that. All I know is I am glad I don't have to relive all of this again on TV. Now I need to take a step back .
Hopefully, time will heal my relationship with Kim. Time and having an open and honest relationship.
It's been a very difficult season. That's for sure. Thank you all for watching.

Some things I would like to clear up:

A) I NEVER asked for Kingsley to be put down. I love all animals and know how much Kim loves Kingsley. That was never part of our argument.

B) Brooke's wedding : Brooke did a small ceremony at my sister Kathy's house (part of it aired this season), so that Monty would be well enough to walk her down the aisle. The wedding we were referring to at the reunion is her actual "big wedding " coming up. And NO, I did not do anything "unspeakable" or "unforgivable" at the wedding at Kathy's house like Brandi has (once again) put out there. It was a beautiful, perfect day that Brandi Glanville is now trying to throw negativity on. She was NOT EVEN THERE. On top of everything else Brandi has done, she now wants to turn that beautiful day that my family celebrated into something to lie and gossip about. Shame on her.

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