Cast Blog: #RHOBH

The Room

Brandi: Lisa R. Should Be Disappointed in Herself

Kim: Don't Mistake My Sadness for Weakness

Kyle: I Have Never Had Anyone Put a Hand on Me

Lisa V.: I Tried to Warn Kyle

Eileen: Brandi Attacks, Then Deflects

Lisa R.: Kyle Didn't Create This Drama

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: More Fighting and a Peeping Tom

Kim: Kyle Should Be Worried, Not Embarrassed

Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Kyle: This Was Brandi's Master Plan

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

Lisa V.: Kim's Demeanor Was Questionable

Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Yolanda: I Would Like to Apologize

Brandi: I Won't Make Excuses

Kim: I Wanted to Hold Kyle

Lisa V.: I Want Max to Be Ambitious

Lisa R.: Lots of Transition Happening

Kyle: We Are an Emotional Bunch

Eileen: Being a Stepmom Is Challenging

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Surprise and an F-Bomb

Lisa V.: A Naughty Child Shouldn't Be Rewarded

Kyle: Brandi Was Rude and Offensive

Eileen: It Felt Like an Attack

Lisa R.: It Was Shocking and Unprovoked

Kim: Brandi Is Brandi

7 Faces We All Made During This Week's #RHOBH

Brandi: Lisa V. Was Making Me Uncomfortable

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Shock and Tears

4 Questions We All Asked During #RHOBH

Lisa R.: Portia Is My Spirit Animal

Eileen: Brandi Showed Us How Not to Make Amends

Yolanda: I Took One for the Team

Lisa V.: Yes, Love Is a Big Word

Kyle: Moments Like These Are Frustrating

Lisa V.: I Won't Erase the Past

Brandi: I Don't Enjoy Anger or Grudges

Eileen: I Could Feel the Tension at Kyle's

Lisa R Reflects on That Bittersweet Episode

The Room

Ep 4:'s Editor ponders Adrienne's apology, sleeping arrangements, and Ojai.

Ojai! (See what I did there, it’s pronounced "Oh Hi.")

Anyway, homonym aside, our 'Wives took to the open road, for a relaxing spa vacay with the whole gang. But before that Lisa and Adrienne tried to get their Maloof hoofs back on the right foot. Let's recap.

You're Beautiful
We open with Lisa and Adrienne sitting down to discuss Ad's floral peace offering and all that goes along with it. you could tell Adrienne was really hoping to mend fences, because she offered up several compliments to Lisa from the get-go and squirmed ever so slightly (at least according to Lisa's assessment). I know that when I am nervously offering a mea culpa, I always offer several aesthetic compliments. It's the kind of confidence-inducing bait-and-switch folks don't mind.

After making her wiggle a little (and apologize a lot), Lisa forgives Adrienne. However, it seems like it's heavy on the forgive, and lean on the forget, as Lisa thinks their relationship is forever changed, and Adrienne’s still waiting on her apology. . .brother.


Next we see everyone's favorite domestic goddess Martha Stewart Yolanda Foster. She's folding clothes in anticipation of Miss Kim Richards arrival. Before I address their conversation, I just want to go on record that I bet anyone five dollars that Yolanda can fold a fitted sheet perfectly. She just seems like someone who mastered that deeply difficult skill. Anyway, Kim is planning a trip to Ojai for all the gals. It's going to be a beautiful zen-like excursion. . .hopefully. Yolanda mentions she's a little rusty on the girls' trip protocol, so I hope Kim gave her a full rundown on avoiding conflict, packing light (yet also including escape clothes), etc.

Brandi Glanville, Accomplished Author and Model
Like all great literary giants, Brandi's best work was born of pain. You see, as she struggled with her divorce she wrote all her problems out. Realizing she's not the only lady who has been in a public divorce covered breathlessly by the tabloids, she decided that that info might be useful to the rest of the free world. And so, she wants to share those little pearls of wisdom with the world in bound book format.

The only problem: putting those pearls out under a title that involves the words "divorce" and "cancer." But with a little tweaking, a more conservative business suit, and perhaps a few dates netted by her main book man Michael, things are looking positive. Hoorah for Brandi being added to the illustrious list of Housewives with tomes! Fingers crossed she doesn't make any jokes about her fellow ladies in the dedication (also called, Teresa Giudice syndrome).

Next we see Brandi giving some serious face at a photo shoot for Beverly Hills Lifestyle. Lisa hooked her up with a gig (which will hopefully lead to even more gigs, and more fodder for her book). Lisa and Brandi being BFFs just gets continually more precious, with Lisa calming Brandi's nerves about her thumb wrinkles and her relationship with Kim. But as much fun as all that smizing and knees together business is, Brandi has go to rush. She is also off to Ojai as Lisa's guest. . . Yes, even though this is a Kim Richards' planned trip, Miss Glanville is welcome. Perhaps this will be the beginning of them building a bridge to friendship? Or at least speaking? Or at least not saying "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?" at each other.

Invite Only
And so the ladies begin to arrive for Kim's trip. As Taylor points out, this is monumental stuff here. Kim is not only showing up for an event -- but planning it. And as Kim says, she's opening herself up to mending her side of the fence with Brandi, even if it's something she doesn't particularly want to do. (Related: do fences have sides? Or isn't it one-dual-sided entity).

Thankfully our favorite friend Camille Grammer is along to loosen things up on the car ride by talking about Kelsey's privates. Ah it’s just like old times! Except now she has a new man's privates for comparison.

Everything at the resort is just divine. The scenery, the relaxing spa like vibe, the rooms with double twin beds. . .Ah yes, Miss Richards has one surprise. Some of the rooms are double occupancy, meaning the ladies will have to share, like plebes. Watching the faces of the women reacting was just priceless. Who likes bunking up really? Particularly when your bunkmate could be someone who you’ve once severely tiffed with. Or someone who snores. Quick, which RHOBH lady do you think snores? I'm too scared to say.

Finally Lisa and Brandi arrive, and after an awkward Euro-style kiss with Brandi, Kim gets right into it. Lisa and her newfound BFF are going to have to co-habitat. Frankly, I'd like Lisa and Brandi to be forced to sleep together in hotel rooms across America, going from dual occupancy motel to motel, showing off their jammers and shapewear and little mini frilly diapers for weeks on end.

Once they're settled the universe conspires to get the women to dinner and then to have Kim and Brandi seated across from each other. Kim takes the universes prodding as a sign, and mentions starts dinner off with a toast that beseeches the ladies to just enjoy each other and get along as best they can. Perhaps inspired by that, Kyle is even nice to Brandi, and they spend a few moments talking about her ex in a way that seems like progress.

And then Brandi and Kim start chatting, based on Brandi complimenting Kim's kids. Kim seems genuinely touched by this bit of news and the ladies launch into a heart-to-heart. Both ladies have been to dark places and bond over that. Things are going well, until Adrienne calls out her tears. Brandi doesn't appreciate that invasion and snaps back at Ad with a "shut the f--- up." And to think we only got through the beet salad before the fighting began.

Next week, we'll see how that resolves and hopefully find out what planet these women are from that they can't have a nice dinner (Yolanda, we've wondered the same thing). What are your guesses? Mars? Venus? Melmac? More importantly, who would you have worn frilly diapers with in Ojai? Leave me your choice for bunk mate in the comments.

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Kim: Don't Mistake My Sadness for Weakness

Kim thinks Brandi and Kyle's fight at poker night had very little to do with her.

Today’s episode started exactly where we left off, back at Eileen’s poker night. I remember just wanting to leave so badly that I just kept on walking and didn’t even see the physical altercation between Brandi and Kyle. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. I mean one is my sister and one is my friend. I wanted to make it right, so I tried to speak to Kyle, but there was so much chaos between her and Brandi. Then the other girls joined in and at that point, I was frustrated and honestly wasn’t feeling well. I just wanted everyone to let me go home! This drama may have been about me at first, but it definitely ended up being about those two and whatever residual animosity they had towards one another from the past.

On the following day, my pain got even worse, so I spent the whole day getting tests done at the doctor’s. Next evening, I was admitted to the hospital. In my last blog post, I mentioned that I had been struggling with bronchitis and pneumonia for weeks. Well, the doctor said I had a fractured rib, ruptured disc, and hiatal hernia, which was caused by the increased pressure from coughing. No wonder I was in so much pain before poker night! I was in the hospital for nine days. But I'm happy to announce that I’m currently healthy and well!
Even though my family and I are going through some tough times right now, I feel stronger than ever because I need to and want to be there for Monty, my daughters, and son. All you moms out there know, we don’t get days off! Although it seems like I have a lot going on, that’s exactly what I love about my life! Planning my daughter’s wedding is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done. I can’t believe my babies are all grown up, and I could not be more proud. Taking care of Monty has been bittersweet--it’s so painful to see my best friend slipping away, but at the same time, our relationship is stronger than ever. We’re treasuring every moment we have together. Don’t mistake my sadness for weakness. If I were not strong in my sobriety today, I could never do the things I’m doing. Thank you to those who have shared their kind words and support!
Speaking of family, my favorite part of the episode was seeing Yolanda with her son. Oh my goodness, I really related to them, because I’m going through the same thing with my son, Chad. Family dynamics change, and it does get lonely for both Chad and me now that our girls have left the nest. But this is also a special bonding time for us--yes, he’s totally going to have to hang out with his mom more, which both of us don't seem to mind at all! 
XO Kim

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