Vegas Is Their Oyster
Ep 11: Bravotv.com's Editor ponders stripping classes, Suzanne Somers, and more.
Hello my little empowered women. Are you feeling ready to strip your inhibitions away? Or are you regaining your womanhood through chocolate souffles? Either way we've got you covered.
Looking More Pulled
We open this episode with a surprise visit from Suzanne Somers. Suzanne is seeing the European bellini half-full, thanks to a pretty strict anti-aging regime of pills and sex. And she wants darling Lisa to have those same attitudes for her life, even if that means learning to swallow some things.
Next we see Brandi getting her stripper legs with Sheila Kelley, who you might recognize from such amazing programs as Sisters and being a heinous liar on Lost. Now, instead of spending time torturing Desmond, she's working on tormenting those how hate to dance. Brandi needs to perfect her strip moves in order to teach her Night School for Girls. In order to bring women closer to their fully female empowered self, Brandi needs to up her sass. How does one do that? You start by getting your sexy and and creating a concave shape with your body.
Once that is going well, you take it to the pole, and you hope that you get descriptors like "WHAT-ever" and "Merry Christmas." I know I did.
Eight Days a Week
Next we see the delightful lady Yolanda (she is a lady) making souffles for dear David Foster Wallace. She will head Vegas shortly, but only after her man has been properly satiated with chicken and chocolate. While their relationship might be a touch old-fashioned or intense for some, (My boyfriend wishes I bothered to bake anything that didn't come in a roll. Holla Slice n Bakes) if it works for those lovebirds who are we to judge?
Baginas and Exes
Next we see a brief glimpse of the Maloof/Nassifs at Kyle's daughter's graduation. Adrienne is glad Faye stepped up to the plate and defened her. Faye on Fire is apparently a favorite of Ms. Maloof. No relation to Alicia Keyes of course.
After that it's off to Vegas to hear the women bond over divorce, the proper term for your lady business, and mollusks. It seems Kyle's not what you would call an adventerous eater.
It was delightful to see the women cutting loose and enjoying each other's company. These are the kind of dinner parties the gals should get to have. You know the kind where no one yells at anyone.
The Nose Knows
Meanwhile, back in Beverly Hills, Kim is working to get her life back in order. So she's hanging pictures and hoping to hang herself a new nose. Yes, Kim is ready to change her whole life and that starts with the nose. Do you change your life without changing your face? Well then you aren't really changing your life.
I do deeply respect Kim's decision to not let Paul do the surgery. I hold deep grudges against people that spill things on my clothes and ruin them. Let alone people that ruined my face!
While Kim is busy working on her schnooze, her sister is getting ready to work on her "inner sexy." Yes the ladies finally make it to pole dancing class. But while we get the build of of Brandi's inspirational speech, we'll have to wait until next week to see how their actual twirling goes. (Spoiler alert: it's amazing.)
Until then, leave your favorite name for "bagina" in the comments please!