Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Brandi: I Tried Being a Lesbian

Brandi tried to be a lesbian, but it didn't work. Plus she tells the backstory of how Joyce/Lisa's Hair-Gate went down.

Awww now we finally get to see the dramatic side of not-so-sweet-and-bubbly Joyce. . .

But before that we must delve into lingerie shopping with Carlton and myself. As I have said before, I love beautiful women, and Carlton is one of them. However neither one of us are lesbians. I have actually tried to be, but it just didn't work out for me. I can't speak to Carlton's experiences, because I honestly have no idea what they have been. As you can tell, I am easily distracted by lingerie. In fact, I'm quite obsessed with it and all other things sexy and girly. Carlton's body looks like it is zero percent body fat, and she is fun, playful, and non-judgmental. Fun fact: the lingerie I bought that day at Trashy is the same lingerie I wore in my epic home tour. Haha.


Kim invited all of us to circus school, and, although I had a major kink in my neck, I thought it would be good for all of us to try and do something fun together. However the day before I was chased down with my children by paparazzi saying Kyle Richards had called me a bully. I'm sure you can understand walking in to circus school I felt I needed to have a conversation with Kyle. Kim asked me nicely to let it go for the day because she wanted this day to be drama-free, so I begrudgingly agreed. When all the girls arrived it seemed to be going pretty OK, until Kim snapped at Yolanda for no reason. I personally think at this point they have unresolved issues and it came from that place for Kim. (Sidenote: I had my microphone on a waist strap and so I look five months pregnant. Grrrr.)

Anyhow at this point I am getting along with just about all the girls, other then my new issue with Kyle. Circus school was fun and exhausting -- even with Lisa's little jabs-by-jokes about what goes on in my bedroom. Yolanda headed home to her beautiful girls who were off to prom, and we were off to the rooftop of the Thompson Hotel for some much needed food.

Before I get into what went down on the rooftop, let me explain what went down with Lisa, Joyce, and myself. The day of Carlton's lunch we were waking up the stairs, and Lisa let me know that she was upset about the fainting discussion we had in the car. I apologized, but she was still very annoyed. As we got upstairs, Joyce started fixing my hair. I simply said "thanks," and then she went to touch Lisa's hair. Lisa did snap at her a bit, and just said "No, I'm fine." I saw the reaction on Joyce's face and I knew she was bothered by it, even though it wasn't persona. It was Lisa's leftover annoyance from our discussion.

Because Joyce and I have a friend in common and because she was new to this group, I decided to give her a heads up about how to navigate herself in this new group. I called her and explained that I saw what happened with her and Lisa and that she shouldn't take it personally because it had nothing to do with her. I told her Lisa was super sensitive about the fainting conversation and that her best plan of action was to talk to Lisa about it one on one before it turned into something bigger. She said thank you and that she appreciated the advice. That is it, plain and simple.

We get to the rooftop and the Mauricio cheating/bully gate continues. Someone brought up Yolanda's name, and I just didn't think it was fair to talk about people when they are not there to defend themselves -- so I said as much. Carlton doesn't get involved in Kyle, Lisa, and my conversation because it had nothing to do with her, which I respect.

And then someone at the table was clearly feeling left out and in need of making it about her. God forbid Joyce isn't the center of attention. In the middle of our whole drama, Joyce gets up and pulls Lisa away. (When I said one-on-one that wasn't really what I had in mind.) Joyce way over-dramatizes what happened at Carlton's lunch -- I mean it was absolutely ridiculous the way Joyce was reenacting the incident. But clearly she needs a lot of attention. Lisa and Joyce return the three steps back to our table where Joyce twists my words to her about the Lisa hair drama to make it look like I was talking shit and I I absolutely wasn't. Joyce says and does things simply to get attention and it's sad. I should have listened to my friend that told me she was a complete s---tirrer but I decided to come to my own decision. My friend was right.

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Lisa V.: I Understood Brandi's Frustrations

Lisa V. thinks everyone missed the point of Brandi and Lisa R. conversation about Kim.

Well, it's the final leg of this exhausting race. The sun sets on the Hills of Beverly...

And there we have it. So this season I felt was a little more illustrative of exactly who these complex characters are...Some weathered the storm with a modicum of regretful actions and others offered up a complete view into the depths of their inner being. Angry accusations, shrouded with deflection, were the actions of some incompetent of dealing with truths that should be confronted.
I understood the frustration of BG as she endeavored to restore the relationship that we once had, jokingly, maybe sometimes even genuinely, and we were in place of harmless banter, as I witnessed the bonds broken between the other women, the bond that last season was united by a common
I think there was genuine remorse that a friendship which benefitted her initially when she joined the group and we had both enjoyed was unsalvageable, a different one could possibly have replaced it, but once ties of loyalty are broken, you are on the defensive.
I never once said the slap was hard. The endless accusations last season of lying, deportation, bankruptcy, Ken abusing Yolanda...all that was accumulative and there was not enough there to counter balance it. I remember her clearly stating, "I fed that bitch " in regard to me on Andy's show, which was hurtful as we all the know the truth.

In a nutshell, did BG state that Kim needed a intervention? No, I don't know she did.

Lisa Vanderpump

When I spoke with BG, of course I felt empathy for her situation with her father, but that had nothing to do with me. I hear he is doing well, thankfully, but I barely know him. It would've been hypocritical, after Amsterdam, to call offering sympathy, when in the last nine months there had been no interaction between us at all, apart from filming. BG states she loves me...Easy to say, as easy as saying sorry, but actions are more important than words. The way you know if somebody loves you is the way they make you feel. If somebody is sorry, you would feel reassured that they would try not to perpetuate the same behavior. The big question here is, I didn't change from last season, so why this desperation to have me back in her life? Now is there a realization that maybe last year she was wrong, malicious, and vindictive? That should be the conversation. Anyway, I digress. One thing I know for sure is if my father's life was held in the balance, I would be there at his side, not arguing about the dynamics of a superficial conversation, but it was our final party at the end of the season.

In a nutshell, did BG state that Kim needed a intervention? No, I don't know she did. I believe Lisa misinterpreted her saying, "Maybe we all need an intervention" as "Maybe we all need TO DO an intervention." Many other things were said, and it begs the question, was BG's allegiance to Kim? When talking about Kim's fragile state publicly to her friend Jen and then Lisa, I would say not. I know that Lisa left that conversation after many statements from Brandi with the impression that Kim needed help. That was the point...The emphasis should not have dwelt upon one word. I had urged Lisa not to intervene in Kim's sobriety, but she was motivated by her personal history and felt justified in confronting her.
So there we have it, another season. I eally enjoyed Eileen and Lisa joining the cast...
I hope Kyle and Kim can find resolution away from cameras, I pray Yolanda can find her way to better health, and BG understands that relationships need to be treated with respect.
I thank you all for watching and your support...I will see you at the trilogy...

As always...Love, Lisa

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