Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Brandi: I'm Not a Bully, Just a Bitch

Brandi attempts to clarify her issues with Joyce and why she got sick in Kim Richards' bathroom.

We start this episode with Kim and Kyle getting pedicures and bikini waxes while hanging out with their adorable daughters. When the wax lady pulled out giant dildos, all I could think was "Ew don't touch them! Lord know's where they have been." It was fun to see Kyle and Kim laughing and getting along like sisters should.

Carlton asked me and some of her other girlfriends to meet up for a pole dancing lesson before we went over to Kimberly's graduation party. Although Kim and I were not super close at this point, I honestly couldn't remember a time since I've known her that she had hosted anything, so I was definitely not going to miss it.

Carlton had a few drinks before our class. I was not on the same level, but almost instantly I starting feeling dizzy and nauseous. I assumed it was motion sickness from the poles spinning. But later I spiked a fever and was throwing up for the next day-and-a-half, so I think its safe to assume I caught some sort of bug and it wasn't just motion sickness.

We head over to Kim's and I thought it might be a good idea to grab a burger before we went in to hopefully help Carlton sober up a bit and help me to stop feeling so crappy. I feel bad I was ill at Kim's house, but it really couldn't have been helped. It was better that we didn't stay anyhow because Joyce was there in some ridiculous get up and I didn't want to have a confrontation with Miss Attention Seeker a high school graduation party.

Lisa called and asked if I had any dresses I could donate to foster girls for their prom and I was more then happy to help when I can. I actually donated my Reem Acra wedding gown to an army wife, and donating the other gown I wore at my wedding felt like a healthy cleansing move to make. Putting the past completely behind me and starting fresh with some new dresses and new memories. . .

I also thought this could be a good time to hash it out with Joyce and move forward. It is really hard to explain my issues with Joyce to all of you -- but I'm going to try now. Ages ago at Carlton's luncheon Lisa snapped at Joyce, but only because I had just told Lisa that I felt bad for talking about her faint on Dancing With the Stars on the car ride over. Lisa was upset with me and I understood why, but unfortunately she took it out on Joyce when Joyce went to fix Lisa's hair. Lisa was snappy, and Joyce gave me a look as though she were appalled.

Joyce is quite the exaggerator. I thought I was being nice to Joyce by giving her a call and a heads up about the situation. I told her I saw Lisa snap at her but explained it wasn't about her at all but that it was about what I had just told Lisa. I said Lisa is very sensitive, and it's better if you don't make a big deal out of this but maybe just have a quick one-on-one conversation so that it doesn't get blown out of proportion. Then Joyce decided to make a huge deal out of it anyway on the rooftop of the Thompson, exaggerates the entire thing, and then tries to throw me under the bus with Lisa when all I was trying to do is help Joyce understand that Lisa was mad at me and not her. So now your up to date on why I have an issue with Joyce. I think they should change Joyce's title to drama queen not beauty queen. . .

OK now back to Lisa's house. I decide to have a conversation with Joyce. I did apologize for offending her, but I wasn't ready to completely apologize about everything -- not when this woman is calling me the names she is calling me (racist, bully, alcoholic, and bipolar). Those are really exaggerated and extreme labels when the fact is I wasn't bullying her -- just being a bitch because of what she pulled at the Thompson. The definition of bully is a person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. Did I harm her with my powerful ways? Does she really think she is weaker then me?

She claims I play the victim but it's the other way around. The rest is all bulls--- so I'm not going to write too much about it. I was made fun of for being flat-chested, skinny, and having a funny name when I was younger -- but that's just juvenile name-calling. Stick and stones you know? I wasn't bullied, and I have not bullied Joyce. Our conversation goes on and on. We both finally apologize. She hugs me, which I didn't like because you can't label me those horrible things and then expect me to hug you.

It's over and at this point I am happy to be cordial. Clearly Joyce was just putting a band-aid on the situation, though. Even though it was over that day, months and months later she is giving interview after interview about it. Maybe she should have put that band-aid over her mouth.

While watching Kim tell Lisa that she knew she was in town Saturday night, I didn't understand why Lisa's first instinct was to lie about where she was. Not only did she lie initially,  but the she kept insisting she was out of town -- which makes no sense to me.

I don't think it would have been a big deal if they didn't want to go to a high school graduation party, but to lie to someone's face for no reason seems odd. Lisa and Ken throw a ton of events and they expect us all to show up for them and we do. So I think it would have been nice for them to show up for Kim's event. I mean I can't even remember the last time Kim hosted something. I also thought Ken's comment about Kim missing things was a low blow. This isn't the Ken and Lisa I know.

Until next week

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Lisa V.: How Many Scenarios Can We Excuse?

Lisa Vanderpump tries to make sense of what happened at the reunion and gives us an update on her life since. 

And here we have it...the final episode as the curtain drops on Season 5, the last part of this intriguing trilogy...

Firstly, it is almost too complicated to dissect, but let's try to have a better understanding of the complicated dynamic that materialized this season...

I think upon reflection, it has been pretty obvious after months of filming the intent of some to insert themselves into an already fractious situation. Kim obviously felt bolstered by BG, much to her detriment, as she became a victim of her own volatility. I doubt since filming has wrapped whether there has been much interaction between BG and Kim. It would surprise me greatly if this supposedly close relationship is still flourishing.

What concerned me this season was the manipulative attempt by BG to undermine Kyle and to validate any negativity that Kim was feeling.

Lisa Vanderpump

There's not a lot to say that hasn't been said, really, but what concerned me this season was the manipulative attempt by BG to undermine Kyle and to validate any negativity that Kim was feeling, salaciously stating what a wonderful friend she was and how totally unsupportive Kyle has been. I don't believe the years of dealing with a sibling struggling with alcoholism, supporting financially when needed, should be ignored--also the emotional toll it must have taken on the family. This is a family that has many offsprings who love each other dearly, and that should be paramount. BG has no idea of any history, just a few short months under the glare of reality television.

Also in this final segment, it baffles me once again as to the arrogance as to state what is off limits. How many scenarios can we excuse? Dogs? Children? House? Sobriety? Our business became your business when we entered into your living room. We should strive for transparency, and we should deal with consequences as we profit from the benefits.

I have grown close to Lisa and Eileen and enjoyed them immensely, not always understanding Lisa's actions, but always believing it came from a place of concern, even if sometimes, like in regard to the text she sent, it was a little impulsive. Her anger got the better of her, and for that, I believe she was sorry. I am not making excuses for her, but I am resolute in the belief that provocation sometimes creates a day of reckoning.

My suggestion of putting a band aid on a situation is one of experience. Sometimes we reach for the unreachable, especially when it comes to relationships. Furthermore, we have to accept that idyllic relationships are not always obtainable, but what we should not accept is that the whole family infrastructure, which can be so delicate, would possibly be fractured--weddings missed, birthdays ignored, and all of life's moments punctuated, documented with regret.

So that is what I hope for this season, that the devious trifling is never rewarded by the success in the breakdown of any relationship. Last year, as I sat on my own, aghast at what had transpired, I hoped for a clearer picture, and now I have one, as I think you all do.

Snippets of downtime that have been aired this reunion--cups of tea requests, diarrhea jokes, pussy to the bathroom jokes, didn't know a Flex but definitely knew a Ford--are a great way of also demonstrating that there are giggles in the face of adversity.

Lastly, I would like to say a huge thank you to all of you, who have sent messages of love and well wishes in what has proved to be a trying week. The surgery has been a reminder of how sometimes the indomitable support of those close to you is so valuable, and I appreciate it tremendously. My children by my side, friends, and family are the icing on the cake. Thank you to you all. Ken is doing much better and is well on the way to full recovery.

I have appreciated your comments and enjoyed interacting with you.

Much love as always, 

Lisa

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