Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Brandi: You'll See Who the Real Liar Is

Brandi explains her 'Brokeback Mountain'-style relationship with JR, why she made fun of Lisa, and why she thinks Carlton is "c---y" in a good way.

Hi! First let me explain what was (and still is) happening between me and my on-again/off-again boyfriend JR. I'm sure one can only imagine the huge amount of trust issues I must have. Well, JR has a bunch too, so maybe we're not the best combo.

So after he got me my dream rental the day prior, I text my "boyfriend" JR, saying "Let's go out and celebrate!" He texts me back "Just randomly, last minute boarded a plane to Austin for a music festival with a bunch of my 'couples friends' and will be back in a few days. . ." In my head I go to the "super shady" place, and I don't need this again. There was no invite, no discussion, and no mention of a trip to me. He just decided to up and go -- which is fine if your a single guy, but not if your telling me you want to be my boyfriend. So we broke up. . .again! JR and I are Brokeback Mountain-style -- "We just can't quit each other." Ugh.

Let the games begin! Watching the show back is always taxing and exhausting. While I do believe that Lisa fainted, I had to give her a bit of a hard time about it because it was oh sooo pretty. Maybe when she fainted she hit her head -- that would explain her recent memory loss of a certain conversation we had. I am many many things, but a liar isn't one of them, and you will see who the real liar is as you watch this season.

I read of Lisa's health issues in her blog this morning, and honestly I am quite shocked. After almost a year of morning phone calls from her and hanging out constantly, I have never heard of or seen any of Lisa's health issues, other then her faint. I honestly feel like someone is playing the victim card pretty hard here. The only person who is actually really suffering in our group is Yolanda. Yolanda's struggles continue and her health and family are in my prayers as always.

 

Carlton's house is AMAZING! I've never seen anything like it. It really is a miniature castle. I felt a connection with Carlton from the very beginning and not just because of our mutual love for cursing. We are both mothers to young children and passionate about our families.

I met Carlton's best friend through my girlfriend and she said that Carlton was a girls' girl and "c---y in a good way," so I assumed it was safe to repeat this. Not everyone clicks from the get-go, and some of our friendships will take more work then others.

As far as Kyle and the story of Mauricio's infidelity goes, I actually found out about this article coming out ahead of time and gave Kyle and Mauricio a head's up so that they could try and squash it. I would never wish for a family to be torn apart by gossip, and, although it's not clear now, I really was looking out for the well being of Kyle's family and didn't believe the silly rumors anyhow. I know firsthand the damage it can have on a family -- true or not. We have a long journey ahead of us, and I have a stomach flu, so goodnight.

xo b

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Lisa R.: I Am Horrified By the Way Kim Treats Kyle

Lisa R. talks about what drove her to throw the glass.

Have you ever put a bunch of ingredients in the blender, hit power on only to realize that you forgot to put the lid on, so it sprays everywhere? This is exactly how my brain feels after this episode. There has been so much going on and so much building up that finally everything has just exploded into a million pieces.

What a relief it was to see Eileen and Lisa V. arrive in Amsterdam. It was only a tiny calm before the storm, though, because sh-- hit the fan almost immediately. As I watch the show today, there are so many little details and nuances that I'd forgotten in the months since the trip.

As soon as we sat down for dinner, you can see how aggressive and extremely discontent Kim Richards was sitting among us, waiting for the slightest thing to provoke her anger. She looked at whoever was speaking with disdain, just waiting to challenge them. Yolanda was a gracious hostess, though, and tried to make the best of what appeared to be a rocky beginning to the night. I, for one, found Yolanda's suggestion that we each discuss something in our lives that has moved us deeply to be heartfelt and touching.

As I spoke of my own sister dying at age 21 of a sleeping pill and alcohol overdose when I was six years old, I really allowed myself to become vulnerable among these women. I trusted each of them to let me tell my story and perhaps allow my words to be a bonding experience, so I took the opportunity to once again apologize to Kim for overstepping a boundary of hers. Had I known that sharing a story so deeply rooted inside of me would cause Kim to lash out at Eileen, Kyle, and myself, I would have never opened my mouth and allowed us to be left open to her uncontrollable anger and spiteful words.

The insults she continued to hurl at Eileen were terribly disgusting and hurtful. To sit there and insult her physical appearance, call her a “beast,” and tell her to shut her f---ing mouth was just beyond. I mean, even to this day, all I can do is stare in wide-eyed horror and shake my head in disgust. As for Kyle, I wouldn’t presume to get in the middle of family matters, but I am horrified by the way Kim treats her. I can only hope they find a way to settle their differences because this is just so NOT OK.

I'm just glad that I didn't strangle her on the spot, mainly because I hear the food in jail sucks and orange is not my best color! 

Lisa Rinna

Again it was Yolanda who tried to bring a little dignity and class back into the conversation. Unfortunately, Kim twisted what Yolanda was trying to do into a deflection away from her own behavior and onto my husband and me. Where on earth did that come from? I am fiercely protective of my marriage and my family, and I'll be damned if I let someone as disturbed as she create false rumors about my husband. I think it's plain to see that Kim crossed the line. That was my "DO NOT F--- WITH ME" moment. You have just met my inner gangster! I'm just glad that I didn't strangle her on the spot, mainly because I hear the food in jail sucks and orange is not my best color! The crazy part is Kim has met HH once. One time. And that was the night of the poker party when she had taken one or two or 20 of Monty’s pain pills, so who knows what on earth was going through her mind when she met him or during that car ride from hell.

Look, I own the fact that I allowed myself to be provoked, and it was uncool to break a glass in the restaurant. It was not one of my finest moments, but there's only so much my inner gangster can take before she goes postal. It was all very draining, and by the time we got to our conversation the next morning, I was really over it and not looking for another fight. Besides, we were in Amsterdam for God's sake, and it was beautiful and I wasn't about to let Kim, of all people, ruin my short time there, so I stopped reminding Kim that I had, in fact, come directly to her with my concerns and just took the high road.

Chaos and anger aside, I really loved being in Amsterdam, especially with such a wonderful and generous tour guide as Yolanda. Riding bikes through her quaint village to the windmills was refreshing, cathartic, and good for the soul. The cake eating was pretty funny and then, of course, more drama ensued, which I couldn't get away from fast enough. I was in survival mode already just trying to get through the evening, let alone another five days.

More from Amsterdam next week...

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