Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Why 2013 Was So Hard for Brandi

Kim: Kyle Should Be Worried, Not Embarrassed

Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Kyle: This Was Brandi's Master Plan

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

Lisa V.: Kim's Demeanor Was Questionable

Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Yolanda: I Would Like to Apologize

Brandi: I Won't Make Excuses

Kim: I Wanted to Hold Kyle

Lisa V.: I Want Max to Be Ambitious

Eileen: Being a Stepmom Is Challenging

Lisa R.: Lots of Transition Happening

Kyle: We Are an Emotional Bunch

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Surprise and an F-Bomb

Lisa V.: A Naughty Child Shouldn't Be Rewarded

Kyle: Brandi Was Rude and Offensive

Eileen: It Felt Like an Attack

Lisa R.: It Was Shocking and Unprovoked

Kim: Brandi Is Brandi

7 Faces We All Made During This Week's #RHOBH

Brandi: Lisa V. Was Making Me Uncomfortable

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Shock and Tears

4 Questions We All Asked During #RHOBH

Lisa R.: Portia Is My Spirit Animal

Eileen: Brandi Showed Us How Not to Make Amends

Yolanda: I Took One for the Team

Lisa V.: Yes, Love Is a Big Word

Kyle: Moments Like These Are Frustrating

Lisa V.: I Won't Erase the Past

Brandi: I Don't Enjoy Anger or Grudges

Eileen: I Could Feel the Tension at Kyle's

Lisa R Reflects on That Bittersweet Episode

Yolanda: These Are Teaching Moments

Kim: My Heart Felt So Big

Kyle: Kim and Monty's Relationship Is Unique

Lisa V.: I Needed an Uncomplicated Friendship

Brandi: Kim Is a Survivor

Eileen: Brooke Was a Gorgeous Bride

Lisa R.: I Couldn't Be More in My Element

Why 2013 Was So Hard for Brandi

Brandi reflects on Lisa and Kyle's competitiveness and explains why she doesn't show her vulnerable side.

I hope by watching this episode that people can understand a little more about why 2013 was such a tough year for me. My dad and I are a lot alike. We both have tempers and are very feisty. My dad overthinks everything -- and I don't think about things enough. He and I have always butted heads, but we usually resolved things right away.

This year my dad came down with a very serious heart condition. He had heart surgery in the past, and his heart now seem to be relapsing to the point he would need surgery again. He couldn't even walk across a room with getting out of breath. For my dad, who is a very active person, this was very depressing.

My book came out, and originally my dad loved it and was very proud. But once his health started to fail, we had an argument about my Oscar dress and stopped talking -- and not just for a few days this time but for almost five months. I tried my hardest to make up with him to no avail, and I felt very alone.

My dad is the only man in my life that I've always been able to count on and now he was gone. I was sad. And then Chica went missing and I fell into an even darker place. When my kids would leave to go to their dad's, I felt that sadness I felt during my divorce creeping back up on me. I definitely leaned on the neck of a bottle of wine or two when I was feeling lost and alone.

Family is everything to me, and when we are not OK, I am not OK.Thank God I'm back on my happy pill and in a much better place now.

I was very nervous going to Sacramento because one wrong move and things between my dad and I could be unrepairable, which would mess up our entire family dynamic. This is why I brought hot back up in the very relatable form of Mrs. Yolanda Foster. My father gets intimidated easily when it comes to "fancy rich people" and although Yolanda may be rich, she is incredibley down-to-earth.

Seeing my nieces is always a treat. I just absolutely adore and spoil them. After all, they are my only nieces and my sons' only cousins. During my book signing I was very nervous that I would say something wrong or something that would trigger my dad to get up and leave. When I am nervous or anxious I take a LOT of deep breaths, as you probably have noticed. Luckily Yolanda was able to work her magic and charm my dad into giving me a chance to make up with him.

Luckily my father and I have slowly gotten our relationship back on track, and I only hope watching this episode doesn't take us back to square one, as sometimes it restarts the fights between the girls and I even if we have already made up.

My new dog Buddy has definitely grown on me and is now very loved, although we are working through some biting, peeing, barking issues with a trainer. We all miss Chica so much and sometimes I accidentally call Buddy by her name, which makes us all a little sad.

It is very scary that Joyce and her husband had to deal with possible home invaders in their driveway, and I'm glad they were scared off. For me personally, having two little boys in my home that are at the age where guns are in video games and in cartoons (like Star Wars among others) that kind of glorify guns violence, I would not feel safe having a gun in my home. I do have cameras, an alarm, pepper spray, and I sleep with giant kitchen knives under my bed. I'm just too afraid of an accident happening with my children to keep a firearm in my home.

We are all invited to join Joyce in taking a self defense class, which is always a good idea. Growing up my brother, sister, and I were all involved in lots of physical altercations because we lived in a rough neighborhood. I sadly was even involved in two fights in high school. My parents always said that we weren't allowed to start fights -- but we sure as hell better finish them, otherwise don't come crying to them. The three of us are pretty tough kids, so these Beverly Hills women really don't scare me at all (except for maybe Carlton).

I was pretty impressed with Yolanda and Kim's skills, as well as Carlton's, of course.

While boxing with the coach he said I could hit him as hard as I could in the face. Mind you, we didn't tape our hands before we put on the gloves, which makes me mad because I know better and am not sure why I didn't ask to. I go to throw the punch, and he puts his head down so that I hit the top of his head, which is the hardest part of the body -- and snap I break my hand. I knew it was broken the second it happened, but tried not to be a sissy about it and just jumped out of the ring.

I don't like to show vulnerability because when I have in the past I have been let down. Basically I don't ask for help because I'm afraid no one will help me. I know that Lisa cares about me, but sometimes when she is constantly pointing out the things I've done wrong or the things she wants me to do her way I feel like its more so she can say I told you so and be right.

I though it was very sweet of Kyle to give me that card in the limo. We have slowly been wiring on our friendship. When Chica went missing, she called her daughters to go out that very night and help look for her. Kim, Kyle, and their families were also the first gals out of the group to come over and help me scower the neighborhood and put up signs for Chica, which I truly appreciated. I confided in Kyle a little about the situation with my dad and some other things and she was very sweet. She even let me drop the kids at her house a couple times when we had events and my babysitter canceled. To me that is a huge deal and I am starting to see Kyle in a different light. It's funny when Kyle and Lisa get together I feel like their is a bit of a competition for who is top dog of our group. There are a lot of strong personalities in our group, and no one is better then anyone so I don't quite get the competition. . .

(I learn to understand it but that comes later in the season.)

Read more about:

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

Lisa R. talks about the night that went from bad to worse.

Well things just went from zero to sixty rather quickly, didn’t they? Early on, I said how being on this season was similar to being on a roller coaster, and here we are. I feel like up to this point, we have been slowly climbing that first big hill and now we’re at the top, looking down at all of the scream-worthy, white-knuckled action ahead of us.

The quick whirlwind trip to Santa Barbara that Kyle planned was so much fun and full of laughter and really great girl time. The only thing missing from the trip was Yolanda, but she was off having her own wonderful bonding time with her gorgeous girls. It almost seems calling both Gigi and Bella gorgeous is an understatement. The camera loves those Hadid girls, just like it loves their beautiful momma, doesn’t it?

This was a completely different, very unpredictable, and aggressive Kim sitting next to me in the car, and to be honest, it made me feel extremely nervous and anxious.

Lisa Rinna

Needless to say, the rides to and from Santa Barbara were full of crazy conversations. Is it strange to anyone else that we keep talking about grooming habits down there? Seems to be an oddly recurring theme. Anyway, I thought the lunch and wine tasting actually went rather well, all things considered. All of us were concerned about how Kim felt being put into this situation. Like I mentioned, I didn’t know where Kim was in her sobriety at that point with being around alcohol or others drinking it in front of her. I thought she handled it well by knowing when to excuse herself, as I’m sure the whole situation made her uncomfortable. And I certainly know how uncomfortable Kyle was. She really had no idea the lunch would center around drinking. Overall, I’d say the whole trip to Santa Barbara was a success.

The poker tournament at Eileen’s house, however, didn’t quite have the same successful outcome…

I knew the night was going to be a wild one when I saw how Kim was behaving when she arrived at my house before heading to Malibu. She asked to use the bathroom and was acting as if she was high on something, which is why I asked her if she had been drinking or was on drugs when we got into the car. I mean, HELLO! Could that car ride with Kim be any more awkward? Let me tell you, it felt just as awkward as it looked to all of you. I really had no idea what was going on or what to do. Every interaction I have ever had with Kim up until that point was light, fun, and easy going. This was a completely different, very unpredictable, and aggressive Kim sitting next to me in the car, and to be honest, it made me feel extremely nervous and anxious. I wasn’t sure if it was an act or a game we were playing, but deep down in my gut, I knew there was more to it and something was going on with her. I couldn’t get out of that car fast enough when we arrived at Eileen’s home, and I really had no idea what she would do next.

Before we dive deeper into the chaos of the night, I have to say that Vinny is quickly becoming one of my favorites. He’s just so charming and funny, and I love watching him and Eileen banter back and forth. They are such a dynamic couple. Unfortunately, what started as a lovely evening hosted by this fabulous couple quickly disintegrated into a mess of strange behavior. Who knew sitting around a poker table would send some of the girls to the dark side? The repetitive use of the word ‘stupid’ was absolutely unacceptable, though not altogether surprising as Kim and Brandi’s behavior speaks for itself.

That’s all superficial level stuff though that can roll off my back. The part that’s really hard was to watch Kyle realize with both fear and confusion what was going down in front of her own eyes. Kyle is no stranger to this complicated road she’s been down before with Kim, and I know what a deep relationship the two sisters have, so I really feel for her.

I’m sure Lisa V. is thrilled that she wasn’t a part of the crazy evening at Eileen’s. Instead, we got to watch her and Giggy, the little Sex Monster, play nude on the beach in Cabo. I know she was on a much-needed vacation, and I’m happy she was there with her family and precious Gigster.

Looks like we’re picking up speed and not stopping anytime soon!

Xo, LR

Read more about: