Carlton Can't Stop Laughing about Babies
Carlton shares why she waited so late to cancel, what she actually uses in the sex room, and what made her die laughing.
Burlesque room. . .I am sooo excited to do this surprise room for my husband. Our home is so open plan with very few doors, so not much room for privacy with our kiddies. With this room at least we are home, but safely locked away downstairs. I want it to have a burlesque feel with a platform, as David loves to watch me dance so this would be perfect. Years ago I used to dance (ballet and modern mainly). I love to make our relationship fun and sexy, and, 18 years later, I think we've done a pretty good job.
Yes well, Elizy discovers a box of naughty toys, but seriously most of those were given to me as shock value gifts way back from my bachelorette party night. Half I've never used -- but are hysterical memories! Sadly didn't keep the blow up doll from that night. I'm not into hardcore toys. No S&M or fetish for me! Not that there is anything wrong with that. No pneumatic drills or anything that will to chip my teeth, only pain free naughtiness.
I got an opportunity to go and see Lisa in action on her job site of her new restaurant. First off she looks amazing in a pink hard hat, but she's truly hands on and it's her vision. That day Lisa was placing these beautiful huge olive trees. Got to say this woman knows what she wants. I get very excited being on a job site because this is what I've been doing for the last ten years with my brother-in-law John. From buying the land to designing the floor plan and the style of the house to every single interior detail to the landscape. Of course, you have to surround yourself with talented contractors and their crew too, which we have. Nothing more rewarding than seeing an idea on paper take life and materialize. There's always a beginning, middle, and end.
Proper etiquette with regards to Yolanda's dinner. . .Yes, in retrospect, I should have called earlier. But I really did want to go to! I wanted to see Yolanda and knew it would be an amazing night -- and I also wanted to see what David Foster does best. I was sure he would have some fun talented surprises. So when I got sick, compliments of having children who bring germs home, I selfishly thought I would feel better later that day. But I didn't, and the closer it got to leaving my husband said I looked ill and should stay in bed.
Also with respect to Yolanda's fragile immune system, going there sick wouldn't be fair or right. So yes. . .I delayed the bloody inevitable and cancelled last minute! At that point it wasn't about etiquette and being somewhere I said I would go. I was sick. It was about Yolanda and I didn't want to be ill around David's wife no matter how much I wanted to be there. Now there's a conundrum, not so black and white after all. But I really appreciated that Lisa understood.
The dinner party looked exquisite and Yolanda's toast was moving. David's surprise was this amazing group of four boys called "The Tenors." Of course I was sad I couldn't be there, it was reminiscent of a charity event that my David and I went to on Rodeo Drive with the superior Andrea Bocelli performing. This music fills my soul and effects me on such a deep and emotional level.Apparently I'm on the "Dream Team" although Joyce renamed it " The Nightmare Team," but oddly that does sound wonderful too. Thank you. Hmmm. . .Just four woman who are a force to be reckoned with. Yes, I could see how that could be your nightmare.
This dinner was by far the funniest and most enjoyable to watch. The one where Brandi gets confused as to which "Baby" Joyce is referring to. Was it the real "baby" children or the man "baby"? It was f---ing hysterical -- especially his expression, priceless!
OMFG and Joyce's talking head with no breaths to be heard "He is my baby and if you're upset you don't have a baby then go find a baby and maybe if you acted different you'd have a baby of your own!" Baby, baby, baby. Good God give it a rest!
Brandi actually has two real babies, not a man baby. Joyce calling him a baby and then he's calling her his "little girl"! I am sensing a theme here. Sorry it's a little creepy. Just an observation.
So that's it until next week have a magical, blessed and safe holiday. May your pressies sparkle like the light within you.