Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Carlton Can't Stop Laughing about Babies

Carlton shares why she waited so late to cancel, what she actually uses in the sex room, and what made her die laughing.

Burlesque room. . .I am sooo excited to do this surprise room for my husband. Our home is so open plan with very few doors, so not much room for privacy with our kiddies. With this room at least we are home, but safely locked away downstairs. I want it to have a burlesque feel with a platform, as David loves to watch me dance so this would be perfect. Years ago I used to dance (ballet and modern mainly). I love to make our relationship fun and sexy, and, 18 years later, I think we've done a pretty good job.

Yes well, Elizy discovers a box of naughty toys, but seriously most of those were given to me as shock value gifts way back from my bachelorette party night. Half I've never used -- but are hysterical memories! Sadly didn't keep the blow up doll from that night. I'm not into hardcore toys. No S&M or fetish for me! Not that there is anything wrong with that. No pneumatic drills or anything that will to chip my teeth, only pain free naughtiness.

I got an opportunity to go and see Lisa in action on her job site of her new restaurant. First off she looks amazing in a pink hard hat, but she's truly hands on and it's her vision. That day Lisa was placing these beautiful huge olive trees. Got to say this woman knows what she wants. I get very excited being on a job site because this is what I've been doing for the last ten years with my brother-in-law John. From buying the land to designing the floor plan and the style of the house to every single interior detail to the landscape. Of course, you have to surround yourself with talented contractors and their crew too, which we have. Nothing more rewarding than seeing an idea on paper take life and materialize. There's always a beginning, middle, and end.

Proper etiquette with regards to Yolanda's dinner. . .Yes, in retrospect, I should have called earlier. But I really did want to go to! I wanted to see Yolanda and knew it would be an amazing night -- and I also wanted to see what David Foster does best. I was sure he would have some fun talented surprises. So when I got sick, compliments of having children who bring germs home, I selfishly thought I would feel better later that day. But I didn't, and the closer it got to leaving my husband said I looked ill and should stay in bed.

Also with respect to Yolanda's fragile immune system, going there sick wouldn't be fair or right. So yes. . .I delayed the bloody inevitable and cancelled last minute! At that point it wasn't about etiquette and being somewhere I said I would go. I was sick. It was about Yolanda and I didn't want to be ill around David's wife no matter how much I wanted to be there. Now there's a conundrum, not so black and white after all. But I really appreciated that Lisa understood.

The dinner party looked exquisite and Yolanda's toast was moving. David's surprise was this amazing group of four boys called "The Tenors." Of course I was sad I couldn't be there, it was reminiscent of a charity event that my David and I went to on Rodeo Drive with the superior Andrea Bocelli performing. This music fills my soul and effects me on such a deep and emotional level.Apparently I'm on the "Dream Team" although Joyce renamed it " The Nightmare Team," but oddly that does sound wonderful too. Thank you. Hmmm. . .Just four woman who are a force to be reckoned with. Yes, I could see how that could be your nightmare.

This dinner was by far the funniest and most enjoyable to watch. The one where Brandi gets confused as to which "Baby" Joyce is referring to. Was it the real "baby" children or the man "baby"? It was f---ing hysterical -- especially his expression, priceless!

OMFG and Joyce's talking head with no breaths to be heard "He is my baby and if you're upset you don't have a baby then go find a baby and maybe if you acted different you'd have a baby of your own!" Baby, baby, baby. Good God give it a rest!

Brandi actually has two real babies, not a man baby. Joyce calling him a baby and then he's calling her his "little girl"! I am sensing a theme here. Sorry it's a little creepy. Just an observation.

So that's it until next week have a magical, blessed and safe holiday. May your pressies sparkle like the light within you.

XOXO

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Lisa V.: I Understood Brandi's Frustrations

Lisa V. thinks everyone missed the point of Brandi and Lisa R. conversation about Kim.

Well, it's the final leg of this exhausting race. The sun sets on the Hills of Beverly...

And there we have it. So this season I felt was a little more illustrative of exactly who these complex characters are...Some weathered the storm with a modicum of regretful actions and others offered up a complete view into the depths of their inner being. Angry accusations, shrouded with deflection, were the actions of some incompetent of dealing with truths that should be confronted.
I understood the frustration of BG as she endeavored to restore the relationship that we once had, jokingly, maybe sometimes even genuinely, and we were in place of harmless banter, as I witnessed the bonds broken between the other women, the bond that last season was united by a common enemy...me.
I think there was genuine remorse that a friendship which benefitted her initially when she joined the group and we had both enjoyed was unsalvageable, a different one could possibly have replaced it, but once ties of loyalty are broken, you are on the defensive.
I never once said the slap was hard. The endless accusations last season of lying, deportation, bankruptcy, Ken abusing Yolanda...all that was accumulative and there was not enough there to counter balance it. I remember her clearly stating, "I fed that bitch " in regard to me on Andy's show, which was hurtful as we all the know the truth.

In a nutshell, did BG state that Kim needed a intervention? No, I don't know she did.

Lisa Vanderpump

When I spoke with BG, of course I felt empathy for her situation with her father, but that had nothing to do with me. I hear he is doing well, thankfully, but I barely know him. It would've been hypocritical, after Amsterdam, to call offering sympathy, when in the last nine months there had been no interaction between us at all, apart from filming. BG states she loves me...Easy to say, as easy as saying sorry, but actions are more important than words. The way you know if somebody loves you is the way they make you feel. If somebody is sorry, you would feel reassured that they would try not to perpetuate the same behavior. The big question here is, I didn't change from last season, so why this desperation to have me back in her life? Now is there a realization that maybe last year she was wrong, malicious, and vindictive? That should be the conversation. Anyway, I digress. One thing I know for sure is if my father's life was held in the balance, I would be there at his side, not arguing about the dynamics of a superficial conversation, but it was our final party at the end of the season.


In a nutshell, did BG state that Kim needed a intervention? No, I don't know she did. I believe Lisa misinterpreted her saying, "Maybe we all need an intervention" as "Maybe we all need TO DO an intervention." Many other things were said, and it begs the question, was BG's allegiance to Kim? When talking about Kim's fragile state publicly to her friend Jen and then Lisa, I would say not. I know that Lisa left that conversation after many statements from Brandi with the impression that Kim needed help. That was the point...The emphasis should not have dwelt upon one word. I had urged Lisa not to intervene in Kim's sobriety, but she was motivated by her personal history and felt justified in confronting her.
So there we have it, another season. I eally enjoyed Eileen and Lisa joining the cast...
I hope Kyle and Kim can find resolution away from cameras, I pray Yolanda can find her way to better health, and BG understands that relationships need to be treated with respect.
I thank you all for watching and your support...I will see you at the trilogy...

As always...Love, Lisa

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