Carlton Finds a "New Kind of Stupid"

Carlton reacts to Joyce and Michael's comments about her kids' names and gives her impressions of her fellow Housewives.

Hello. . .I probably should introduce myself although you already know a bit about me. . .sort of. But please allow me to say that I am not here to change anyone's religious or spiritual beliefs. There seems to be a curiosity about mine. I'd rather not do this if truth be told.

I don't put labels on anything or anyone because it feels like its a sentence -- and certainly not when it comes to my faith. What I believe in and practice is incredibly sacred to me, as with anyone who protects their religion. Up until this journey I have very rarely discussed my beliefs with anyone other than my immediate circle of friends and family. Most people I know or have known have no idea. It's just not what I do. I don't discuss politics or religion. There really is no upside. However I feel there is no reason why all religions cannot coexist.

There is no one true definition for what I practice, there are many variations but my faith centers around the miracles of Nature, Mother Earth. It is a beautiful, harmonious, and positive religion. There is nothing supernatural; it just harnesses natures energy.

I grew up in a somewhat pagan household until my mum married when I was seven. My life at points were pieces to a puzzle. My grandmother, my grandfather and my mum, and then the in-between. My ancestry is as follows; my biological father was Welsh, my mum was English/Irish, my grandfather Scottish, my grandmother was English, my great grandmother or great great was Irish and then there was a sprinkling of French! I am Celtic, obviously, and I am pagan witch. Yes witch! My grandmother practiced, and I am a solitary practitioner, have been for decades. I never belonged to a coven because we moved so much, but I think covens are essential to a community. I have taken traditions from Wicca and British Traditional Witchcraft to cultivate my own spiritual path. I celebrate the cycles of the sun, moon, and seasons.

As a child, I always had a respect and understanding for nature and animals. I honor Mother Nature, the earth. I am polytheistic. I believe in goddess and a god. I believe that within us lies those deities.

I believe in the power of prayer, candles, crystals, and the earth's natural energies. They are a gift from Mother Nature and work with our vibrations. I believe in the holistic power on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. I am not nor have I ever professed to be an authority on this but what I practice and believe in works for me solely!

I do not believe someone's religion defines who they are as human beings. I don't judge anyone by what they believe in! I believe that your heart and your actions however do define you.

So now you have a little insight to me let us begin. . .

My husband David and his family have a business called StockCross Financial Services which is located in the heart of Beverly Hills. We have been members of the Beverly Hills Chamber of Commerce for over 20 years. We received an invitation from the BHCC to attend a cocktail party that they were hosting to celebrate Beverly Hills' 100 years.

When I asked David who's home we were going to, he said Kyle Richards. . .I replied who? He said she was one of the Housewives on RHOBH. I still was none the wiser, but I was excited to learn that her husband Mauricio is a very successful real estate broker and due to my love of architecture and my profession I was really excited to see their Beverly Hills home and taste.

I know!!! You call BS. But truth be told I rarely watched reality TV and certainly hadn't watched Housewives. But once I knew that this new journey of mine was going to become a "reality" for me, I watched a few episodes to get a little sense of the girls. Since this journey has begun I am proud to say I am finally up-to-date!

Anyway not particularly in the mood for another business cocktail party. For the most part I find them a little boring. But, like I said I have met some really interesting people along the way. Who knows this could be fun?

Here we go. . .Kyle greeted us and graciously invited us into her home and because of my passion for design I always soak up my environment, architectural elements, and interior details etc. Her home was lovely. I certainly could appreciate the beauty even though its not my personal taste. It was very quaint.

Kyle asked about our children and their unique names, she made a quip that could have been misconstrued -- but it seemed like she had a genuine interest in the story of their names, which was very warming. Oh and her little girl Portia is the cutest! I think having young children as a commonality softens any first meeting. It's just a safe place to start from.

So here I am standing with Kyle and Kim and suddenly Kyle has a disagreeable reaction to something she sees. "Oh Lord" she sighs. I turn to see three ladies who are Lisa, Yolanda and Brandi. Yet when Kyle and I approach these three girls, Kyle greets each with smiles and kisses. So admittedly that was a little confusing. Certainly an obvious history between all these girls, not so sure it's all roses though.

We were introduced to Kim, Kyle's sister when David and I first arrived but it was so brief. However later that evening we had a moment to chat about our children and how her daughter is getting ready to go off to college and how difficult as a mother it is to let your baby go. I really felt for her, I cant even imagine the symbolic cutting of that umbilical cord when my daughters are ready for college. She was pleasantly sweet with me.

Also at the beginning of the night I had a quick intro to Lisa Vanderpump, a fellow Brit, but later we got a chance to chat.

Lisa did fixate a bit on my accent until I explained that I was born in Guernsey, the Channel Islands. I lived all over England until I moved to South Africa when I was 14, finally moving back to London when I was 18. . .So my accent I guess does not sound the same as Lisa's. Part English part South African, I really don't analyze it.

We also met Lisa's husband Ken. I liked him. He was funny. I think we had a little debate going back-and-forth about Guernsey being a Crown dependency with the United Kingdom, known as the British Islands but that didn't last long. He seems rather interesting. I spoke to Lisa for a while, I liked her and appreciated her dry sense of humor. It was actually quite refreshing. She's definitely smart, intuitive, and glamorous -- not a fan of my cursing but that may take some work on my part. Good or bad swearing for me is part of my language, it's more of a colourful adjective. Of course, I have to respectfully and consciously curtail it in certain venues. That has been challenging to say the least.

Kyle was a source of comic relief. She at one point attempted her version of a British accent, which was hysterical.

Oh side note. . .It was bloody cold out there if I had known it was going to be outside I would have worn thermals.

Next this statuesque Nordic beauty Yolanda introduces herself to David and I. I enjoyed speaking to her, I thought she was bright, funny, and extremely approachable. I can see why she was a model, she's stunning. Also another striking beauty I met was Brandi her face was flawless. Now she was entertaining and made me giggle. I think I liked her because we have a similar naughty sense of humor and she definitely says what's on her mind. I like that.

Kyle introduces David and I to Joyce and her husband.  Joyce is a beautiful tall brunette with a head of hair that is incredible! Again we also talk about our children and their ages. She has two little boys. We both have two-year-old boys, which I thought was nice. Who knows maybe a play date?

Immediately Joyce's husband begins to talk excitedly about how he wants a naked room so he can run around naked with his pee pee out! Firstly did I just hear a grown man refer to his manliness as a "pee pee" Eeeewww! Secondly the mere image of this "big" man as Joyce quickly pointed out, running around naked is a horrifying visual! OK so he's an exhibitionist, which he freely admits but I say TMI! Um, I just met you.

He then asks my son and daughters names "Hold on..Cross?" turning his ear as if he's temporarily lost his hearing. "That's unbelievable." Is it Michael? Then Joyce says "Destiny and Mysteri. I like that even better than Cross". . .crickets!

So happy you like my girls names Joyce, did you notice I made no comment about your children's names. I'm sorry but as far as I'm concerned children are off-limits. It's sort of an unwritten parental code. And when it comes to my family especially my babies that is where I will surely show my teeth! Honestly who does that? What parent comments to another parent they just met, that they don't like the choice of name they chose for their child?

I understand that my children's names are unique but this was a first for me. It's astonishing that this couple I just met would make such rude and tactless comments directly to me -- a mother, protector of her babes. This is by far a new kind of stupid.

Oh and one more comment, they said that having more than two children was too many. They liked to have one for each hand. . .Oh my god I feel like I'm in the bloody twilight zone. Who are these couple of twits?

NO play date for you!

This evening just keeps getting better. Still standing with this group plus a man called Martin they start talking about porn. Immediately Kyle offers up that Lisa showed three-quarters of a nipple. Kim makes a comment too and they begin to laugh. At that moment I got an ugly feeling in my stomach. I was uncomfortable. I obviously don't have an issue with nudity, and I'm certainly open-minded. But I think what I find distasteful is that Lisa isn't here to either laugh it off or laugh with them. Even if it is an inside joke, it just feels mean-spirited. I don't know these women's history, but at the beginning of this evening Kyle looked like she was friendly with Lisa. She certainly was smiling and laughing with her.

So this whole experience from Joyce and her husband to this thing about Lisa has left a bad taste in my mouth! Thank god at that moment David and I start talking to Brandi as we commiserate how we can successfully only manage Vegas for ONE night!

My husband introduced me to Alex Stettinski the Director of The BHCC he was lovely and has always been a great supporter of my husband's business so at least that was a familiar face. Still not a fan of business cocktails parties.

Yeeeay it's finally over! Going home to take a shower and climb into bed with my hubby and my girls and my son Cross. Yes. . .that's right Cross.

All Posts About: Carlton Gebbia

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