Cast Blog: #RHOBH

No Team Kyle for Carlton

No matter how hard Carlton tries she can't like Kyle or understand Joyce's need to bring high school into things.

When I write my blogs they are emotionally accurate and relevant to how I felt at that specific time for the episode airing that week.

I received an invite from Kyle to meet, which I thought would be a perfect one-on-one opportunity to clear the air between us since we were going to be trapped in Palm Springs with one another. Maybe we could just put this BS behind us, Yeah. . .no. Best laid plans and all that!

My intention was to be completely upfront and honest with her, letting her know the issues I've had and hopefully we could move foreword from this point. To clear the air so to speak, like big girls do. Unfortunately when you deal with a personality such as this one, it's a losing battle. On one hand she's agreeing with me and saying she's glad I told her about my issues. Kyle said that she wished the other girls had done this -- as maybe there wouldn't be so many problems. And just as I think this really uncomfortable and awkward meeting may work out positively -- then right in mid-sentence again, she turns on her heels or flats and walks away! Brilliant. Oh Kylie, you say "t--s on an ant," I say you're a rude t---ed ant.

Oh and the "So overwhelmed that day, had no help, didn't have a babysitter" that's f----ing hysterical. . .Hello food delivery for four, saw no child, and we set up your table! Nope just rude. At some point you just have to say "F--- it, I give up." She just can't help herself, she's passive aggressive, prejudiced, and still offensive, no matter how hard I've tried to like her. . .Oh well No Team Kyle for me, packing away me pom poms.

I did have a really fun trip driving down with Lisa to Palm Springs she's extremely witty and interesting. Yolanda and Brandi called us tying to think of a nickname for me as Lisa's was Pinky. Yolanda came up with "Blackie," which I immediately loved! My husband's Sicilian Grandfather Salvatore's nickname was "Blackie." He passed away, but had a full head of black hair. A gorgeous and amazing man who I loved, so it was a wonderful term of endearment for me!

The idea of having this trip for all was a gamble to say the least and going to Palm Springs in the middle of June's 120 degrees heet, trapped in an isolated colony in the middle of the desert and the worst part. . .no bloody room service! This has all the ingredients for a horror story, not my way of traveling. I'm spoiled. I make no apologies for it, and we all have money right? There is a strong possibility we may be missing one or two upon our arrival home.

I must say the Colony was beautiful with wonderful architectural elements, maybe under a different setting.

Oh and yes the kiss -- rather yummy, but oh please, moving on.

But then Brandi makes the fatal mistake of calling Joyce "Jacqueline." OMG! Suddenly Joyce gets stuck in this obsessed repeat mode of her name, saying it over and over again, "Joyce, Joyce, Joyce" as if it may sound different if she keeps repeating it in this strange robotic-like state. I couldn't help but hold my breath in sheer anticipation, until she suddenly snapped out of it. Thank f---ing god! She is human.

I do have tattoos and I love all six of them. They are personal and spiritual to me representing my faith, my soulmate, and my children. Thankfully no drunk ones yet! But whether or not you like tattoos they are an art form. A lot of these tattooists are true artists; some fine artists in every sense of the word. I love seeing them on my body. They make me smile.

Which leads me to being asked about my faith in the pool. . .Fan-f---ing-Tastic! Nothing like being put on the spot. I was surprised that Kyle seemed to notice the little one on my foot, which is of a pentagram. I am incredibly hesitant to talk to a couple of these girls about what I believe in. I'm certainly not seeking their approval, as they don't need mine for their religious choices either -- which is the obvious reason why one shouldn't discuss religion or politics. However I am urged to. Up until this journey of RHOBH, I never discussed my faith with strangers, and only my inner circle knew of my beliefs. This is largely due to my experience growing up and constantly having to defend it because people feared or didn't understand it.

I've been asked to clarify a little more about what my faith is. I am a Pagan. My religion is Wicca, which is a positive nature based faith and I am a solitary practitioner. As I've said before there is no one true definition of my faith and I've never professed to be an authority. But I practice what works for me and I most certainly don't feel the need to justify it. I am not here to convert, recruit, or change anyone's religious or spiritual beliefs. There are a few girls here who genuinely do have a curiosity. I was asked a question and I answered with what I was comfortable with sharing at that time. If I sense it's coming from a genuine place of interest, then my answers will often be more in-depth. But if I sense it's not and I'm dealing with pre-judgements, then I will answer more one-dimensionally because I refuse to unveil and share something so sacred to me.

Oh and then there's Joyce with her clueless quote "I have a god that is so much more powerful than any witch in the world." Wow! You have just insulted and dismissed an organized religion where by hundreds of thousands of people all over the world are practicing Pagans and Wiccans. A religion that is recognized in the United States Military. This is by the far one of the most ignorant and prejudice statements I've ever heard from someone I unfortunately know. Sadly there will always be religious bigotry and intolerance. But you Miss Puerto Rico should know better. Sometimes you just can't educate ignorance. Shockingly disrespectful by someone who just recklessly threw out the race card.

So she doesn't want to get her hair wet in the four foot deep pool and then Kyle starts in with her way too casual utterance of irresponsible labeling. Again, "peer pressure." Give me a f---ing break. . .Not even close! How many labels does this one have under her girdle? so far I've heard "bullying," "ganged up on," and "peer pressure." There does seem to be a pattern: Labels associated with teenagers in high school, who seriously have endured the severity of those name. But I don't think she knows shes not a teenager.

Oh and the dinner from hell was soooo fun! More labels, this time Joyce uses "bullying" referring to Brandi teasing her with the wrong name. This is bloody exhausting! If as adults we constantly reverted back to childhood memories of bad name calling we'd never get out of bed! These adults and their diluted labels. Oh and yes there was that wonderful welcoming toast as host to her dinner. . .I mean Joyce toasting herself. . . Crickets! God this is an evening that will not DIE!

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Brandi: I'm Always Here For You, Kim

Brandi focuses on the positive this week as this season's RHOBH comes to an end.

Hey Bravo Fans,

Today was a fabulous day--t was my baby Jake’s birthday. We got his favorite Oreo ice cream cake, and for our family celebration, it was perfection. I can’t believe he’s already eight. I had to hold back my tears when I realized I will never again use that number eight candle. #mommymoment

It has been a really exciting week for me. My Sonoma County chardonnay, Unfiltered Blonde, launched for pre-sales this week, and despite it being tax season, the first day alone was a huge success. Thank you! The website is up now at The creation of the wine was an incredibly long and careful process, and I couldn’t be happier or more proud of my finished product. I’m sure you're all as excited as me that this week was the FINALE episode of BATSH-- crazy RHOBH reunion. 

I could talk about the she said, she said, she said… but let’s not and pretend we did. It’s been a long season, kind of centering on one night that really isn’t worth the attention it was given. I’m tired of it, it happened several months ago, I’m sure you’re tired of it. You know why? Because it’s old news and in the PAST! 

Eileen, your house is lovely. Sorry I said otherwise for the sake of a laugh. I really like Vincent, he is super cool, your little boy is adorable, you seem like a good stepmom, and I wish you and your family the very best.

Lisa R., I really loved you on my podcast. You made me laugh and rolled with punches. I really enjoyed our interview, and I enjoyed most of the season with you. I think that’s what I’m going to take away and forget about the rest. I think sometimes you make it harder on yourself with your Twitter feed, but I’m choosing not to engage. I really liked a side of you, and you seem to have a beautiful family.

Lisa V., I had a lot of fun with you and Ken. I will always have a special place in my heart for you guys. I wish Ken the best of health and a speedy recovery. 

Kyle, best wishes on you and your family’s endeavors. My sincerest wish is that you and Kim could be as close as you ever were in the near future.

You are a strong chica and I know your family is better for it. 

Brandi Glanville

Kim, love having you as a BFF. I’m always here for you, and I hope you are always here for me. You are a strong chica, and I know your family is better for it. You are hilarious, and I love our funny talks and text-offs. Laughter is the best medicine. I heart you.

Yo, my dear, dear Yo, I will see you soon. I love you, you are so strong and so brave! I know you are going to kick Lyme disease’s ass! Anything you need, just emoji me.

I want to thank all my supporters for always being there for me regarding all of my other endeavors, including my books, podcast, Celebrity Apprentice, app, my t-shirts, and finally my WINE and for allowing me to be me.

Ok guys, this is the big week. This is the Make*A*Wish Los Angeles Walk for Wishes Walkathon. Me and the boys pledged to try to raise $15,000--I have $12,625 so far. We need $2,375 by Friday at midnight, every dollar counts. Thank you!

I heart you all!



P.S.  Here’s my Make*A*Wish YouTube video that I made in my kitchen. 

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