Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Pole Dancing Isn't Just Sashaying Around

Kim: Kyle Should Be Worried, Not Embarrassed

Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Kyle: This Was Brandi's Master Plan

Lisa R.: It Felt Just As Awkward As It Looked

Lisa V.: Kim's Demeanor Was Questionable

Eileen: Brandi Loves to Stir the Pot

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Disgust and a Push

Yolanda: I Would Like to Apologize

Brandi: I Won't Make Excuses

Kim: I Wanted to Hold Kyle

Lisa V.: I Want Max to Be Ambitious

Lisa R.: Lots of Transition Happening

Kyle: We Are an Emotional Bunch

Eileen: Being a Stepmom Is Challenging

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Surprise and an F-Bomb

Lisa V.: A Naughty Child Shouldn't Be Rewarded

Kyle: Brandi Was Rude and Offensive

Eileen: It Felt Like an Attack

Lisa R.: It Was Shocking and Unprovoked

Kim: Brandi Is Brandi

7 Faces We All Made During This Week's #RHOBH

Brandi: Lisa V. Was Making Me Uncomfortable

#RHOBH Spoiler Alert: Shock and Tears

4 Questions We All Asked During #RHOBH

Lisa R.: Portia Is My Spirit Animal

Eileen: Brandi Showed Us How Not to Make Amends

Yolanda: I Took One for the Team

Lisa V.: Yes, Love Is a Big Word

Kyle: Moments Like These Are Frustrating

Lisa V.: I Won't Erase the Past

Brandi: I Don't Enjoy Anger or Grudges

Eileen: I Could Feel the Tension at Kyle's

Lisa R Reflects on That Bittersweet Episode

Yolanda: These Are Teaching Moments

Kim: My Heart Felt So Big

Kyle: Kim and Monty's Relationship Is Unique

Lisa V.: I Needed an Uncomplicated Friendship

Brandi: Kim Is a Survivor

Eileen: Brooke Was a Gorgeous Bride

Lisa R.: I Couldn't Be More in My Element

Pole Dancing Isn't Just Sashaying Around

Carlton explains what she looks for in a pole dancer and thinks Joyce should stick to baseball bats.

I had my girlfriends Ancorneil, Tara, and Elizy audition dancers with me for our upcoming Americana pool party -- which we usually do every other year along with our Halloween party. When David and I have parties, it's something that we refuse to do half-arsed, otherwise we don't see the point. Our friends always leave having had a great time, there's nothing worse than a dull party, and god knows I've experienced those. Why inflict that kind of boring pain?

The girls were great, but I really needed a wow factor. My gorgeous friend Lanny made a recommendation -- and in walked Diana Diaz! I swear I heard the angels sing! Could not believe how beautiful and talented she was -- and her insane core strength. When I think of pole dancing, I don't think of sashaying around the pole. If it's done right it's a true art form that is inspiring. Anyone can spin around a pole, even me, but Diana is the real deal. She's a trained dancer and was a pole aerialist with Cirque du Soleil in Vegas and that's the kind of quality I wanted for our party. David and I were in Vegas this weekend at a club called Surrender in the Wynn Hotel and saw the same type of pole dancers literally holding themselves up with one bloody hand with their bodies extended horizontally. It was truly amazing!!!

As far as the gun scene: Waiving your personally loaded gun around like a hairbrush speaks volumes. Oh Tom, the pistol range manager, did not look happy with you as you repeatedly pointed it at him. You should honestly stick to baseball bats. There is such a thing about having respect for a gun and not thinking that you're in your own bad action movie. Guns are not a joke.

It's lovely seeing families embracing their religious traditions. It reminded me of David's grandmother Edith, who was a Russian Jew. She has now since passed, but she loved her celebrations. Every religion seems to have such interesting and unique ways of honoring, and every religion has something beautiful and positive to offer spiritually. No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, one should never be judged based upon that.

It was nice seeing Brandi with her book signing in Sacramento with the support of Yolanda and her family.  Although I don't always agree with some of the things she says I do think Brandi has a good heart and it was lovely seeing her reuniting with her Dad.

Going to the MMA gym was so much fun! Wasn't quite sure what to expect but everyone seemed to be in really good spirits. Lars was our trainer and showed Yolanda how to choke out, which was hysterical. She definitely has some major strength. He may have turned blue for a second I'm not sure.

Tamara and Lars gave us a quick demonstration. She'd kick most men's arse I think. In I went and it was so exhilarating to throw punches. The last time I was in a fight was about 17 years ago thank god, but I'd love to take one of these classes. They really are empowering. Every woman should know some basics.

I think the highlight was watching Lisa having such a fun time, she looked amazing as she snuck in a jab at Lars. And then Brandi who had some really hard punches connected badly and broke her hand. That is such a horrible pain when you break a bone and she totally hid it.

Other than that it was a surprisingly fun day, wish we had had more.

Another week done. . .Next week our wonderful Americana pool party and yet more "innocent" insults and judgements about my faith.

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Brandi: Kyle Wants to Help When There's an Audience

Brandi explains why she was trying to get Kim out of Eileen's house.

Newsflash: I'M NOT SOBER, and fantasies are just that--fantasies. I've just about HAD IT with these judgmental women that pretend to be perfect and think they do no wrong. Spa day was fine other than the uncomfortable wine tasting, but I tried to tell some jokes to loosen the mood.


Poker night...Kyle called me and asked me to bring champagne in the car for the ride over to poker night at Eileen's, and we shared one bottle. I generally drink wine, not champagne, and was feeling good. As all of my friends have pointed out to me, it's the third glass that usually takes me to the dark side. Kyle had as much to drink as I did, but it didn't seem to affect her. I guess she must have a really HIGH tolerence. Eileen's house is beautiful on the outside--and it may be a dick thing to say--but creepy on the inside in my opinion. I switched over to white wine, and while there were a few appetizers (one made with kids' frozen mini pancakes and oddly colored salmon), there really wasn't much to eat, and it was dinner time after all.

We sit to learn poker. I'm drunk and hungry, and all these smart women act like it's rocket science. It was ridiculous. Sitting next to Kim, even in my intoxicated state, I see that she isn't herself. I tried to pretend like all was fine but knew that I needed to get her out of there. Kim had been sick for weeks coughing really violently whenever I was around her, and I asked her to go to the doctor, but she said it was just bronchitis. Everyone is noticing Kim isn't herself, and Kyle and Kim go off to the restroom. As Kim came out, she wanted Kyle to leave her alone and to leave. I went over to try and help Kim get the heck out of there. Kim wanted to say goodbye before leaving for some reason, so we went in the kitchen, and I grabbed a slice of pizza, because I was starving. I try to get Kim out of Eileen's house, because it's clear to me that Kyle wants to have this bad situation play out in front of the other ladies. I don't want that to happen, so I try to get Kim to leave. 

If Kyle was so worried and embarrassed about Kim's behavior, then why wouldn't she just let me get Kim home and out of this embarrassing situation? 

Brandi Glanville

Kyle only wants to "help" Kim when Kyle has an audience. In that moment of time, Kim was not in the right state of mind or condition to have any kind of conversation or altercation, yet Kyle persisted, even going as far as getting physical and grabbing me twice, as well as breaking my skin open to keep me from removing Kim from this bad situation. So ask yourself this question: If Kyle was so worried and embarrassed about Kim's behavior, then why wouldn't she just let me get Kim home and out of this embarrassing situation? Even in my intoxicated state, I knew that was the only solution. Kyle, while planes and yachts are nice, if family is everything, how could you treat your sister Kim the way you do?  

Until next time.

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