Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Pole Dancing Isn't Just Sashaying Around

Carlton explains what she looks for in a pole dancer and thinks Joyce should stick to baseball bats.

I had my girlfriends Ancorneil, Tara, and Elizy audition dancers with me for our upcoming Americana pool party -- which we usually do every other year along with our Halloween party. When David and I have parties, it's something that we refuse to do half-arsed, otherwise we don't see the point. Our friends always leave having had a great time, there's nothing worse than a dull party, and god knows I've experienced those. Why inflict that kind of boring pain?

The girls were great, but I really needed a wow factor. My gorgeous friend Lanny made a recommendation -- and in walked Diana Diaz! I swear I heard the angels sing! Could not believe how beautiful and talented she was -- and her insane core strength. When I think of pole dancing, I don't think of sashaying around the pole. If it's done right it's a true art form that is inspiring. Anyone can spin around a pole, even me, but Diana is the real deal. She's a trained dancer and was a pole aerialist with Cirque du Soleil in Vegas and that's the kind of quality I wanted for our party. David and I were in Vegas this weekend at a club called Surrender in the Wynn Hotel and saw the same type of pole dancers literally holding themselves up with one bloody hand with their bodies extended horizontally. It was truly amazing!!!

As far as the gun scene: Waiving your personally loaded gun around like a hairbrush speaks volumes. Oh Tom, the pistol range manager, did not look happy with you as you repeatedly pointed it at him. You should honestly stick to baseball bats. There is such a thing about having respect for a gun and not thinking that you're in your own bad action movie. Guns are not a joke.

It's lovely seeing families embracing their religious traditions. It reminded me of David's grandmother Edith, who was a Russian Jew. She has now since passed, but she loved her celebrations. Every religion seems to have such interesting and unique ways of honoring, and every religion has something beautiful and positive to offer spiritually. No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, one should never be judged based upon that.

It was nice seeing Brandi with her book signing in Sacramento with the support of Yolanda and her family.  Although I don't always agree with some of the things she says I do think Brandi has a good heart and it was lovely seeing her reuniting with her Dad.

Going to the MMA gym was so much fun! Wasn't quite sure what to expect but everyone seemed to be in really good spirits. Lars was our trainer and showed Yolanda how to choke out, which was hysterical. She definitely has some major strength. He may have turned blue for a second I'm not sure.

Tamara and Lars gave us a quick demonstration. She'd kick most men's arse I think. In I went and it was so exhilarating to throw punches. The last time I was in a fight was about 17 years ago thank god, but I'd love to take one of these classes. They really are empowering. Every woman should know some basics.

I think the highlight was watching Lisa having such a fun time, she looked amazing as she snuck in a jab at Lars. And then Brandi who had some really hard punches connected badly and broke her hand. That is such a horrible pain when you break a bone and she totally hid it.

Other than that it was a surprisingly fun day, wish we had had more.

Another week done. . .Next week our wonderful Americana pool party and yet more "innocent" insults and judgements about my faith.

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Kyle: Kim and I Will Never Agree on This Matter

Kyle clarifies the Kingsley issue and responds to Brandi's most recent accusation. 

I don't want to write this blog. I didn't even want to watch this reunion, to be honest. There. I said it. But here I go....
Let's just dive right into the text message from Lisa Rinna to Kim.
I was very shocked to hear about that text. There is no excuse for that. I believe Lisa R. knows that. I can understand Kim being upset about that. I am sure she was taken aback, as we all were when we heard it. However, I don't think Lisa Rinna is a dangerous person. She just made a really bad choice.


Now onto Amsterdam and the space cake talk. Brandi went after me in Amsterdam regarding the space cake, because she doesn't like me and wanted to deflect from her own behavior once again. This was her big chance to say something about me, calling me a hypocrite for not partaking in the space cake. I have said it before, and I will say it again: I NEVER said I haven't smoked pot. I HAVE. It's just not my thing. I have a lot more fun having a few margaritas. Kim knows that. I would have appreciated her chiming in there. Also, I have NOT eaten a pot brownie or a space cake ever, and my husband had warned me that it would not suit me well, knowing my personality. You cannot gauge exactly what you're ingesting, and it wouldn't be smart. I didn't want to have a bad experience and "freak out," so to speak. Brandi herself wasn't partaking, because of her own reasons (which had to do with her divorce, as she explained), so wouldn't that make her a hypocrite then? WHY did she care if I did or did not choose to? Because she wanted to jump at the chance to make me look bad, since her behavior and her drinking had been front and center. Her drinking was out there, because she puts it out there, and she has nobody to blame but herself. If I HAD chosen to eat a space cake, she would have jumped on that, too. Anything to divert from her own actions which she was comparing to ours. All of us may have a few drinks, but NONE of us behave like her when we drink.
I only address this because it was on television. Her opinion of me is completely irrelevant to me. I only cared, because I am a mother, and her trying to make me out to be something I am not is reckless, as is everything else she does.
Ok. Enough of that. She beat that non-event to death. I think we can move on now.

Now this is the hard part...Kim and I had not spoken since Nov 1st. We both knew the situation with my daughter, Alexia, and Kim's dog, Kingsley, was bound to come up at the reunion. We don't get to pick and choose what we want to talk about.
Alexia had spent the night at Kim's house on Halloween. The next morning, Kingsley bit her. While scary, at first it didn't seem that serious. However, what the first doctor failed to notice was that the tooth had pierced the bone and also broken it. Five days later, we found out that her bone was infected and she needed surgery to clean out the bone. Kim was upset, because I had posted pictures from the hospital. Like I said at the reunion, I NEVER said her dog bit Alexia. Never mentioned her OR her dog. TMZ ended up finding out that it was Kim's dog, and she blamed me, because I posted the pictures from the hospital. I did not do that to hurt my sister in any way or to "get Instagram followers," like she suggested. With all of my family coming and going at the hospital, people were bound to find out and talk.


We were all with Alexia at the hospital trying to distract her and have fun. As any mother would do. We were all trying to make the best out of a bad situation. We invited family and friends to visit and tried to keep her spirits up. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't posted that picture, but I certainly didn't mean to hurt Kim. She posted a picture when she was in the hospital this year. Yolanda and Camille have done so regularly. And where is her responsibility in all of this? However, I do feel bad about what it has led to. And I've told her that. I also felt terrible because I know she loves Kingsley, but I also love my child. It was a difficult time for all involved. I didn't blame Kim personally regarding the dog and was willing to drop it and move forward, yet she was too angry with me regarding the Instagram post to be able to do that.
I wish that since I was willing to let go of my anger regarding my daughter being bit and what she had to go through that she could have let go of being upset about the Instagram post. I HAVE to believe she knows I did NOT do that to hurt her.
For Kim to throw out that she would say something about Alexia ( like she did to Lisa R. regarding Harry ) nearly took my breath away. But her dog is off limits?
So there you have it.
I don't even know what to say or do anymore. Clearly, we will never agree on this matter. And now we have more issues to work through, like my hurt and anger over Kim threatening to say something about my child. I know she loves Alexia, and it was just her being angry and "in the moment," but it's going to take me some time to get past that. All I know is I am glad I don't have to relive all of this again on TV. Now I need to take a step back .
Hopefully, time will heal my relationship with Kim. Time and having an open and honest relationship.
It's been a very difficult season. That's for sure. Thank you all for watching.
XO,
Kyle

P.S
Some things I would like to clear up:

A) I NEVER asked for Kingsley to be put down. I love all animals and know how much Kim loves Kingsley. That was never part of our argument.

B) Brooke's wedding : Brooke did a small ceremony at my sister Kathy's house (part of it aired this season), so that Monty would be well enough to walk her down the aisle. The wedding we were referring to at the reunion is her actual "big wedding " coming up. And NO, I did not do anything "unspeakable" or "unforgivable" at the wedding at Kathy's house like Brandi has (once again) put out there. It was a beautiful, perfect day that Brandi Glanville is now trying to throw negativity on. She was NOT EVEN THERE. On top of everything else Brandi has done, she now wants to turn that beautiful day that my family celebrated into something to lie and gossip about. Shame on her.

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