Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Pole Dancing Isn't Just Sashaying Around

Carlton explains what she looks for in a pole dancer and thinks Joyce should stick to baseball bats.

I had my girlfriends Ancorneil, Tara, and Elizy audition dancers with me for our upcoming Americana pool party -- which we usually do every other year along with our Halloween party. When David and I have parties, it's something that we refuse to do half-arsed, otherwise we don't see the point. Our friends always leave having had a great time, there's nothing worse than a dull party, and god knows I've experienced those. Why inflict that kind of boring pain?

The girls were great, but I really needed a wow factor. My gorgeous friend Lanny made a recommendation -- and in walked Diana Diaz! I swear I heard the angels sing! Could not believe how beautiful and talented she was -- and her insane core strength. When I think of pole dancing, I don't think of sashaying around the pole. If it's done right it's a true art form that is inspiring. Anyone can spin around a pole, even me, but Diana is the real deal. She's a trained dancer and was a pole aerialist with Cirque du Soleil in Vegas and that's the kind of quality I wanted for our party. David and I were in Vegas this weekend at a club called Surrender in the Wynn Hotel and saw the same type of pole dancers literally holding themselves up with one bloody hand with their bodies extended horizontally. It was truly amazing!!!

As far as the gun scene: Waiving your personally loaded gun around like a hairbrush speaks volumes. Oh Tom, the pistol range manager, did not look happy with you as you repeatedly pointed it at him. You should honestly stick to baseball bats. There is such a thing about having respect for a gun and not thinking that you're in your own bad action movie. Guns are not a joke.

It's lovely seeing families embracing their religious traditions. It reminded me of David's grandmother Edith, who was a Russian Jew. She has now since passed, but she loved her celebrations. Every religion seems to have such interesting and unique ways of honoring, and every religion has something beautiful and positive to offer spiritually. No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs are, one should never be judged based upon that.

It was nice seeing Brandi with her book signing in Sacramento with the support of Yolanda and her family.  Although I don't always agree with some of the things she says I do think Brandi has a good heart and it was lovely seeing her reuniting with her Dad.

Going to the MMA gym was so much fun! Wasn't quite sure what to expect but everyone seemed to be in really good spirits. Lars was our trainer and showed Yolanda how to choke out, which was hysterical. She definitely has some major strength. He may have turned blue for a second I'm not sure.

Tamara and Lars gave us a quick demonstration. She'd kick most men's arse I think. In I went and it was so exhilarating to throw punches. The last time I was in a fight was about 17 years ago thank god, but I'd love to take one of these classes. They really are empowering. Every woman should know some basics.

I think the highlight was watching Lisa having such a fun time, she looked amazing as she snuck in a jab at Lars. And then Brandi who had some really hard punches connected badly and broke her hand. That is such a horrible pain when you break a bone and she totally hid it.

Other than that it was a surprisingly fun day, wish we had had more.

Another week done. . .Next week our wonderful Americana pool party and yet more "innocent" insults and judgements about my faith.

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Eileen: Trouble Is Brewing

Eileen discusses Adrienne's party and gives us an idea for a new drinking game.

This week, we’re all back home and the dust is settling. Sort of.

It broke my heart seeing Lisa R., Harry, and their girls take down their swing set! When we did the same with Jesse we felt that way. It’s such a powerful symbol of growing up and I think it’s so sweet that they celebrated the new chapter in their lives in that way.

I’m excited to go to Adrienne’s party! I wanted to have fun and enjoy a night out with my husband and friends. The party is beautiful, and Adrienne is a fantastic hostess. I was hoping to get to know her better but that was not to be. Trouble is brewing. Like I said in last week’s blog, maybe Lisa R. shouldn’t have approached Kyle about what Brandi said so soon after Amsterdam. But then again, we’ve already seen the worst, right? In Amsterdam? I hope?

Sure enough Kim confronts Lisa R. about what Brandi said during their lunch. Lisa is reticent, and understandably so, to discuss this. She’s dodging the issue, but maybe just saying what she said to Kyle would help everybody stop playing these games! Lisa R. being vague is not helping the situation and Kim leaves, apparently thinking that Kyle lied about it. Yolanda, Lisa V., Kyle, and I try to make Lisa understand she has to tell Kim what Brandi said. She gets it, and God bless her, she does go to talk to Kim. And when she does? Kim is dismissive and doesn’t want to hear it! OMG! Well, this is the definition of a lose/lose situation for everybody! Now, I’m just exhausted from even witnessing this. No one is listening or being honest, and it will never get resolved at this rate.

I think Brandi is having a bit of a memory problem about what was discussed.

Eileen Davidson

Brandi is clearly distraught about her father’s health. Now is not the time to have emotionally charged conversations with anybody. I see Lisa V. trying to help, but the drama is so high right now, it doesn’t seem to be calming anything down. Brandi keeps insisting she’s fine, when clearly she’s not. Maybe she shouldn’t have come to this party, at all, under the circumstances?

Kim and Brandi finally sit down. Kim tells Brandi what Kyle said Lisa R. said. I think Brandi is having a bit of a memory problem about what was discussed. The bottom line is if she had told Kim everything that she said to Lisa R. during their lunch, that major blow-up probably never would have happened in Amsterdam. And Kim? Well, she doesn’t seem to want to do any digging at all into what Brandi really, entirely said and just gives her a big fat pass. Now, Lisa R. is apologizing AGAIN. WHY, people, WHY? I propose a Real Housewives Drinking Game: take a shot every time Lisa R. unnecessarily apologizes to Brandi and Kim (and you better have a designated driver, because you’ll be really, really drunk).

It’s the end of the night and the end of this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. What a journey it has been. I’ve made some good friends, had lots of adventures, lots of laughs, and, frankly, witnessed way too many fights. It surely has been one hell of a ride! And one I will not soon forget.

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