Cast Blog: #RHOBH

How Dare Brandi Put Black People in a Box

Joyce can't believe Brandi's bullying or Yolanda's bad behavior in Palm Springs.

Hola Mis Amores! This week we lost an amazing human being and one of my idols: Nelson Mandela! He will forever live in our hearts and in the history of our world as someone who showed us that if we persevere, no dream is too big to achieve and that it's NEVER about color! We should NEVER EVER judge or segregate anyone because of the color of his or her skin, which leads me to this week's episode. . .

This episode was really tough to watch but even tougher to live. Kyle was right when she said in the previous episode that I didn't know what I was in for with this group. Call me sweet, innocent, or simply naive, but when I invited the girls to Palm Springs I really thought we could move past all the silly drama and have a great girls' trip. It's usually hard for me to leave my beautiful babies, so if I plan a small getaway, I'm hoping to relax and have a great time. Otherwise, I'd much rather be home with my little munchkins.

At the beginning of the episode you met my beautiful friends Kinga and Kim. We all love fashion and playing dress up. Usually my closet is our meeting point LOL. Kinga is very sweet and has amazing style. Kim is one of my dearest friends, and I LOVE HER! I've known her for more than 10 years, and she's always been the same. She is cool, bad ass, yet classy at the same time. She is the Number 1 female bodyguard in the world, and I'm extremely proud of her!

When I picked Kim and Kyle up I thought the trip was going to be amazing. We were off to a great start as we had fun and were able to bond on our long ride. Kim told us about Kimberly leaving for school and how proud she is of her. We all shared some tears. I love Kim's relationship with her daughters and her son.

I was feeling very relaxed and happy as we arrived at the gorgeous Colony 29 in Palm Springs, which is very artsy with amazing landscapes. Michael (my hubby) and the owner of Colony 29 were kind enough to organize everything for us.

When the rest of the ladies arrived, I greeted them all with a beautiful Wildfox bag and sunglasses in case any of them forgot theirs. I wanted to be a good host and for them all to enjoy the weekend, which is why it's so hard to see all the bickering and negativity.

After the ladies picked their rooms (which were all beautiful and not "maids' quarters" like Brandi said), I offered them to share my room if they preferred to be in the main house, but they all seemed content in their rooms. Yolanda and Lisa were sharing a room and Carlton and Brandi decided to sleep together.

Once that was settled, we all decided to go to the pool. After getting drinks for the ladies, I wanted to work on my tan and simply enjoy the beautiful nature when Brandi decided that her "mission" was to get me in the pool. I took off my dress just to support her, because she said she didn't want to be the only one in a bikini. Then she started calling me Jacqueline, which as I said, is a beautiful name -- but it's not my name. I thought it was an honest mistake from her as by then I've known her for a while and she's always called me by my name. That's why I corrected her nicely and didn't take it personal.

She then continued with her peer pressure in her pursuit of getting me into the pool. I was quite shocked when Yolanda joined her as she always tries to act and proclaim that she is a "girl's girl." With all due respect, in my book that is NOT the behavior of a girl's girl. And FYI Yolanda, I don't know about you, but I've never heard that etiquette states that you must do everything your guests want you to do in order to be a good host. I've never heard that if you don't jump into a pool you are considered a bad host, and no, I am not afraid of being without makeup -- as we clearly saw in the previous episode.

However, none of the peer pressure was as bad as Brandi's racial remarks. How dare she put black people in a box!

Puerto Ricans are a mix of African, Spanish, and Indian. My great grandmother was black. So yes, I'm proud to say I'm a mix and very proud of my African lineage as well! But even if I didn't have it in my blood I would still not tolerate her racial remarks. She stereotypes and labels because I tell her I can't swim (which I do swim but like a puppy). And FYI, one of the best swimmers in the world is black! He is a gold medalist and his name is Cullen Jones.

It was extremely difficult for me to keep my cool, so I retreated to my room, took a bath and tried to get zen as I was not going to attack Brandi in a place where I invited her. After a bit of meditation I was feeling positive and thought maybe it was just a bad start and that things would look up after the delicious meal the chef was preparing.

One thing I HAVE to clarify is that when Carlton was talking about her Wiccan beliefs in the pool, I was very respectful and supportive because I firmly believe that we must all respect every religion and that we can all be happy and believe in whatever we want to believe as long as we respect each other. When I said, "That's silly, I have a God that is more powerful than any witch in the world," I was referring to Kim saying she was scared of the Wiccan and Witchcraft stuff, so I thought it was silly for her to be scared. That being said, I can proudly say that I am a Christian, and I believe in Jesus Christ! And I can yell it out to the world! My God is so powerful that he will protect me against any negativity!

Before dinner we all had cocktails outside, and I thought things were better. Brandi was talking about very private things that I won’t mention here because you should hear them from her the first time. Since she was being so open with such private matters, I thought we could move forward and have a beautiful dinner until Brandi decided to start calling me Jacqueline again, and it all went downhill from there. She was simply disrespectful!

"Joyce is a big fat pig". . .Seriously? Brandi decides I should be Jacqueline because "Joyce is an ugly name that should only be for old or fat pigs." Her behavior is so childish that I don't even know how to comment on that.

Then, when I'm sharing with the ladies a project I worked on and am very proud of (which is what a girls' dinner should be about), they began to act dismissive, like horrible, jealous girls. What happened to Carlton's saying that women should be supportive of each other? I believe at girls' dinner that girls should talk about the things going on in their lives and have fun and lift each other up. We should not attack one another or be vicious just for the hell of it. I guess in this group, if it's not negative, it's not important.

Thank God I had a nice and sane girl next to me that defended me. This was the moment when I really thought Kyle was a good friend to me because that's what friends do; they stand up for you and have your back when everyone else is trying to push you down, which is exactly why I tried to interfere when Brandi and Yolanda were ganging up on her. Kyle was almost crying, and Yolanda would NOT let go! Come on! If you are a "girl's girl," learn to agree to disagree. You DON'T need to beat someone until you make her cry! And FYI, it is BAD ETIQUETTE to tell your host to shut up.

My only intention was to bring everybody together and for all of them to have a great, fun time without any exclusions. Whenever I invite somebody I make sure they are taken care of, and I will not attack them or bring them down because THAT would be being a bad host. On the flip side, the only thing I would like to expect is that you don’t come to a beautiful weekend with a clear mission to create a fight; after all, nobody forced anyone to accept the invitation. The right thing to do would've been to politely decline the invite versus ruining a few days of rest from our busy lives.

I don't want you all to lose hope and think that it's all negative. I still tried to make it work for the remainder of our trip. I know a lot of people might think I give too many passes and maybe too often give others "the benefit of the doubt," but that's just me.

Thanks for supporting the show and thank you for all your love!

xo
Joyce

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Brandi: You Can't Confirm What Didn't Happen

Brandi questions some of the ladies' motives, plus gives an interesting update on her relationship with LeAnn. 

Hey, My Bravoistas!

I’m in my American Airlines' seat 36 hours later, flying back home from NYC, thankful to be on a safe path home. My prayers go out to the families and loved ones of the downed German airliner in the French Alps this morning. I cannot imagine the pain being experienced by these families at this moment, which shockingly has led me to add a new person into my flight prayer today...my children’s stepmom. Don’t get me wrong--not everything is yet copasetic, but my children love her, so she is now in the “flight prayer,” differences aside. Now on a happier RHOBH note, last night’s WWHL with Andy was sooooo fun! No drama for once!

NEWS FLASH! Please watch for my new Sonoma County Chardonnay “Unfiltered Blonde,” to launch in April!

As I look over this past season, all I can say is it’s been an odd one. There were so many fun moments that got lost in the drama and so many weeks of fun you never saw at all. I wish you had, but I'm not in control of everything we get to see. I’d like to remember having fun with Kim “stalking” my now boyfriend J.R. That was such a crazy fun girls' night, Lisa R. being chased by killer bees, Yolanda and her Facetime confusion and meeting her family for the second time this--time in Holland, the Foster Foundation Extravaganza, “singing” at Lisa V.’s birthday party, and Kyle pretending to be a caring sister and owning yachts and planes…haha.
Ok, I’ll behave.

Here we are at the last episode of the season, yet, it seems most are still stuck in the beginning. I wish we weren’t, and I would dearly like to leave “Poker Night” behind. However, one person continues to make it the focal point of every interaction from when it happened and far into the three-part reunion.

This episode opens with Rinna tearing down a swing set, but her home interviews are still about what she perceives as Kim’s issues to be, not the actual touching moment of what the swing set tear-down symbolizes or her own family (I can't wait for her daughters to write their Brooke Shields-style memoir when they are age appropriate). LR says she feels sorry for Kim and cares about Kim and wishes Kim well. The truth is a lot less pretty. Some people have been attacking Kim’s sobriety online this week, but we won’t name names. BTW, Kim is sober and not online. She is busy caring for serious ill family members and driving back and forth to doctors and hospitals and being strong for her family.

Next we see Nicky Hilton’s book signing--sister Paris and mom Kathy Hilton are there. Looks like a great party and congrats to Nicky on her style book. Camille looks gorgeous as usual. Kyle angrily flips her hair, because Kim was wearing a shirt that she carries at “her” shop, but didn’t buy it there...whatever. Then Kyle whispers about her sister Kim to Lisa V. and Camille.
Kyle then tells them she is confused and impatient that Kim hasn’t confronted me over her third-hand Lisa R. gossip. She states Kim WILL be hurt and broken hearted over what “I” said… Kyle seems way too overy excited about that happening, which I find kind creepy. Why would anyone WANT their sister to be hurt or in pain?!

The preparations for Adrienne’s party are in full swing next. Lisa V. is fretting it, Kim is casually discussing the intervention GOSSIP with her makeup artist before the party, I’m getting ready and waiting for my friends and my date.

Adrienne’s party is the big finale of our journey this year. Everyone is there, and Adrienne always excels at events. So here we go. First off, my mind was not on the party at all. My father was recently hospitalized, and I didn’t leave his side for two weeks. It was very serious, but I had to return home to my boys. He was still not conscious, but I needed to get home to run my household--a party was the last place I wanted to be, but I had promised. That’s why I decided to bring the few people that I felt I could depend on in that moment. My friends and J.R. have been there for me during my father’s health scare and over more then a month of hospitalization--that was and is what remains what’s important to me.

The party seems like it was fun for a lot of people who weren’t involved in Kyle and Lisa. R.’s drama. I wish I were one of them, but in a way I was. As much as Kyle relished telling Kim the hurtful gossip she heard from LR, what she wanted to happen didn’t happen. There was no argument between Kim and I. We were happy to see each other. We spoke easily. I was busy worrying about my Dad; she was busy with her family.

What we saw on the finale was an efficient Kim quietly confronting Lisa R., then leaving Lisa R.'s table somewhat amused. Lisa R. couldn’t confirm the veracity of her gossip, because I DIDN’T SAY IT. Thanks again to Bravo for showing the truth in a flashback last week.

So, Kim knew who was who and what was what. The entertainment of the night was provided by Lisa R. going radio silent while Kyle begged for corroboration on her dramatic intervention gossip. Watching Yolanda, Eileen, and Lisa V. urge Lisa R. to support Kyle and verify her hurtful gossip was almost amusing. You can't confirm what didn't happen, can you?

In the end, I left the party early. Why? Not because of a past friendship with Lisa V. It's not her that made me cry--I was crying for my father, my dad! I was in no place to be at a superficial party, discussing a superficial incident with a person who was clearly not a friend, not that night. I said I would show up, and I did. After that, I wanted to be with my real close friends and family. Since this party my dad came out of the ICU and after 2 entire months and after a long stressful time I want to thank Dr. Allen Morris and all the doctors and nurses at Mercy General Hospital of Sacramento for saving my dad's life yet agin for the second time in 15 years. He is doing much better and continuing his hope of a full recovery. I am so thankful to all the people who were there for me and continue to be here for my family and I.

THAT is what life’s about, being with the people who truly love and care about you and the feelings are reciprocated.

As you hear, at the end of the finale, I am wistful, yet, wiser, and I think in a stronger place. I love and loved being there for Kim and being Kim’s friend, and I love that she was, is, and has been here for me. Even more so, I'm grateful and blessed to have Yolanda in my life; she is no bullsh--. Even when suffering herself, she is still so selfless. Yo is very special to me, I love her, she gets me, we have fun together, and I value every moment we spend together. I always will. As for the rest, I hope to share laughs and fun again, maybe tears, but hopefully only joy.

Peace Out. (deuces MFs--JK)

XOXO,

B

Please, please consider making a donation, small or large to help a special child’s “wish” come true. It’s just such an incredibly special cause so dear to my heart.

I’ll be walking. Come and join me.

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Los Angeles Website of Make-A-Wish 

 

 

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