How Dare Brandi Put Black People in a Box
Joyce can't believe Brandi's bullying or Yolanda's bad behavior in Palm Springs.
Hola Mis Amores! This week we lost an amazing human being and one of my idols: Nelson Mandela! He will forever live in our hearts and in the history of our world as someone who showed us that if we persevere, no dream is too big to achieve and that it's NEVER about color! We should NEVER EVER judge or segregate anyone because of the color of his or her skin, which leads me to this week's episode. . .
This episode was really tough to watch but even tougher to live. Kyle was right when she said in the previous episode that I didn't know what I was in for with this group. Call me sweet, innocent, or simply naive, but when I invited the girls to Palm Springs I really thought we could move past all the silly drama and have a great girls' trip. It's usually hard for me to leave my beautiful babies, so if I plan a small getaway, I'm hoping to relax and have a great time. Otherwise, I'd much rather be home with my little munchkins.
At the beginning of the episode you met my beautiful friends Kinga and Kim. We all love fashion and playing dress up. Usually my closet is our meeting point LOL. Kinga is very sweet and has amazing style. Kim is one of my dearest friends, and I LOVE HER! I've known her for more than 10 years, and she's always been the same. She is cool, bad ass, yet classy at the same time. She is the Number 1 female bodyguard in the world, and I'm extremely proud of her!
When I picked Kim and Kyle up I thought the trip was going to be amazing. We were off to a great start as we had fun and were able to bond on our long ride. Kim told us about Kimberly leaving for school and how proud she is of her. We all shared some tears. I love Kim's relationship with her daughters and her son.
I was feeling very relaxed and happy as we arrived at the gorgeous Colony 29 in Palm Springs, which is very artsy with amazing landscapes. Michael (my hubby) and the owner of Colony 29 were kind enough to organize everything for us.
When the rest of the ladies arrived, I greeted them all with a beautiful Wildfox bag and sunglasses in case any of them forgot theirs. I wanted to be a good host and for them all to enjoy the weekend, which is why it's so hard to see all the bickering and negativity.
After the ladies picked their rooms (which were all beautiful and not "maids' quarters" like Brandi said), I offered them to share my room if they preferred to be in the main house, but they all seemed content in their rooms. Yolanda and Lisa were sharing a room and Carlton and Brandi decided to sleep together.
Once that was settled, we all decided to go to the pool. After getting drinks for the ladies, I wanted to work on my tan and simply enjoy the beautiful nature when Brandi decided that her "mission" was to get me in the pool. I took off my dress just to support her, because she said she didn't want to be the only one in a bikini. Then she started calling me Jacqueline, which as I said, is a beautiful name -- but it's not my name. I thought it was an honest mistake from her as by then I've known her for a while and she's always called me by my name. That's why I corrected her nicely and didn't take it personal.
She then continued with her peer pressure in her pursuit of getting me into the pool. I was quite shocked when Yolanda joined her as she always tries to act and proclaim that she is a "girl's girl." With all due respect, in my book that is NOT the behavior of a girl's girl. And FYI Yolanda, I don't know about you, but I've never heard that etiquette states that you must do everything your guests want you to do in order to be a good host. I've never heard that if you don't jump into a pool you are considered a bad host, and no, I am not afraid of being without makeup -- as we clearly saw in the previous episode.
However, none of the peer pressure was as bad as Brandi's racial remarks. How dare she put black people in a box!
Puerto Ricans are a mix of African, Spanish, and Indian. My great grandmother was black. So yes, I'm proud to say I'm a mix and very proud of my African lineage as well! But even if I didn't have it in my blood I would still not tolerate her racial remarks. She stereotypes and labels because I tell her I can't swim (which I do swim but like a puppy). And FYI, one of the best swimmers in the world is black! He is a gold medalist and his name is Cullen Jones.
It was extremely difficult for me to keep my cool, so I retreated to my room, took a bath and tried to get zen as I was not going to attack Brandi in a place where I invited her. After a bit of meditation I was feeling positive and thought maybe it was just a bad start and that things would look up after the delicious meal the chef was preparing.
One thing I HAVE to clarify is that when Carlton was talking about her Wiccan beliefs in the pool, I was very respectful and supportive because I firmly believe that we must all respect every religion and that we can all be happy and believe in whatever we want to believe as long as we respect each other. When I said, "That's silly, I have a God that is more powerful than any witch in the world," I was referring to Kim saying she was scared of the Wiccan and Witchcraft stuff, so I thought it was silly for her to be scared. That being said, I can proudly say that I am a Christian, and I believe in Jesus Christ! And I can yell it out to the world! My God is so powerful that he will protect me against any negativity!
Before dinner we all had cocktails outside, and I thought things were better. Brandi was talking about very private things that I won’t mention here because you should hear them from her the first time. Since she was being so open with such private matters, I thought we could move forward and have a beautiful dinner until Brandi decided to start calling me Jacqueline again, and it all went downhill from there. She was simply disrespectful!
"Joyce is a big fat pig". . .Seriously? Brandi decides I should be Jacqueline because "Joyce is an ugly name that should only be for old or fat pigs." Her behavior is so childish that I don't even know how to comment on that.
Then, when I'm sharing with the ladies a project I worked on and am very proud of (which is what a girls' dinner should be about), they began to act dismissive, like horrible, jealous girls. What happened to Carlton's saying that women should be supportive of each other? I believe at girls' dinner that girls should talk about the things going on in their lives and have fun and lift each other up. We should not attack one another or be vicious just for the hell of it. I guess in this group, if it's not negative, it's not important.
Thank God I had a nice and sane girl next to me that defended me. This was the moment when I really thought Kyle was a good friend to me because that's what friends do; they stand up for you and have your back when everyone else is trying to push you down, which is exactly why I tried to interfere when Brandi and Yolanda were ganging up on her. Kyle was almost crying, and Yolanda would NOT let go! Come on! If you are a "girl's girl," learn to agree to disagree. You DON'T need to beat someone until you make her cry! And FYI, it is BAD ETIQUETTE to tell your host to shut up.
My only intention was to bring everybody together and for all of them to have a great, fun time without any exclusions. Whenever I invite somebody I make sure they are taken care of, and I will not attack them or bring them down because THAT would be being a bad host. On the flip side, the only thing I would like to expect is that you don’t come to a beautiful weekend with a clear mission to create a fight; after all, nobody forced anyone to accept the invitation. The right thing to do would've been to politely decline the invite versus ruining a few days of rest from our busy lives.
I don't want you all to lose hope and think that it's all negative. I still tried to make it work for the remainder of our trip. I know a lot of people might think I give too many passes and maybe too often give others "the benefit of the doubt," but that's just me.
Thanks for supporting the show and thank you for all your love!