Cast Blog: #RHOBH

Joyce: Brandi Was Habitually Cruel

Joyce explains why she does think Brandi needs rehab but why she does not think Brandi is a racist.

Hola mis amores! I hope you all had great New Year and I hope that 2014 is a fantastic year for all of you! May this year be filled with health, happiness, success and most importantly: LOTS OF LOVE!

I would love to start the new year with a clean slate, but you all know we have to comment on what we've seen in the episode so here we go. . .

In tonight's episode we continue with the dinner from hell. I'm sure you all know this was a longer dinner than what you've seen and it is a difficult task to compact many hours of footage into a one hour episode.

The entire table was defending and making excuses for Brandi's behavior, and while I do find it admirable to stand up for your friends, true friends also stand up when someone is being attacked for no reason. Being a good friend doesn't mean you have to always agree with someones bad behavior.

I was blessed to have my loving husband who is my best friend with me at the dinner, otherwise it would have been me alone against a group of people condoning Brandi's attacks. Of course my husband will always have my back. Although he is known for his strong opinions, he did actually not intervene during our conversation at the beginning, not even when Brandi brought up her mutual friend attack. He knows I can defend myself very well. But when Brandi started calling me "stupid" and continued the "f--- yous" at me, he could not tolerate it any longer. You might agree or disagree with me here, but I would not expect any less from my partner.

You heard me say I thought Brandi needed rehab, and unfortunately I do stand by that. I have nothing against drinking. I love to have drinks with my friends, and I enjoy a nice wine with my husband. But when you are a person of public interest and it comes to the point that you are conducting yourself drunk multiple times in front of TV cameras and you have to witness a paparazzi documentation of your behavior, it's time to wake up and reevaluate if you are just having fun with friends or if you have a legitimate problem.

Even though at dinner, Yolanda condoned Brandi's behavior and tried to make excuses for her, I think after our conversation she understood my point. It was great to see her doing the intervention with her friend Brandi.

Although I do believe Brandi needs help, the night of the SUR dinner she was not drunk. She was just plain vicious. Some people say the word "bully" is too strong of a word for her. If it is, I apologize. The reality is there were uncountable moments in this season when I felt bullied by her.

Let's simply look into the definition of "bully" and you decide for yourself:

1. A person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.

In my opinion, Brandi was being habitually cruel to me. She did believe I was the weaker person, as I was the newcomer in this group and was supposed to just eat it up. Brandi was convinced I was going to be a dumb wallflower that would sit back and take her abuse. Some people say adults cant be bullied. I work with an anti-bullying campaign and unfortunately bullying is not something that is only among children. I believe it is our social responsibility to stand up against this.

And again, I don't want to use the term "bully" lightly. Hopefully we can retire it from the vocabulary in the new year. But it might be a good enough moment to bring awareness to this very topic. At the end we are (and this includes Brandi) role models to many fans of the show, including many young viewers and certainly our own children. Tell a kid in a schoolyard that he is not being bullied when a someone else repeatedly tells him he has to do something and his posse joins in on the "fun." Tell a kid at the playground he is not being bullied when another child repeatedly calls him by the wrong name just to press his buttons and upset him. Tell that kid that the one who attacks him for no reason and hurts his feelings, makes fun of his language or ethnicity, and tells him the name given by his parents is the name of a big fat pig is not "bullying" him.

Sorry but if anyone did that to my children I would not be OK with it! And I am sure that Brandi would not be OK with behavior like that towards her beautiful boys.

I am not a kid (although sometimes this has felt like the Beverly Hills Schoolyard). I am not a wallflower. I am not a victim -- but I simply did not have a better term for Brandi to ingrain into her brain that what she had done to me was wrong and hurtful and needed to stop.

I pray to God that people out there learn that it is not OK to attack someone multiple times and get away with it just because they think it's funny. I understand a good joke and can laugh about it. I did at the beginning with Brandi, as you remember. But a repeated joke at the expense of someone's feelings stops being funny very quickly.

I was raised by a single mother who did everything in her power to give me and my brother everything she could. Even though some might think I was raised "poor," I felt very rich. I had all the love in the world, and that was more important than a big house or fancy clothes. I wish you could see more of my conversations than the superficial beauty queen stuff you've seen so far. As you heard me say to Kyle in the episode, I think Brandi is a gorgeous girl and if she is lonely or miserable its only because she wants to be. No man would want to spend the rest of his life surrounded by someone so negative and mean.

And unfortunately as I told Kyle, by now Brandi has three very predictable steps:

1. She plans a vicious attack
2. She goes on "f--- you" rants when confronted
3. When she realizes she is wrong she plays the victim and starts crying

I've seen her do that to other people, but now I lived it first hand. It's hard for me to have pity for someone like that. She always uses the "I'm a single mother. Poor me" Card.

My mom was a single mother who had three jobs to support us. Brandi is in the top percentile of the world. She lives a blessed life. Has a beautiful home, a car, money to support a great lifestyle, can buy whatever she wants and has two gorgeous boys. There are mothers out there who are struggling to pay rent and put food on their children's table. Start counting your blessings and stop playing the victim. How difficult can her year have been? While I feel very sorry that she lost Chica, she is a best selling author, is on a hit show, and got a new home. . .Is life really that bad?

Regarding me calling Brandi a racist: I dont want to call her a racist any longer, as long as she admits that her behavior and her remarks have, in fact, been racist. Saying I'm like a black person because I can't swim, saying all black girls have a weave, saying I need to shut the f--- up with my Spanish language or go to Miami, saying "fill this up before I kill a Puerto Rican," telling a foreigner to go back to wherever the f--- they came from -- these are the things you have seen, but the list goes on. So as long as we all agree that she has made many insensitive racial remarks. . . then I will stop calling her a racist.

I agree with some people thinking I might be annoying because I touch my hair too much. Trust me! I hate it myself! I think it's my nervous tick. . .I am really trying to work on it. LOL.

And as I've always said, I'm not a $100 bill for everyone to like, and I know I am the new girl -- but all I asked from this group was a fair chance. Unfortunately at the beginning I didn't get it from some of the ladies.

After the SUR fiasco finally Lisa gave me a chance. She invited me to her home and I happily accepted her invitation as I had always liked her. She is a stunning and elegant woman from whom I could learn a lot -- I love to learn from my girlfriends.

When I arrived at Lisa's beautiful home, I was very happy that we could finally have a one-on-one conversation and she could see where I was coming from. She could see the whole "Hairgate" thing was silly and taken out of proportion. She saw that she needed to stop making excuses for her friend Brandi and "chastising" (a new word I learned from Lisa) her behavior.

I'm not embarrassed to admit that Spanish is my first language and I learn on a daily basis. My mother speaks very bad English and is very shy about speaking it; so she forced my brother and myself to watch TV only in English and that's how we learned. I confess that I still think in Spanish and sometimes there are lots of words that I don't understand. I'm not embarrassed by it as we are never too old to learn.

This is the moment when Lisa and I started to get to know each other, and I can happily say that right now we are in a great place.

Now to my favorite part of tonight's episode...I loved seeing Carlton with her children, they are truly precious. I think she looks like a fun and great mother and I would've loved to see this side of her more firsthand.

I also enjoy seeing Kim and Kingsley! He's cute!!!!

But the part I enjoyed the most is Kyle's charity event. I applaud Kyle and Mauricio for their incredibly generous contribution to the Children's Hospital. I love them! This is what it's all about -- especially when we are in the position of having such a great platform. We all have to learn how to give back in life and how to help the less fortunate. Even if sometimes the things we do to help might seem small, with many people doing something small, it turns into something big.

During the fashion show you could see my wonderful friend Laimarie (who I LOVE) and my Queen of the Universe Ivette, who has been an amazing girl to work with during this year of her reign. She loved doing all the charity we do together. And while I believe she is gorgeous externally, she is even prettier on the inside.

Until next week! I send you all a big kiss and again, Thank you for your support
xoxo

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Kyle: Kim and I Will Never Agree on This Matter

Kyle clarifies the Kingsley issue and responds to Brandi's most recent accusation. 

I don't want to write this blog. I didn't even want to watch this reunion, to be honest. There. I said it. But here I go....
Let's just dive right into the text message from Lisa Rinna to Kim.
I was very shocked to hear about that text. There is no excuse for that. I believe Lisa R. knows that. I can understand Kim being upset about that. I am sure she was taken aback, as we all were when we heard it. However, I don't think Lisa Rinna is a dangerous person. She just made a really bad choice.


Now onto Amsterdam and the space cake talk. Brandi went after me in Amsterdam regarding the space cake, because she doesn't like me and wanted to deflect from her own behavior once again. This was her big chance to say something about me, calling me a hypocrite for not partaking in the space cake. I have said it before, and I will say it again: I NEVER said I haven't smoked pot. I HAVE. It's just not my thing. I have a lot more fun having a few margaritas. Kim knows that. I would have appreciated her chiming in there. Also, I have NOT eaten a pot brownie or a space cake ever, and my husband had warned me that it would not suit me well, knowing my personality. You cannot gauge exactly what you're ingesting, and it wouldn't be smart. I didn't want to have a bad experience and "freak out," so to speak. Brandi herself wasn't partaking, because of her own reasons (which had to do with her divorce, as she explained), so wouldn't that make her a hypocrite then? WHY did she care if I did or did not choose to? Because she wanted to jump at the chance to make me look bad, since her behavior and her drinking had been front and center. Her drinking was out there, because she puts it out there, and she has nobody to blame but herself. If I HAD chosen to eat a space cake, she would have jumped on that, too. Anything to divert from her own actions which she was comparing to ours. All of us may have a few drinks, but NONE of us behave like her when we drink.
I only address this because it was on television. Her opinion of me is completely irrelevant to me. I only cared, because I am a mother, and her trying to make me out to be something I am not is reckless, as is everything else she does.
Ok. Enough of that. She beat that non-event to death. I think we can move on now.

Now this is the hard part...Kim and I had not spoken since Nov 1st. We both knew the situation with my daughter, Alexia, and Kim's dog, Kingsley, was bound to come up at the reunion. We don't get to pick and choose what we want to talk about.
Alexia had spent the night at Kim's house on Halloween. The next morning, Kingsley bit her. While scary, at first it didn't seem that serious. However, what the first doctor failed to notice was that the tooth had pierced the bone and also broken it. Five days later, we found out that her bone was infected and she needed surgery to clean out the bone. Kim was upset, because I had posted pictures from the hospital. Like I said at the reunion, I NEVER said her dog bit Alexia. Never mentioned her OR her dog. TMZ ended up finding out that it was Kim's dog, and she blamed me, because I posted the pictures from the hospital. I did not do that to hurt my sister in any way or to "get Instagram followers," like she suggested. With all of my family coming and going at the hospital, people were bound to find out and talk.


We were all with Alexia at the hospital trying to distract her and have fun. As any mother would do. We were all trying to make the best out of a bad situation. We invited family and friends to visit and tried to keep her spirits up. In hindsight, I wish I hadn't posted that picture, but I certainly didn't mean to hurt Kim. She posted a picture when she was in the hospital this year. Yolanda and Camille have done so regularly. And where is her responsibility in all of this? However, I do feel bad about what it has led to. And I've told her that. I also felt terrible because I know she loves Kingsley, but I also love my child. It was a difficult time for all involved. I didn't blame Kim personally regarding the dog and was willing to drop it and move forward, yet she was too angry with me regarding the Instagram post to be able to do that.
I wish that since I was willing to let go of my anger regarding my daughter being bit and what she had to go through that she could have let go of being upset about the Instagram post. I HAVE to believe she knows I did NOT do that to hurt her.
For Kim to throw out that she would say something about Alexia ( like she did to Lisa R. regarding Harry ) nearly took my breath away. But her dog is off limits?
So there you have it.
I don't even know what to say or do anymore. Clearly, we will never agree on this matter. And now we have more issues to work through, like my hurt and anger over Kim threatening to say something about my child. I know she loves Alexia, and it was just her being angry and "in the moment," but it's going to take me some time to get past that. All I know is I am glad I don't have to relive all of this again on TV. Now I need to take a step back .
Hopefully, time will heal my relationship with Kim. Time and having an open and honest relationship.
It's been a very difficult season. That's for sure. Thank you all for watching.
XO,
Kyle

P.S
Some things I would like to clear up:

A) I NEVER asked for Kingsley to be put down. I love all animals and know how much Kim loves Kingsley. That was never part of our argument.

B) Brooke's wedding : Brooke did a small ceremony at my sister Kathy's house (part of it aired this season), so that Monty would be well enough to walk her down the aisle. The wedding we were referring to at the reunion is her actual "big wedding " coming up. And NO, I did not do anything "unspeakable" or "unforgivable" at the wedding at Kathy's house like Brandi has (once again) put out there. It was a beautiful, perfect day that Brandi Glanville is now trying to throw negativity on. She was NOT EVEN THERE. On top of everything else Brandi has done, she now wants to turn that beautiful day that my family celebrated into something to lie and gossip about. Shame on her.

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