This is such a fun episode for me getting to look back and relive Kimberly's graduation. It was such an amazing experience. For all you mommies out there that are getting ready to go through this. . .It is SOOO exciting and not as scary as it may seem. I was so excited to plan Kimberly's graduation party and to honor her for all her hard work. She has always been a perfect daughter and student. I wanted her to have a beautiful night and one that she would always remember as she moves forward in her life.
Having my sister be a part of this experience was also amazing. We all cherish the moments we have as sisters with our children. As you can see, my sister and I always have fun when we are together -- and our girls love to watch their mommies have a good time and laugh, too. They get such a kick out of us! We have our own lingo and special words for everything. Getting a bikini wax is well. . .not what most people call it. When she laid down on the table is when the fun really began.
I've never seen a waxer with a vibrator. . .Eww! Kyle, in true Kyle-fashion, acted like she had never seen one before. Then when Kyle handed it to me all I kept thinking was, "God only knows where there thing has been!" GROSS! It was a truly comical experience. I love the relationship I have with my sister today. It's just like when we were little again. We laugh, play, talk, and cry. We have each other's backs and listen to each other when we need it the most. These are things I do not take for granted today. I love her so much and will do whatever I need to keep our relationship healthy and right.
Prepping for Kimberly’s party was a lot of work. I wanted it to be perfect. We had to change the date and the theme at the last minute. So here I was the day of, and of course everything was chaotic. But I said NOTHING would ruin this day for Kimberly or my family -- and the night went on to be a huge success. I only invited a small group of only our closest friends and family. This was really an intimate night honoring my daughter for all her accomplishments and saying goodbye before she left the next day. I still can barely write this without crying. I remember not knowing what was going to happen the next day and as a Mom it was scary. It was a challenge to keep a smile on my face and live in the moment. I just wanted this night to be perfect and it was.
All of her sisters, brother, her mommy, daddy, stepmom, my sister Kyle, her cousins and close friends were there. It was truly a night to remember! Kimberly's dad and I could not have been more proud. I am so grateful for the great relationship we have and that we could honor our daughter together. It was a night full of fun and dancing.
However, I was a bit surprised when Carlton asked for alcohol and I felt a little on the spot. When she and the bartender came to me I said, "I don’t keep alcohol in my house," especially since it was a party for Kimberly who is underage I didn’t think people would be expecting it. I ended up asking him if someone could go get some for her.
I also felt bad that Brandi got sick! But all-in-all, I am so glad that they all made it out to support Kimberly and me on such a special day. All the people that came are so special to me and have played a part of Kimberly and my lives. What a beautiful night for my beautiful daughter! Kimberly and I have such a unique relationship -- she is not only my daughter but my best friend. We do everything together from workout to make dinner together. She has even slept with me since she was a baby. . .guilty! We talk about everything, and she a perfect girl and one of my closest friends. I couldn't imagine what life would be like without her right next to me all time! This was about to be the biggest change of my life!
When I invited everyone, most people received evites and there were just a handful that I happened to invite myself -- Lisa was one of those people. I really was on the fence with who I wanted there. I had to consider the limited space and I did not want any problems or fighting on this very special night. When I invited Lisa I said,"I am only having special people and would really like you and Ken to come!" She said, "I might be out of town but if I am here darling I will be there!" and then gave me hug! I haven't had a lot of parties or events like the other girls. For a long time I wasn't in a good place to do so. So now I am so happy to be where I am today and love to entertain and make my house look pretty. It makes me feel so proud!
Having said that, Lisa has never come to anything I have invited her too. Kimberly has always really liked Ken and wanted them there. When I went to Lisa and Ken’s to drop off dresses for the charity, I was in a very good mood. I gave her the dresses and we talked for a little. When I mentioned Kimberly's graduation to her she told me she had been in Wisconsin all weekend I had to laugh because my hairdresser saw her that night having dinner at SUR.
She got caught. At this point in my life I really don't have time for petty things like this nor do I really care. I'm turning 50 this year and have so much to be grateful, for like my children and my daughter's engagement. As for Ken jumping on me the way that he did. . .He was right I have missed some parties, but I also missed out on life. These are things that I regret and have apologized for since I have been sober. No one knows, unless you have walked in someone else's shoes, what it feels like to dislike yourself so much or to feel like you can't go on another day. Or to think that today might be the day that I am going to change. Wanting to change but knowing how. It is a horrible feeling. I think Ken's comment was unnecessary, and I have forgiven myself a lot for the past. I feel terrible about some of the things I missed or things I did. However, in order for me to not pick up a drink today I have had to realize that the past is the past! And today I love myself and my life, my children, sisters, family and of course Kingsley! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog!
As for some of what I need to catch up on. . .I love Kingsley so much! He has become my best friend. I know you all have seen what a great Boy he is. The training was going well, but David said he needed to be with other dogs and socialize. When I heard this I thought I would go crazy a whole week without him. As we watched him drive away I started to cry and it nearly broke my heart. I didn't know how to sleep without my cuddle bug! The week was rough I cannot lie. However, David sent us pictures and videos to see Kingsley’s progress. Chad also helped me through the process and reminded me how strong I am.
When Kingsley came home we decided we would take what worked for our family and Kingsley and thanked David very much for his time! I would also like to add that I know some of you had great concern for the muzzle that Kingsley wore. I would like to say that was something Kingsley only wore a couple of times at the trainer's request. I do not even own one. But during training that is what he felt we needed for the safety of everyone, and I followed the rules to make sure everyone was safe, including my Kingsley. The last thing I would want is for someone to get hurt and for Kingsley to get blamed. Thank you all for your thoughts on this matter.
The other thing I know you all got to see was when I went to Long Beach Grand Prix and got to ride in my friend’s car. I have always been a thrill seeker. I spent many years sitting on the edge of race tracks -- motocross, speedway, cars, and boat races! I have been on the sidelines. I have been on the tracks. And I have been in the water. However, this is something I have not done for so many years and I loved every minute of it. I have wanted to do the Bob Durant racing school since I was 17 years old. When my friend Harrison invited me to Long Beach to ride in his car, I was so excited. It came at a perfect time. All of my kids came too. Unfortunately the race car that I was supposed to drive in that day had mechanical problems earlier so I couldn’t drive the car, but I did get to be a passenger in a Bob Durant car. Can you believe it?!? That was just the beginning of my racing. Soon I will be out on the Bob Durant Racing Track! I hope to get my license and ride with the big boys! All my children are living their own lives and it's time for me to live mine. I am so grateful to my children, my family and to you. This is such an exciting time.
Thank you for patience on my blog entries. Sometimes these blogs overwhelm me and it is difficult to relive some things. My sobriety comes first, my family and Kingsley come second, and then you are next.
XO Talk to you next week