Kyle: It's Still Out There

Kyle explains why the tabloid talk was so hurtful, but where she hopes she can go with Lisa from here.

Well, this is my last blog for Season 4. This Reunion was a particularly difficult one. I had kept so much in for so long that when I finally said what had been on mind for so long, I couldn't stop!

First of all, I want to say that I didn't believe Brandi because we had suddenly gotten close. Brandi and I have never been close. We still aren't. We have gotten to know each other better but we are not close friends by any means. I believed Brandi could be telling the truth because of things that I heard Lisa say about my husband last year at the Reunion and during scenes I saw this season.

It seemed to be a common theme to speak against my husband -- whether it was watching Lisa going after Mauricio's and my integrity regarding our business at lunch with Yolanda and Brandi, or watching Lisa and Ken talk about the tabloids in their living room and seeing how Ken defended Mauricio while Lisa cleverly still tried to cast doubt.

Then there was the fact that Lisa brought up the tabloids in the first episode. It doesn't matter if it is brought up as a joke or as an attack.

No matter HOW it is brought up, it was still put out there. And all of us are smart enough to know that.

I think some of you think that I wasn't upset with Yolanda or Brandi in all of this. I was very upset with all of them after Carlton's lunch at her home.

Yes, it was in the tabloids but if it hadn't been mentioned during the show, it never would have been heard about again -- which is why I made the point to Lisa that I could mention lots of things I had heard about the women. But I never have, jokingly or not. Lisa herself was already joking on Twitter and on the show about the 3/4 of a nipple joke. And that was still AFTER she made the remarks in my kitchen regarding the tabloids.

If Brandi had told me this out of the blue without these other red flags,  then maybe it would have been different. Lisa also had said in Puerto Rico that she never saw the tabloids until after Palm Springs. However, she mentioned it in Episode 1 while we were discussing having SUR cater my Beverly Hills Chamber Of Commerce party.

At this point, I honestly don't even care anymore. I will never know for sure because I wasn't there. Lisa says continuously that she felt "ganged up" on. I also felt "ganged up on" last year at the Reunion and again this year with the "Dream Team." Joyce did as well. Lisa is not the only one to feel attacked.

I also have to say that I have nothing to do with Yolanda's or Brandi's issues with Lisa. I have my own relationship with her and these are separate from the others issues.

When Lisa left after the dinner in Puerto Rico I absolutely, 100 percent, did call her and texted her. No, not ON camera. OFF camera. Surely, they would have shown it if I was trying to reach her on-camera. Lisa also would have asked me the same question if she was told by Brandi that I had done something like this to her.

I do care about Lisa, which made this all the more difficult to swallow.

I didn't understand how Lisa wanted me to move on without even a tiny bit of acknowledgment on her behalf. She is still talking about my saying that "maybe she preys on weak people" three years later AND I have apologized and explained where I was coming from when I said that.

I commented on Lisa's new found "friendship" with Carlton because I know Lisa well enough to know that she doesn't agree with or condone Carlton's behavior. I will not even comment on Carlton because she is not important to me in my life and don't feel she is worth my time. She is free to dislike or hate me all she wants. I wish her well in her life. It just won't be around me.

Going forward, I accepted Lisa's apology. All I wanted was for her to acknowledge my feelings so we could move on. I can always forgive and forget if I care about someone. Only time will tell where our relationship will go. I know that I am only interested in moving forward in a positive way and don't want to continue to bring up the past over and over. Life is too short and we all have too much to be grateful for.

Thank you for watching this season and being a part of our lives.

With love and gratitude,

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