These past two episodes have been very upsetting to watch. I had been so stressed with everything going on that all the negativity with the women was proving to be too much for me. I wanted to get away to have fun and it was impossible with all the mean attacks going on. Although Brandi and I are not close friends, I still consider her a friend. When we are together without Lisa and Yolanda, we get along and laugh. It's as though she becomes a different person in front of them.
I could not win.
The girls didn't like me saying they're a team, but that is exactly what it felt like. Yolanda was relentless, and I was embarrassed because I could feel I was going to start crying -- and knew I would be criticized for that too. I left the table to have privacy, but obviously that isn't possible around here. In hindsight, a part of me is mad at myself for being so quick to want to fix things with Lisa and Yolanda that night. It's clear that Yolanda wasn't genuine from her interview comments saying she doesn't have time for Kim and my antics. Yolanda contradicts herself nonstop. She does talk a good game though. If only her actions matched her words.
Lisa kept saying I was upset about what going on (meaning the tabloids), but it wasn't just that. The mean behavior of this group of women is what sent me over the edge that night.
As far as Carlton goes, I obviously cannot do anything right.