These past two episodes have been very upsetting to watch. I had been so stressed with everything going on that all the negativity with the women was proving to be too much for me. I wanted to get away to have fun and it was impossible with all the mean attacks going on. Although Brandi and I are not close friends, I still consider her a friend. When we are together without Lisa and Yolanda, we get along and laugh. It's as though she becomes a different person in front of them.
I could not win.
The girls didn't like me saying they're a team, but that is exactly what it felt like. Yolanda was relentless, and I was embarrassed because I could feel I was going to start crying -- and knew I would be criticized for that too. I left the table to have privacy, but obviously that isn't possible around here. In hindsight, a part of me is mad at myself for being so quick to want to fix things with Lisa and Yolanda that night. It's clear that Yolanda wasn't genuine from her interview comments saying she doesn't have time for Kim and my antics. Yolanda contradicts herself nonstop. She does talk a good game though. If only her actions matched her words.
Lisa kept saying I was upset about what going on (meaning the tabloids), but it wasn't just that. The mean behavior of this group of women is what sent me over the edge that night.
As far as Carlton goes, I obviously cannot do anything right.Going up the tram ended up being fun. What an incredible view! I don't like heights, but it was less scary than I thought it was going to be. At the picnic table when we were all having lunch the squirrels were brushing against our ankles that's why I was sitting ON the table. Then the girls were putting crumbs behind my butt to attract the squirrels. At least we were having fun even if I am a bit of a Nervous Nelly -- as you may have noticed by now.
Kim praying by the trash can. . .Kim always prays and says a prayer before dinner with her kids. It makes her feel good. Although the women laughed at my sister, I admire that she is comfortable enough to do that when she feels inspired to do so. I also know she didn't realize we were all watching because we were supposed to have gotten in line for the tram to leave.
Later that night Yolanda and Lisa went back to LA and we all stayed on. The energy -- and Brandi -- were noticeably different. I much prefer this side of Brandi. When she got the call that her house was broken into and her dog was missing we all felt terrible! It was as if the night before never happened and everyone just wanted to come together to help her. It made me sad to see her this distraught and made me feel that she is carrying a lot more weight on her shoulders then I realized. Our pets are a part of our family. Being two hours away and knowing Chica was most likely running around in a neighborhood known for having coyotes was scary and sad. It was time to put aside any negative feelings anyone had from the night before and help Brandi.
Until next week. . .Thanks for watching!