Yolanda H. Foster

Yolanda shares her thoughts on Joyce and Brandi's behavior in Palm Springs.

on Dec 9, 20130

When I first joined this group of women, I soon realized that her sometimes painfully honest truth was a characteristic quite rare here, so I gravitated towards her, because I am a creature that needs clarity. I would rather hear the truth than people playing nice to my face and then turning around and trash talking me like some of the usual suspects. Probably also an explanation of why Lisa and Brandi had been best friends for so long; a different but inseparable friendship I often admired.

During the first year of my battle with Lyme disease, Brandi was the ONLY person in this group that consistently and genuinely checked up on me, which says a lot about who she is as a person. For that, I love her and will always be grateful. With that said, I cannot control what comes out of Brandi’s mouth and I absolutely in no way, shape or form, condone Brandi's behavior even though as a woman, I do have empathy for the heartbroken person that she is and feel it is my responsibility as a human being to stay engaged with her and to be a source of support. If I can only give her a glimmer of hope while she is going through her darkness, then that is enough for me. I might be ridiculed for being a friend to Brandi, but I honestly don't care about fan votes or hate regarding this particular subject on social media. I ONLY care about going to sleep at night knowing I have done good and that I made a difference in someone’s life.

I broke my back giving birth to my son Anwar, lost my husband to infidelities, and battled severe depression all at the same time in 1999, so I know what it is like to be broken and down in a deep, dark hole while trying to keep it together to be a mother and raise children. Life did not give me that experience to now look down on Brandi and judge her for falling in a hole that I was once in.

Did I behave like her? NO, I didn't because I choose to live an isolated life with my three children until I weathered the storm. I was a financially independent woman before I got married to Mohamed, so I had the power and freedom to pick up my children and move away from my life in Beverly Hills to the quiet, little town of Montecito.

936 comments
ygal56
ygal56

Growing up I also ironed our sheets, pillowcases, and kitchen curtains; just as long as I have clean sheets and a warm bed to lie my head at night, I am very grateful.

kritteracres@aol.com
kritteracres@aol.com

Yes, well Yolanda, you have drank the Brandi kool aid so stop being so holier than thou.  If Brandi really wants to be a role model to her kids she needs to put down the  bottle and act like one.

05sixpack
05sixpack

Yolanda, that comment about the wrinkled sheets sure didn't help your (I'm really a very down to earth kind of girl) image. It's just makes you seem more of an elitist. Also maybe trying to make it look like the hostess didn't do a very good job of picking the perfect weekend spot for such a highfalutin gal like you. Really!?!  

ru4real
ru4real

TO HIER@ME;

 

Yes, if I was in the Bahamas, I would not go into the water if I could not swim. I would not go into the water if there were chemicals that would irritate my sensitive skin. Or if I had my period and was uncomfortable with cramps or bleeding heavily. I certainly would not discuss that with my guests or while on TV since that is "TMI" and really who wants to hear about it? Frankly, I tend to avoid pools immediately after I highlight my hair since the chemicals turn my hair brassy.  

 

Joyce had a real reason for avoiding the water and people should have respected that. I go to amusement parks with friends but I don't ride the ride since I get sick...does that make me a bad companion??

dishgirl58
dishgirl58

Yolanda's comments regarding that the sheets had not been ironed is typical of those of her ilk! I doubt that she grew up with her Mom ironing the sheets. And on another note, it's obvious that her life revolves around David who definitely runs her life. What a phony and a liar that she is!!

 

ArtMom50
ArtMom50

Yolanda, you're a woman I thought I liked--but not this season. You've become exactly what you complained about in the other women last seaon. It seems you are extraordinally jealous of Joyce. Maybe it's because Joyce is beautiful and young, and you has arrived at middle-age (gracefully beautiful as you are, BTW), your model daughter has vacated the house, and now you are looking for something meaning to do, so your're picking on Joyce).

 

Go find your integrity...

Reallifewife
Reallifewife

Why was it so important to you that Joyce get in the pool? You really made way too big a deal about it. Also I'm really tired of your whining and complaining( the sheets weren't ironed) really?? Stop enabling Brandi's bad behavior, it makes you just as rotten as she is. How rude of Brandi to call Joyce by the wrong name over and over again. Then she tells her what her name ought to be because she's Hispanic. Brandi made another racist comment about Joyce not getting in the pool, she said " you must be black". How ignorant can this woman be? Joyce was more than tolerant with all of you. If Kyle, Kim, or Joyce would have behaved like Brandi did you would have crucified them. Stop saying that your a girl's girl, because you clearly are not. I find you completely reprehensible.

bravoreality
bravoreality

I think if Bravo plays the tapes of last year's Paris trip at the reunion, the issue over who is lying would be resolved.  Clearly, you were frustrated with Lisa about her stirring the pot after she interrupted the Richards sister's private conversation. There has to be more footage that could resolve this dispute between you, Kyle and Kim.

LolaBunny83
LolaBunny83

You seem so educated and controlled and worldly that I'm a little shocked to see that you have so little hindsight on the matter. It's not a comparison to the other girls or about whom you're friends with. A caring person lives in there - as we see by your relationship with your children - but your desire to be right often outweighs your desire for forgiving and genuine relationships.

LoveBravoBB
LoveBravoBB

Dear Linda, Lisa, Yosef, or whatever your name is...

There is an old saying, "beauty is as beauty does." You don't look so good--from the inside.   

peanutshelle
peanutshelle

Yolanda, you are one of the biggest hypocrites on the show. Brandi is COMPLETELY inappropriate at all times about everything and, according to you, it's okay she's just being herself. Kyle, on the other hand, asks a question, or calls you on your bullshit - like she did at the reunion where YOU called HER a liar FIRST, watch the tape - and you cry victim. Your behavior at Joyce's dinner party was reprehensible, and everything you accuse Kyle of doing is actually what YOU are doing to Kyle. i thought you were a classy lady last season, but apparently I was wrong...your true colors are showing.

 

Oh, and if anybody drank any Kool-aid, Carlton drank yours!

nvahousewife
nvahousewife

I really like you Yolanda.  You are one of my favorites on the show.  I think Joyce and Kyle and Kim resonate because they may be nice girls, but I find them to be rather dumb.  Kyle is the ringleader, Joyce is annoying and Kim is overly sensitive.

Luvbug009
Luvbug009

Why are you concerned with Lisa taking care of Brandi? Brandi may be an adult, but as you've seen before (or maybe you're blinded by your husbands grammy's), she can't be left to her own devices. What's wrong with a person taking care of another??

Platshaw
Platshaw

Yolanda you think you are better than everyone and know everything. Why don't you listen - can you imagine hosting a dinner and someone behaved as rudely as you Brandi and Lisa did. Calling you say Linda instead of your name? You would have been apauld.

Reallynow12
Reallynow12

Yolanda, seriously I think you have serious issues.  When you make comments like "Kyle has bigger problems to deal with at this particular time, which I am very well aware of" you look like a jealous "old" biddy!  With all your money you are still jealous of her.  Maybe her marriage will end maybe it won't but that's none of your business.   I really liked this show but no longer I think that Carlton has been trying to fight with Kyle since she got on the show -fits right in with your group!  You four are the "mean" girls congrats.

Ro514
Ro514

Yolanda- did you drink Lisa, Brandi & Carltons Koolaide? Because your so busy up their ass you can't see straight.

wrentham
wrentham

I used to think that you were very beautiful but now based on what comes out of your mouth, I see that you are only well groomed.

TinaMon
TinaMon

Wow, five pages of ramblings from Yolanda. 

miamorphos
miamorphos

A leathery and burned-out lowlander who slept her way into a pile of cash, and now has nothing but ugly and bitter toxic energy and a cognitive deficit that ain't going away. Thanks for making the show interesting by providing the "evil" perspective on everything!

kparrott
kparrott

Yolanda, loved you last season but I believe you are joining the Dark Side.  I thought you were better than that!  I guess not.

Pinouye
Pinouye

You and Lisa enable Brandi to continue her rude and vile behavior! When she says something that you don't agree with, then say so right then and there. Maybe in the long run it will help her realize she needs to think before she speaks. If nothing else, at least the other women will know that you're not simply giving her a pass. You say ziltch, and Lisa laughs it off. What the underlying point is by doing nothing is that Brandi's actions and words are ok by you! What was the big deal about Joyce not wanting to get into the pool? Do you always force people to do things they don't want to? And then to say "you're the host...this is your pool" was downright rude. Even at the dinner when Joyce said to sit anywhere you had an issue with it. Why are you so controlling?

ru4real
ru4real

Brandi never says anything that I would want to say outloud. Nor does she say anything I think. 

rachel.n.lee.7
rachel.n.lee.7

I really appreciate this blog, it sounds like you again. It also helped me access my compassion with respect to Brandi, I can tell she is having a rough time emotionally but I wish she would share it with us rather than drink and act out.

BonnieR
BonnieR

The first season you were on  I thought you were classy....sorry not so much anymore....Why you like Brandi is beyond me and you've turned into this mean woman too!  You and Brandi and Lisa need to go!

sarah100
sarah100

Your idea of manners, lifestyle and etiquette are not going over well here in the US. Maybe you should join a Dutch TV show. Can't believe you told your teenage daughter to eat two Almonds instead of telling her to eat a sandwich.

superdoc
superdoc

Hi Yolanda,  Please do not listen to the people expressing an ignorant less than opinion.  I enjoy you on this show.  You are true to your word, you know who you are, where you are going and who with.  You are in the minority in this day in this country.  Women should always stick together and celebrate each other.  People cannot accept the truth and when you state the truth, they do not handle it well.  I also enjoy Brandi and Lisa.  The other women I enjoy but at times see that they are unsure of who they are.  Often times a woman who knows who she is will get the comments you have received from some of the people.  I am sure you care but will not let it effect who you are.  The difference with Brandi is she knows who she is as well but she doesn't like who she is at times.  No one on here is more critical of her than she is of herself.  She needs support and I am glad she has a real friend like you to support her.  She was handed a raw deal that you know is hard to work through and takes time.  That is why you are such a good friend you put yourself in her shoes because you have been there.  You know it is a long hard road.  When you are into your children the way that you three are, being a mother in a productive manner is very important.  You just want your children to succeed and if it is passing you, all the better.  Brandi could very well be sabotaging herself in fear of failing.  I am not sure but it is very hard to watch her.  She clearly did not want to be there and just wanted it to be over.  

 

You are not nasty ever or condescending to anyone.  You are very kind, caring and considerate of all.  You do not overlook Brandi's behavior you accept it for now as you know she is having a rough time because that is what a good friend does.  

 

You see in Brandi what I do, a bird with a broken wing.  Sure she has set backs but the core of her is sensitive and kind.  She lashes out when she is attacked.  

 

Good luck to you all.

 

 

BeckieEb
BeckieEb

Yolanda, It seems every episode is a crazy one !! I have admired your tank tops and was wondering if you would share who makes them and where you buy them ?

dmajor
dmajor

I still like you, even though your friend, Brandi, not so much

JessicaLayne94
JessicaLayne94

Yolanda, 

 

After all these seasons, you are still my favorite Housewife. I love your ability to accept people for who they are and try to make the best out of many situations that may not be the best. 

 

In Palm Springs, I thought you looked super classy, EVEN IN A ONE-PIECE! You always look stylish, classy and put together and I admire you for that. I love your old fashion values, and I agree with you that friendships and trust are built over time. However, I have to say that when you refer to Joyce kind of attaching herself to Kyle and Kim, I don't exactly blame her. If I was thrown into a group of women, with different motives, and different relationships amongst themselves, I would most likely grab onto the one who was most open towards me and made me feel good. If Kyle were the one defending me, I'd want to be her friend too. 

 

Despite Brandi being in a dark place (which everyone can pretty much attest to in one way or another), her cruel and jabbing words are indeed hurtful and affect people in many ways. For people with similar personalities to Brandi, like Carlton, who appreciates her sense of humor and sometimes cunning words, it's hard for others, like Joyce, who may not be "wired" the same way. Everyone comes from a place of hurt and one time or another in their lives, but drinking in excess amounts and being downright mean is uncalled for. I was cheated on in the past, but I never did nor did it give me the right to hurt the people around me.

 

If this devastation is still taking such a toll on Brandi's life, she should get some professional help. She seemed A-OK messing around with JR, but then switches and wants to play the victim. Pick one side or another. You can't constantly be okay, then decide I'm hurt and I can do and say whatever I want because of it. 

 

Aside from that, I really do think you are a good friend by sticking by Brandi in her time of need as she did for you. It shows how true your relationship must be. With that being said, viewers only really see one side of everyone, and that is on the show. We don't know anything about who you guys are in real life- and I think people need to be open to that a bit more. 

lorrilmrche1965
lorrilmrche1965

Yolanda Darling, grow some balls and stop trying so hard to be like Brandi. Unless your husband cheats on you your not her. You should start by telling the truth about what you said about Lisa, so again grow some balls.

laurissa
laurissa

Yolanda, I'm truly horrified by the cruel and hurtful comments that people are posting. First and foremost, none of these hateful opinions define you so please stop giving them credence. Dignifying the jealousy and hatred spewed on this medium is not worth your time or energy. If I were you, I would not engage in it or defend any if your actions. Secondly, I enjoyed watching your homemaking and rearing of your daughters in Season One and feel this is where your light shines the most. I miss that facet of your personality and feel saddened that you have been caught up in all the catty nonsense. You're above it and you know it, look at the volume of mean comments and you will see you fail miserably at entertaining this nonsense. Finally, you are an elegant, solid, strong woman with dignity. Let us see more if you disengaged in the hateful banter and more of the Dutch Martha Stewart that was a breath if fresh air, your evasive dig in your blog about Kyle was so beneath you and unnecessary as she dies a fine job portraying her true colors. Please stop leveling yourself to their bottom and ruse above this. Please. People do not get your loyalty towards Brandi because people are disgusted with her mouth and for good reason, Consider that it's acceptable for you to reciprocate her loyalty without feeling measured by others disdain for her. One final note, you are an amazing voice for Lyme and a support to so many others, Would you kick someone down when they are sick? I think not, so look at where the caliber of comments are coming from that are directed negatively toward you and don't dignify them with a response. It only proves to fuel the hatred as hateful people enjoy a good counter attack. Let's hear about your Christmas decorating, your traditions and homemaking, you're an amazing lady with a remarkable life to share with viewers that wish to be engaged with your personality. If you're going to comment on the women if the show, try diplomacy and understand that empathy is in order for people like Kyle. I'm truly sorry on behalf of kindness at all the cruel comments. Start your own blog about the light that shines within you as you cultivate your marriage and family life. Eschew this nonsense, it's embarrassing to witness as you are above it, thanks for letting me share. All the best from Naples Florida

iheartu
iheartu

you say you have no control what comes out of brandi's mouth, but you constantly defend it and egg her on, so you are very disingeniunous about that. you say your cultural values created your honesty and directness, are you saying us Americans are not honest and direct? You have to step down from your ivory tower, you have insulted your host country. We all saw the video of you stating EXACTLLY what Kyle and Kim say you said, "Lisa is not a real friend, she only wants to look like she is a caring person" WE SAW IT!!!!!!! You have been caught in another lie, when Bravo finally decieds to rerun that episode, boy you're going to be eating crow! Most of what you say, nobody listens or belives, no one listens to your advice, no one thinks you are all that. When you told your daughter she looks like a lesbian when she's playing sports, when you tell workers in your house to learn english then you hide behinde being slow to pick up on things because you're foreign, after 30 YEARS, when you talk down and mother everyone, we just think you're a nasty piece of crap. By the way, Brandi has been insulting to the father of 3 of your children, where's your loyalty???

agapeviewer
agapeviewer

Yolanda, Who do you think you are??? Always on your high horse, scolding others about their manners and you're the rudest of them all! Maybe, you need to learn to speak the English language and you won't say stuff you later feel the need to deny. You were nasty and rude at the pool and at dinner. It's also clear that you are constantly attacking the Richard's bc they may say something that will show you in a light that is not very appealing. As I said in another comment, I'm not a Kyle (or Kim) fan, and you used to be one of my favorites, but you've proven yourself to be anything but. Find a bit of introspection, you need it.

angie0238
angie0238

How refreshing. Not everyone in the USA understands the cultural differences between us and the rest of the world. Truth if spoken 100% of the time is respected in Europe. Not a problem for me. I appreciate that, not what you tell you daughter when she hasn't eaten and is sucking on an almond, but I find your need to help Brandi wonderful.

I have traveled and I am married to someone who spent his formative years in Europe. He is honest, he says nothing he doesn't mean and he will stay quiet and listen vs feeling compelled to dishonor anyone. But you are on a TV show and you have to be 100% honest all the time, that is why you were hired to be "Yolanda".......so you will not

be understood but you knew that. So Bravo to you, but good that you share so much of yourself and still hold your

head up and are proud you dug yourself out of deep depression. It proves we can do it, if for not ourselves then for

our children. They are worth the world.

bena68
bena68

I don't blame you for hating Kyle, she has been a mean a girl from the beginning of the show, now that the tables have turned against Kyle she is crying like a baby, and using Joyce. I like the friendship you, Brandi and Lisa have, but Brandi seemed drunk when she was being mean to Joyce. I agree with you, Joyce should've gotten in to the pool, knowing her she didn't want to get her hair wet. There are times when being a beauty queen shouldn't matter. I think your are a very good person, Kyle is trying to break you and Lisa's friendship and I hope it doesn't work.

kparrott
kparrott

 @sarah100 I know!  And I hate it when she says, "The girls here with all their makeup, and their hair all fixed...."  I just want to tell her to go back where she came from then so she can be with the girls with no makeup, messed up hair, no tops on  with their business hanging  down to their stomachs.  And what kind of mother tells her daughter who is feeling light-headed from the cleanse to eat 2 almonds?  What's that going to do?  It's pretty  much telling her daughter it's ok to eat like an anorexic.  I mean, I know her daughter is a model but , come on, she could of had a salad with some chicken.

 

heir2me
heir2me

 @sarah100 1) Her daughter is a model 2) Almonds have more nutreints 3) It's her child, not yours...if you want your child to be a candidate for bariatrics then that's your choice.

heir2me
heir2me

 @superdoc Well said. Others on here are the Kyle/Kim/Joyce's of the world....want to give the perception of perfection which does not exist.

Reallifewife
Reallifewife

@laurissa I'm horrified that you think people are being cruel and hurtful. We are all just speaking the truth. Elegant women do not behave like Yolanda does. She has become mean and vindictive.

twiddledeedum
twiddledeedum

 @bena68

 Have you notice the smirk on Kyle's face after everyone left? Oh yeah, she said it is so much better without all the tension. SHE CREATED THAT TENSION. Then in the Limo she said  "Let's all talk about Lisa". and then blaming Brandi for it she says "Thanks Brandi" I really believe Kyle thinks she can lie away the truth. What a creep.

koczusia
koczusia

 @bena68 WHY should anybody have to do anything on vacation? hostess or no hostess.Forcing somebody to do anything is a total lack of class .She said no many times.Why wasn't that enough for you Yolanda?

ru4real
ru4real

 @bena68 Why should Joyce have gotten in the pool?  Maybe she was unwell and didn't want to spoil the party by talking about it.  Many people don't swim in pool water because the chemicals irritate their skin and can ruin a swimsuit.

heir2me
heir2me

 You all are speaking your individual truths. So stop with the "we are all". No one gets to define what an "elegant" woman is but she herself. I particularly find a lot of the women to not be geniune people (in general). They same flaky, flighty, and easily entertained. Yolanda's blog was on point. I find those with such strong opinions are not being geniune either simply because if everyone acted according to how we should act, based on what folks on here are saying, then this world would be peaceful and perfe.It's not. It's not because we are humans with our own thoughts/opinions/perceptions. Most people are afraid of the truth and guess what sometimes the truth doesn't come in a pretty pink ribboned box...sometimes it comes out the mouth of a drunken woman, a homeless man, and even a foolish child.

heir2me
heir2me

Umm soo @ ru4real....you're basically saying you would go the Bahamas and look at the beach from your hotel room?

LouisafromTexas
LouisafromTexas

 @ru4real  @bena68

 What the F does it matter if she gets in the pool or not?  OMG!!! Just because she invited them to a beautiful resort with a pool doesn't mean she has to get in.  Not everyone did, so what?

twiddledeedum
twiddledeedum

 @ru4real  @bena68

 If that was true, she should have picked a different place that had other activities, not just a pool, and it was 120 degrees in the shade and as a hostess she sucked, making sure her and her entourage got the best rooms and shoving everyone else into the smaller bungalows..