Joyce Drank the Richards Sisters' Kool-Aid
Yolanda shares her thoughts on Joyce and Brandi's behavior in Palm Springs.
Hi everyone! WOW that was a pretty crazy episode, so let’s get right to it...
Brandi has been working really hard to support Jake and Mason as a single mom, and I am really happy she has a new book deal and other great opportunities coming her way. Her sex advice is to the point, and I believe she says out loud what most women think but do not dare say.
Kyle and Carlton have been like oil and water since the day they met. I would like to point out to you that Kyle is always referring to TEAMS and Carlton is just not buying it and trying to get a fresh start from a fresh start. The Lakers and the Clippers teams play against each other, friends shouldn't. Kyle has obviously burned her bridges with everyone in this group, and since Taylor and Faye Resnick left, she has made it her mission to enlist Joyce to be her next, new soldier.
I would like to take you back in time so you understand the circumstances of when this story took place. The first time I met Carlton and Joyce at Kyle's party, I gave them both my phone number and invited them to lunch, even though I was still spending most of my days in bed battling Lyme disease. I felt like I needed to make an effort and make them both feel welcome in the group. Carlton and I saw each other that same week, but Joyce and I never had one on one time before our Palm Springs trip. Seeing today’s episode, she clearly drank the Richards sisters’ Kool-Aid.
Nevertheless, her invitation was generous, but the whole concept of "who gets there first to get the best room" is high school antics. The room itself is symbolic. There were four bedrooms in the main house and we were seven women. We could have easily shared rooms and all stayed there together. Lisa and I ended up having a great time bunking up and enjoying girls' time we never had before.
Having been raised very disciplined, I had to iron for my mom every Friday afternoon after school. So to this day, I have a thing for sheets. Anyway, sleeping in the wrinkled sheets ended up being the least of our problems.
Instead of going back to high school, we should have gone all the way back to kindergarten and picked straws, which would have been much more fun and fair. I feel that when you take the responsibility to host something, it is your job to make sure that all your guests are taken care of equally.
Being in the desert where it’s 120 degrees in a bathing suit with nobody wanting to get wet was the most uncomfortable poolside experience I ever had. Kyle and Joyce were talking about skinny dipping that same night in the same pool, so the whole "I can't swim” excuse was an absolute lie.
Brandi's racial comment was uncalled for. The bigger picture here is that sadly nobody wanted to get in the pool because they are so critical of themselves and competing with each other. They don't want to mess up their hair and makeup and expose who and what they really are.
I found the conversation regarding Carton’s religion stimulating and informative. It’s because of people who seem to think their God is much more powerful than others that we have so many wars in this world. Being raised by a Catholic father, a Protestant mother, and marrying the Muslim father of my three children, I encourage people to respect and at least try to understand different religions.
The interaction between all seven of us at the dinner table was an absolute insult to the intelligence of women. Seeing a two-hour dinner condensed down to five minutes just makes things even worse. In my own defense, even if it did not look like it, I will and have always been supportive of celebrating women and their success. I definitely showed interest in Joyce’s new show Siberia and even tweeted about it.
Joyce is a gorgeous, smart, and bubbly beauty queen, but we have not had the opportunity to get to know each other. Prior to this trip, we met for a total of ten minutes, and I’ve never had an in-depth one-on-one conversation with her, so I was quite surprised to see her already so influenced by Kyle. I know we are living in Hollywood where relationships are built overnight, but it takes me personally more than ten minutes to get to know someone and trust their opinion. I might be old-fashioned (and according to Joyce an “old lady”) but in my heart, friendships and respect are earned over time.
Joyce and Carlton were not with us at the time of the incident Kyle keeps referring to, which happened one and a half years ago in Paris. As an “older lady” (LOL!), I am realizing that because of my cultural difference, I have very different values. My honesty and directness are not very diplomatic and my words are often taken with a different intention than how they were spoken. I would like to learn from my mistakes if I make one, so I would have loved to hear Kyle’s perception of our conversation in Paris rather than “agree to disagree,” but I guess it is the easier way out. To Kyle’s defense, she has bigger problems to deal with at this particular time, which I am very well aware of.
So, to stay true to myself, I have to express my feelings about Brandi. Her and I started out friendly. I always found her to be a brutally honest person that says what’s on her mind.
When I first joined this group of women, I soon realized that her sometimes painfully honest truth was a characteristic quite rare here, so I gravitated towards her, because I am a creature that needs clarity. I would rather hear the truth than people playing nice to my face and then turning around and trash talking me like some of the usual suspects. Probably also an explanation of why Lisa and Brandi had been best friends for so long; a different but inseparable friendship I often admired.
During the first year of my battle with Lyme disease, Brandi was the ONLY person in this group that consistently and genuinely checked up on me, which says a lot about who she is as a person. For that, I love her and will always be grateful. With that said, I cannot control what comes out of Brandi’s mouth and I absolutely in no way, shape or form, condone Brandi's behavior even though as a woman, I do have empathy for the heartbroken person that she is and feel it is my responsibility as a human being to stay engaged with her and to be a source of support. If I can only give her a glimmer of hope while she is going through her darkness, then that is enough for me. I might be ridiculed for being a friend to Brandi, but I honestly don't care about fan votes or hate regarding this particular subject on social media. I ONLY care about going to sleep at night knowing I have done good and that I made a difference in someone’s life.
I broke my back giving birth to my son Anwar, lost my husband to infidelities, and battled severe depression all at the same time in 1999, so I know what it is like to be broken and down in a deep, dark hole while trying to keep it together to be a mother and raise children. Life did not give me that experience to now look down on Brandi and judge her for falling in a hole that I was once in.
Did I behave like her? NO, I didn't because I choose to live an isolated life with my three children until I weathered the storm. I was a financially independent woman before I got married to Mohamed, so I had the power and freedom to pick up my children and move away from my life in Beverly Hills to the quiet, little town of Montecito.
I am only sharing this information with you because I want you to think twice before using social media to violently judge my friend who's fighting a battle you know nothing about. It’s so easy to push the send button with your nasty comments, but please take into account how much damage your words can do to someone so fragile. NONE of this is an excuse for Brandi's behavior, but it is an explanation that needs to be taken into consideration.
I am having a very hard time watching her myself, but I am trying to remember the woman that drove all the way to Malibu just to sit by my bedside and give me a cup of coffee during my battle with Lyme disease this year… So at this point, I am giving her a pass hoping we have seen her at rock bottom and that she is getting the help she needs to work through all the demons that are haunting her. Remember, the way people treat others is a true reflection of how they feel about themselves.
By the way, none of this is news to Brandi. I have had plenty of conversations with her regarding her behavior, which you will see in the upcoming episodes.
I am not just going to drop my friend because she is not making me look very good in front of all of you right now. I will support Brandi to the best of my ability until she comes out of this very difficult time in her life. At this time, I only wish her love, light, and the ability to heal her broken heart.
In the beginning of my horrendous health journey, it was really hard to accept withdrawing from the world after being so immersed in it my whole life. But I must say that being forced to deal with half my brainpower has slowed me down and given me the ability to step back and assess situations in a clear way that I never have before. I am learning to manage my expectations of people and to try to accept everyone for who they are knowing we all do the best we can.
Have a great week.