Yolanda H. Foster

Yolanda dishes on how she really feels about Mauricio, Kyle, and Carlton and what she's learned through Lyme Disease.

on Nov 11, 2013

Hi everyone. I hope you had a great week and enjoyed tonight's episode.

Please remember, the purpose of this blog is not to rag on anyone but rather to give you an individual's perspective on her journey in a group of seven strong independent women whose opinions are all equally as important.

Today's episode starts you off one-and-a-half years into my battle with chronic neurological Lyme disease. It's been a challenge to show this very vulnerable not so pretty side of myself. I find it almost embarrassing to watch my paralyzed brain struggle with word retrieval as I try to participate in conversations. Lyme has brought me to my knees; this disease is a silent killer and does not have a face. Words about the way I look used to flatter my ego -- but have now become a sound of discredit to my disease. Because of this, millions of people go undiagnosed and therefore not treated. Without treatment people become disabled, crippled, bedridden, and many die.

When struggling to get out of bed in the morning due to pain and exhaustion, the last thing on the priority list is going to get a blow dry. I choose to use the little energy that I have to make breakfast for my children and bring my husband a cup of coffee. I say this because it's funny to see how many people comment on my s---ty, thinned-out, lifeless hair. Obviously I am trying to share the truth of my reality here, not qualify for a beauty pageant.

I am the shell of the woman I used to be so the hardest thing for me is to accept my limitations and deal with the feeling of inadequacy due to not being able to do all that I used to. I truly miss me being me!