Hi everyone. I hope you had a great week and enjoyed tonight's episode.
Please remember, the purpose of this blog is not to rag on anyone but rather to give you an individual's perspective on her journey in a group of seven strong independent women whose opinions are all equally as important.
Today's episode starts you off one-and-a-half years into my battle with chronic neurological Lyme disease. It's been a challenge to show this very vulnerable not so pretty side of myself. I find it almost embarrassing to watch my paralyzed brain struggle with word retrieval as I try to participate in conversations. Lyme has brought me to my knees; this disease is a silent killer and does not have a face. Words about the way I look used to flatter my ego -- but have now become a sound of discredit to my disease. Because of this, millions of people go undiagnosed and therefore not treated. Without treatment people become disabled, crippled, bedridden, and many die.
When struggling to get out of bed in the morning due to pain and exhaustion, the last thing on the priority list is going to get a blow dry. I choose to use the little energy that I have to make breakfast for my children and bring my husband a cup of coffee. I say this because it's funny to see how many people comment on my s---ty, thinned-out, lifeless hair. Obviously I am trying to share the truth of my reality here, not qualify for a beauty pageant.
I am the shell of the woman I used to be so the hardest thing for me is to accept my limitations and deal with the feeling of inadequacy due to not being able to do all that I used to. I truly miss me being me!
On the day they removed my port, I was still pretty optimistic that I had arrived at the end of my journey and was close to the finishing line of my recovery. Unfortunately, this episode was shot in March of 2013 and I realize that eight months later I am still struggling through my days and still haven't found a cure or was able to put this disease in remission.
I keep reminding myself that I was given this challenge for a reason so on a positive note, I am very blessed to be able to use this extraordinary platform to bring awareness to this worldwide epidemic that so many know so little about.
As you probably can imagine I live in a highly superficial world, which is manageable when you are running on all eight cylinders. But when the chips are down, you are forced to take inventory and are faced with people's true colors. It's quite astonishing to see how little empathy, or maybe ability, people have to stay connected to someone battling chronic disease. My heart goes out to those who have no support system in this journey.
Which leads me to the blessing in my life, my husband. . .If it was not for his perseverance I probably would not be here today. He is a constant reminder of everything that is good and proof that true love and friendship does exist.
I am so grateful for my children who remind me everyday what matters in life and I feel fortunate to be their mommy and share their special love.
It’s so funny because no matter what your struggles are, your mommy duties never stop. I had promised Gigi I’d do the master cleanse with her before her upcoming shoot with Guess. Starting on the day of my surgery was obviously not a smart move on my part and needless to say I only lasted two days. My enthusiasm use to be so contagious that at one point I had the entire household on the master cleanse including the people working with us.
It was so nice for Brandi's mom to come out, especially knowing that she still has a full time job and needed to take time off to come and help B. Seeing them laugh while sitting on the bedroom floor -- minus the alcohol -- made me so happy. At the end of the day, all problems aside, that's really the strong family bond that they have. I was fortunate to get to know Brandi's parents when I spent a weekend in Sacramento, which you will see in upcoming episodes.
Lisa is by far the most fun entertainment on this show. I had never seen the episode of Dancing With The Stars where she fainted because I was at a treatment center in Florida at that time. It really scared me when I saw it today -- and I have to disagree with the girls, as I don't believe anyone could fake that. Like most of us, Lisa is competitive and does not like to be bad at anything she does, so cutting her journey short wasn't planned if you ask me.
Lunch at her house was beautiful and fancy as always. I had just arrived home from seven weeks in Florida so I was happy to see the girls and was trying to get back into life. I am so annoyed with my struggle to scan information in my brain and pull quickly enough to intelligently keep up with Lisa’s banter. But what I was trying to say is that I was doing rehabilitation for my brain with a program called Lumosity.
And to set the record straight, I am not looking for a realtor but I absolutely adore Mauricio and always have. I believe he is a very hard worker and well deserving of owning The Agency, one of the most successful real-estate companies in Beverly Hills.
I was genuinely happy to see Kyle host a lunch for Joyce and Carlton because as the new girl last year, I often wondered why very few in the group made an effort to get to know me on a more intimate level (on and off camera that is).
Carlton is a beautiful soul and has such an extraordinary view on the universe. I get why she would be upset about someone needlessly killing a bee or ignoring her cat story.
Her home is absolutely beautiful and authentic, like she is. As you will see in the future, she speaks her mind with a little too many f words but it always comes from a spiritual place of truth. David is a gem, Mysteri and Destiny are well grounded super polite young ladies, and Cross is eatable.
Kim has got her hands full with Kingsley. It's like raising another child but I hope she can train him and continue to enjoy the beautiful faithful love our pets give us. Chad is such a handsome, strong young man and hopefully he can help Kim raise this puppy.
Well that’s it for now, I hope you have a wonderful week. Be happy, healthy, and try to make a little time for romance if you can.