Nonsense and No Sensibility: A Tale of Two Accounts

Teddi calls Dorit Kemsley the Queen of Unaccountability.

Teddi’s Truths: Dorit and I were supposed to meet for drinks at 4PM. I arrive promptly and, thankfully, with a brand new pedicure since you’re subjected to a closeup of my feet. I text Dorit two minutes in to let her know I’ve arrived. After sitting around by myself sipping my prosecco for 36 minutes (thank you, on-screen time stamps), I text Dorit to make sure she’s okay. At 4:48PM, Dorit finally calls. Apparently she was kept on a call and couldn’t get off the phone, and I’m assuming it's because somebody wouldn’t stop talking. Like you hear me say, it’s quite simple to send a text while you’re on the phone. Even so, we also hear that with traffic, she probably wouldn’t get to me for another 15-20 minutes (which in LA-speak basically means I just left my house, and I’m leaving it in the hands of Waze), and I wasn’t into wasting any more time. So as I left, she apologized and said she understood. The end.

Dorit’s Delusions: In Dorit’s version, she and I were supposed to meet somewhere between 4:30PM and Christmas. Dorit was so busy she couldn’t respond to my text I sent her asking if she was okay because I’m a monster—a disgusting beast of a person who texts somebody when they’re supposed to be somewhere and don’t show up and you haven’t heard from them. Then, in Dorit’s version, she called me as she was 10 minutes (oh, really?) away and I said in a huff, “I’m not waiting any longer!” And now she’s put off by me because I’m an exaggerator and making her the bad guy. Queen of unaccountability.

Let me say this: I am all for Dorit having a successful business and would never be upset about somebody missing dumb drinks for something so important. And this wouldn’t have been a big deal had she not gone to Kyle to begin with and started some false narrative. But here we are, spending so much time talking about time, it’s making me thirsty. But not thirsty enough to go have drinks alone for an hour again.

Parched until next week,

XX Teddi

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Teddi Mellencamp Arroyave

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