Throughout the first nine episodes, the fans of The Real Housewives of Dallas undoubtedly lived through a crescendo of drama. For me, the drama/trauma continues but is finally subsiding. After the ladies trip to Austin, I was physically ill. Just watching the episode last week made it difficult for me to eat and sleep well. Fortunately, as time goes on, and the drama/trauma from last year’s ladies trip to Austin recedes, slowly but surely. Just last week I threw a great charity event around the launch of my RAGS II Riches Signature Skin Care Line. For the entire month of June, I will be donating 10% of the proceeds, from the gross sales of my RAGS II Riches products, to the Lee Park & Arlington Hall Conservancy in Dallas, Texas. In the past, this is the exact type of event LeeAnne would have worked with me on and furthered her charity involvement, but unfortunately, we haven’t spoken since this time last year.
Grown Up Mean Girl or Master Manipulator?
Most people by now should be able to recognize that all of LeeAnne's hurt and anger runs right back through to Tiffany’s actions. I’m not sure how Tiffany looks herself in the mirror with her mean girl actions, which don't align with the dumb Tiff-irmations she posts all over social media. It's doubtful she can ever find a way to square-up her affirmational talk with all the controversy she stirred up over the last year. As Brandi so aptly stated, Tiffany talks in repetitive circles within circles, within circles. I really hoped her time here in Dallas would be a positive thing.
Going into the Byron Nelson party, I was apprehensive about seeing LeeAnne and Tiffany face-to-face. With the luxury of time having passed, I processed the Austin weekend and I began to accept some difficult new truths about how different I was and how different my life was from LeeAnne and Tiffany's. I try my hardest to live my life at a low conflict threshold. I don’t pretend to "shine my light, not fight." I simply don’t fight and certainly not just for the heck of it, or for others viewing pleasure.
Brandi was very direct when she said, "Tiffany doesn't like Marie and there is more to their relationship than all of us know, they dangle stuff over each other." So I guess Tiffany only pretended to be my friend. And was right when she said, "the relationship between LeeAnne, Tiffany, and me was the most unhealthy thing she's ever sat back and witnessed." Even so, and especially because at that point, I didn't know Tiffany was telling people she didn't like me. I was still thinking maybe, just maybe, Tiffany’s "Tiffi-rmations" were genuine -- but not anymore -- they are just dumb, warmed-over inspirational quotes she uses to "inspire" people to pay her for "life mentoring" Skype classes. Certainly, I can't be the only one who finds it really disappointing that she doesn't live up to them in her everyday life. Just watch RHOD and the fact that her words don’t align with her actions is obvious.
Later during the party, again Tiffany pushed LeeAnne to confront me, because as we all know by now, she’s not here to fight, she’s here to shine her light, her burning laser beam light, that is. Pay careful attention, LeeAnne wasn't interested in confronting me, it was Tiffany who says "she's not delusional or the instigator" but actually, that's exactly what she is doing and has been doing all season. Watch LeeAnne’s face when Tiffany does all of the talking to me about needing to get the story straight, she is disengaged, but Tiffany isn't -- she's pushing her agenda against me...even LeeAnne says rehashing any of the poop story at this party "is the last thing she wants to do," but Tiffany presses on, again demanding I admit to something I didn’t do. But that’s Tiffany. By now, everyone knows what to expect from Tiffany; extend and pretend by projecting your stuff onto others and then shine your laser beam light! I’m still left wondering why Tiffany has to do all of the talking for LeeAnne. It’s beyond weird and super co-dependent. I was not shocked at all when once again Tiffany pushed LeeAnne into a confrontation and tried like heck to convince LeeAnne that I was the liar. Watch Tiffany try it with Cary, with all of the poor grammar and syntax she could muster; the minute Tiffany sees that Cary isn't buying her line on me she says, "I can't be friends with Cary." Wow.
I feel like I have been unfairly bashed consistently by Tiffany and I’m sick of it. I even offered to take a polygraph test to prove I wasn’t the person that spread the rumor and I am still willing to do so. She needs to shine her light inward, look herself in the mirror, and then check herself. Prior to Austin I had never discussed any LeeAnne poop story with Taylor or any of the ladies on that trip.
All those times LeeAnne got angry and lost it during the season, lead back to Tiffany and her "friendship." Could all those scenarios just be classic misdirection? If one carefully weighed what I’ve been saying and compared that with what one saw from Tiffany last year, one might agree that I’ve not been attacking LeeAnne, I’ve attacked some of her words and some of her behavior, but I have not attacked LeeAnne. Tiffany, that’s a different story. I find her to be the Biggest. Fake. Ever. The sooner she packs up her apartment and flees to Houston (her real hometown) the better.
Can (Or Should) One Reconcile With A Bully?
If LeeAnne could get over her past behavior and somehow put away her current self-righteous, judgmental, and indignant attitude, maybe we could have an adult conversation. We’d sit down and resolve this nonsensical Tiffany-driven "liar," "betrayer" idiocy and maybe, just maybe, she’d see that not only have I not lied to her or betrayed her, she’s been manipulated by her newest bestie for life every step of the way over the past year. Perhaps if LeeAnne’s boyfriend Rich were to read my blog posts he could get through to her, he has been able to do that in the past; perhaps he could again be the voice of reason.
Back to the Byron Nelson party. When Cary interrupted the barrage of accusations and abuse Tiffany continued to throw my way, I was relieved. It was getting old having Tiffany verbally abuse me on LeeAnne's behalf. Cary had and continues to have every right to be, as LeeAnne so aptly phrased things early in the season, "pissed as hell," about LeeAnne's words and behavior towards her. LeeAnne supposedly going around town telling anyone who will listen that Cary is a "home wrecker" is absurd, and frankly, makes Cary seem spot-on when she says LeeAnne is jealous of her. Maybe she's right. And it has nothing to do with what Rich looks like versus what Mark looks like. Comparing people's looks is beyond shallow. Mark is an accomplished plastic surgeon with years of medical schooling and post medical specialty training which made him such an accomplished surgeon, so I doubt he wants to be anything that he isn’t, even if that role came with a “chiseled body.”
LeeAnne continues to justify yet again more ridiculous behavior by reminding everyone about her difficult childhood. As Cary noted, we all have our stuff and as adults, we do the best we can to deal with that stuff. So purportedly LeeAnne tells everyone who will listen a piece of gossip about Cary stealing her husband? How does LeeAnne think her childhood trauma has anything to do with Cary's marriage? Since when could women steal husbands? What century does LeeAnneworld take place in? Why in the heck is the marriage of Cary and Mark the result of anyone’s fault -- or worse yet as LeeAnne keeps putting it, the crime of "theft?" Cary and Mark began dating after their marriages were over, which ended in them being happily married to each other. Who are any of us to judge? We've all seen that Cary and Mark have a strong and loving marriage. Why is LeeAnne harshly judging Cary? It makes no sense and LeeAnne should apologize to Cary and Mark, and then drop it forever. Cary is a smart, accomplished woman who is also a loving mother to two step-children and Zuri. One doesn't have to be married or be a mother to be a complete woman, that’s for sure, but attacking someone’s marriage with vicious gossip, especially when the person you’re attacking has children, seems beyond the pale.
Bullying is a problem all across America, and has harmed so many young people that I tremble as I type those words. Bullying has no place in our society, schools, workplaces, or communities. Let’s have a look at the definition of bullying and then see if that definition lines up with any behavior we have seen this season: Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children [or adults] which involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both victims and bullies may have serious, lasting problems.
In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:
• An Imbalance of Power: Kids [or adults] who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
• Repetition: Bullying behaviors tend to happen more than once or have the potential to happen often.
Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and intentionally excluding someone from a group. (Source: StopBullying.gov)
I don’t want to wear out the metaphor, but again, LeeAnne’s words and behavior this past season align with the definition of bullying. I personally was bullied. So in my opinion, Cary was right to call LeeAnne a bully based on LeeAnne's words and actions to all of us. LeeAnne’s bullying was real, palpable, and inexcusable. Cary’s courage to confront it should be commended. All of us should re-acquaint ourselves with the definition of bullying because it’s a cancer on our communities and we need to eradicate it wherever we find it.