Someone pinch me, please! After all the years of watching the Housewives Reunions, here we are at ours. This is truly a surreal moment to say the least! There were so many emotions going into it including ummmm, sitting on set with the one and only Mr. Andy Cohen! Can I just say what a cool cat he is?!? He's a kind soul (and pretty sexy) and you can sense that he truly cares about his Housewives. Love that! Ok, I'm dancing around the task at hand. Let's jump into the nitty gritty…
Porn. Let's get this out of the way and cleared up for good. It's simple - I'm not a "porn star". I have NEVER and would NEVER perform real actual sex on camera! I would never do X rated films. "Black Tie Nights" was a RATED R acting job. I played a fun character named "Cooper". Yes, this series involved nudity and simulated love scenes. I own that. My lady bits never even touched the male actor. I was protected and wore a flesh colored panty liner type thing and the male actors wear a flesh colored wrap around their bits. Let's stop a moment and think about this.. almost every actor on the planet has done Rated R nude love scenes. Many of whom are full frontal nudity which is considerably more graphic than my series. Ever watch the wildly popular Game Of Thrones or remember the love scenes in Californication?? My point exactly. I never tried to hide that acting job and it's for the world to see on my resume of TV and film work on IMDb. I figured one of the ladies would have brought it up at some point during the season and I was prepared for it, but they didn't. The day after our cast announcement was made, the media sensationalized this story worldwide and represented me as something I'm not.
Was I shocked? HELL YES! But, I never shed one tear about it because I know who I am and do not take on the labels other people try to give me including the names my fellow cast mates try to give me. Porn star, lapdog, 's bitch, sidekick, etc.. ARE ALL JUST LABELS. Name calling is beneath me and there are quite a few I could have lowered myself and given to the ladies, but I'm proud that I rose above it and remained true to who I am. That's the beauty of maturing and gaining wisdom through my experiences. I'm not perfect. I've made some sloppy decisions in my life and I own every single one of them. I just try to do my best every single day. I'm a work in progress. I'm a child of God. I'm a wife, daughter, sister, friend, mentor, inspirationista, artist, humanitarian and purpose-driven woman. I'm no one's side bitch...except Aaron's :-)
Overall, I view the Reunion as a success. As you know from watching this season, I love open communication, going straight to the horse's mouth, seeking the truth and ultimately finding resolution. Seeing Cary be vulnerable and allow herself to show such emotion makes me want to get to know her more. We are all our most beautiful when we let down the walls, remove the masks and let others see into our heart. LeeAnne and Cary needed that moment after everything they have been through. I was hearing all those rumors about their marriage, but I flat out asked Cary to her face about it. She told me the whole story, but at the end of the day- it's really nobody's business. It's between Cary, Mark and his ex. Gossip is so ugly and I'm glad LeeAnne could own her actions, be a big person and apologize. Sometimes giving someone in pain a big hug is all that's needed. I loved that moment! Now it would have been even better without the 'tete a tete' betweenStephanie and LeeAnne. It's one of those moments when I'm like… LEEEEEAAAAAANNE! Zip it girl.
We could literally feel the air change whenMarie walked on set. I am super sensitive to negative energy and have learned the tools to protect myself from it. Switching seats seemed like the logical solution because I wanted to feel safe. I was told I couldn't move from that couch so I put on my "big girl panties" and grabbed by ladyballs and dealt with it. To this day, I'm in shock that Marie is unwilling to speak the truth. It makes me crazy when people can so easily lie to your face. It's difficult to see myself get so upset, but I just can't hold it in when someone continually cuts you off when you're speaking and lies, lies, lies. Those are my hot buttons...liars and interrupters. It saddens me we live in a society where lying and being rude are basically accepted. I challenge us all to go against the grain and live with more integrity. Remember, it's not about the silly poop story, but about the intention behind WHY it was told and then lying about it.
I thought it was hilar when Andy said this poop story was the craziest topic he's witnessed!! I mean really, have you even heard so many grown women discuss bodily functions this much? Back to the real topic. Betrayal. Betrayal is like a death and I feel terrible for LeeAnne and what's she's gone through. I'm sure it makes us all appreciate our friends even more who honor and respect us. When Marie left the set, LeeAnne and I both broke down in tears. I cry when I get pissed. I was pissed she lied again. I was pissed she betrayed LeeAnne. I was pissed at myself for yelling again. I was pissed I allowed her to upset me.
This situation is done. It's over. Marie admitted to hiring a social media team to harass LeeAnne and I. She has revealed herself and regardless, I have STILL kept girl code with her to protect her daughter. I can lay my head down peacefully at night because I forgive her. Forgiveness is a daily practice for me and it's more healthy for my well being than it is for the other person. I actually feel sorry for her and will continue to pray for her to find her way to living her truth. I want that for all women because living your truth is living in freedom.
After spending those 16 years growing and healing in LA, this past year has turned a spotlight on the areas I still have some healing and growing to do. Putting yourself out there with all your raw tender areas, quirks, flaws and issues takes tremendous bravery! I'm proud of all the ladies for being brave and taking on this challenge. My calling and purpose in life is to help empower women to move past circumstances that are holding them back and to live life with more courage. That's why I coined the term "use your lady balls"!! My belief is that God chose each of us for our unique qualities and to be each others mirrors. Brandi, Cary, LeeAnne, Steph, and I are all so different, but we are the same when it comes to having big hearts and a big pair of ladyballs. I am confident we all learned from one another this season and I look forward to continuing to learn, grow, laugh, cry and get to know each other better. It made me so happy to hear Brandi say how she and Bryan are stronger than ever and to hear Stephanie say she has found her voice. LeeAnne and I have been through so much this year! I was gone in LA for a really long time, but despite that time or distance being thrown into a reality show pressure cooker reconfirmed to us how strong our connection and loyalty really is. I'm most proud of that and I know it's truly a Divine connection! God knew we needed each other all those years ago and He knew we would need each other now.
Wishing you all blessed summer! I'll keep up with my daily #Tiffirmations on Twitter so make sure to follow me @TiffanyHendra
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All my love,