Thank you all so much for continuing this difficult journey with us. Your outpouring of support and love for us brings us so much joy.
I must say, I was shocked to seeStephanie Hollman mention she started seeing a counselor as a result of our falling out. I am not a mean girl, nor do I condone mean girl behavior. (I do, do humor though). I think that Stephanie overreacted to her counselor and it left me in tears myself. There are always two sides to every story and if you will recall, LeeAnne Locken told Stephanie that I needed to check my calendar etc. well this is what I was told when I tried to make things right before I cut her off. It is upsetting to me because of watching, I feel like Stephanie wasn’t in tune with me when I was desperately trying. But now the role feels reversed and I’m seeing how much pain she is in. It kills me because I hate seeing her like this, I honestly want to jump through the screen and tell her it can be the same. I'm sorry I didn't think I could hurt my best friend like this. I thought that by her social media and relationship withCary Deuber, she didn't need or want me. I went through months of pain and hurting and didn't feel loved or respected by her and now I have purposely caused this pain and I’m sorry. All I can do is ask myself, how do we meet in the middle, now it hurts, even more, knowing I hurt her…
As far as the text, I wasn't trying to throw Stephanie under the bus, I did, however, feel like if Cary said these things, LeeAnne should be cautious of her relationship with Cary. I didn't know that they were speaking about Stephanie and I. So watching it makes sense. Stephanie was trying to warn me and I was trying to warn LeeAnne. It’s the circle of caution when it comes to these relationships and you're not quite sure where you stand. So being honest is the most important thing. Having lunch with Cary and her denying saying these words made me feel as if Stephanie might be trying to play me. I know that's not who Stephanie is but in that moment I just thought she shouldn't have sent this and put the target on Cary for saying these things. It just felt so intentional and for what reason?
I was excited to judge the dog contest and even more excited that LeeAnne steamed a wiener (haha!) and wore it (laugh cry emoji). I'm living for hot dog day every year now. Thank you LeeAnne! America thanks you. #hotdoggoals
However, I was also wanting to see Stephanie and talk but once again, we are around a bunch of bitches. (No pun intended)
LeeAnne confronting Stephanie about the text was awkward and hostile. I know Leeanne knows she can’t treat Stephanie like this, but Leeanne is pissed and wants her to know. I feel like I made a mistake because of the way that LeeAnne is handling the situation. I should have probably asked how therapy was going before telling her about the text because clearly, she needs to keep going. I do love her as a hot dog though, AMAZING!
Thank you again for watching, hold tight because it's gonna get even better.
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