D'Andra: It Makes Me Sad Brandi Had no Intention of Getting to Know Me

D'Andra Simmons explains that mama bear meltdown - and discusses her fraught relationship with Brandi Redmond (or lake thereof). 

Well, the Momma Drama has returned, but this time around it isn’t Momma Dee Drama, its Step Momma drama! As I have said, and many of you have experienced, being a step mom is not an easy job. I give props to all the step moms out there who do this job with grace and composure, which is NOT what I displayed this week.

This is the second time that Keatin had said he wanted to live with us, and it did not work out. The first time, we had enrolled him in school and prepared his room and even prepared to get him a car, and he canceled his trip to Dallas two days before he was to arrive. This time, he gave it all of two months! Both times, he was the one who came to us saying he needed a change of environment and asked for help. When faced with the fact that all that Jeremy and I have done for Keatin is for naught, it is a hard pill to swallow. We only have his best interests at heart.

Hearing from Jeremy that Keatin wanted to leave really caused a mix of emotions in me. I felt as though I personally had failed him as his stepparent, and if I had done something different or been more available to him, he would have given Dallas a chance. My heart was broken and I was blaming myself. During that time, I was so busy with work and Chairing two events, and I wasn’t home as often as I would have liked to have been to give guidance to Keatin, or to listen to his concerns and his opinions on what he wanted for his future. My frustration and anger were totally and completely out of love for my stepson. And, I love him A LOT!

Like any parent when their child decides to do something different than what they had in mind, I was also MAD. I felt that Jeremy and I had given and given and GIVEN so much. We provided so many opportunities for him to succeed and try to discover his place in life, and he cast it aside in one split second. It felt like a stab in the heart, back, AND soul to me. He didn’t appreciate all that his father and I had done for him and that hurt.

This mixture of emotions obviously came back to play later in the episode, when Jeremy and I confronted Keatin on wanting to leave. That conversation, as you could tell was extremely hard for me…NOT my best moment! I felt betrayed and unappreciated, and when Keatin rolled his eyes, that was all it took! To me, that is one of the most disrespectful things anyone can do in front of another person to show disdain.LeeAnne Locken, Kameron Westcott and I do it playfully, but Keatin wasn’t playing!

I am disappointed in my display of anger (maybe I’ll make an appointment with LeeAnne’s Anger Management Therapist, Elizabeth!). We all have a breaking point.
I had reached it that day in the kitchen. I wish I had handled the situation differently, but Keatin knows I reacted that way because I truly care about him.

Looking back, I should have let Jeremy take the reins on this one in a more dominant way. For those who are thinking, “Wait, this is none of YOUR business because this is NOT YOUR son, Keatin is Jeremy’s son, and therefore you need to stay out of this!” Well, let me set you straight on that one. Jeremy made it very clear from the day we were married that since I am his wife, these are our children and my children now, too. Therefore, I have an equal say in parenting, which is what my husband wants for our family. So, I am not out of bounds when I try to co-parent with my husband according to his wishes for our family.

Keatin, Jeremy, and I are in a great place now. In fact, we were able to visit with him just last week in South Carolina and we had a blast! All is good in the Lock family now and we are all LOCKED IN LOVE once again!

Hearing thatBrandi Redmond had a “no LeeAnne in the house” rule made me very sad for my bestie LeeAnne. Yes, she can at times lose her cool and snap, we ALL can, but that isn’t a reason to ban someone who is supposedly your FRIEND from your home. If I consider someone my friend, I would NEVER forbid them in my home, just out of a place of respect, love, and plain decency. If you have a rule like that in place, then you don’t have a legitimate friendship…end of sentence.

Brandi saying that LeeAnne’s potty mouth is the reason she can’t come into her house because of her children, well, that is the “pot calling the kettle black” if I may say so myself. When Brandi said later toCary Deuber andStephanie Hollman that the reason LeeAnne wasn’t allowed into her home is that her kids saw here crying last year when LeeAnne hurt her feelings, now that is a legitimate reason, but here we go with the flip-flopping narrative again. Previously, at Stephanie’s new house, it was because of LeeAnne’s potty mouth. Which is it? A case of potty mouth or hurt feelings? I don’t think Brandi can accurately keep track of her fairytales…I mean stories.

I articulated that Brandi and I didn’t really click, because after multiple social interactions and trying to be open and friendly, I perceived that there was no effort put forth from her to get to know me. It was glaringly apparent that she didn’t have any interest in being my friend, or getting to know me. After watching her conversation with Cary and Stephanie in Memphis, I was right.

It makes me sad that Brandi obviously had no intention of getting to know me, as I truly did want to get to know her. Cary had intimated that we could find a common ground between us. That being said, now knowing that NOT having a friendship with me isn’t a loss to her, I see that we truly just don’t click. We are very different people, which is true. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just makes having something in common even harder to find. Hopefully, Brandi will share with me who is doing her facelift, so I can check them out when I am ready! HA! HA!

Since the relationship between LeeAnne, Brandi and Cary was skating on very thin ice already, I surmised that Cary spending a weekend with Stephanie, and Brandi would seal LeeAnne’s fate, and Cary’s opinion of LeeAnne would go back to the way it was last year. Any relationship that LeeAnne and Brandi had over the summer was over as well, now that Brandi’s playmate and other half, Stephanie, was back on the scene. The relationship Cary and LeeAnne had both worked so hard to foster after a year of tension was certainly doomed.
Until next week! Here’s to love and peace (to quote Travis Hollman) and better parenting (to quote me)!

Thanks for reading!

Love,

D'Andra Simmons

PS. I wasn’t the one who made the zip code comment in my blog, so let’s get this straight once and for all!

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