LeeAnne: Why Am I the Only "Bad" Person in the Group?

"I am really getting tired of being the only one who has to own their s---," says LeeAnne of the drama between her and Cary on the yacht.

Hola, and welcome to the Mexican rodeo — where apparently tequila and bull go hand-in-hand! So, grab your shot of choice, and let’s jump right into it!

OK. So, when Cary Deuber called Brandi Redmond a liar, and Stephanie Hollman then slowly leaned back, I sensed that Steph would be siding with Brandi in this. So, does that mean Brandi is telling the truth? Well, it sure seemed that way that night at the table. If you watch Steph closely, when Cary asks her to basically “back her up,” Steph can’t even open her eyes. That tells me that Brandi did in fact call Stephanie and divulge the information that was being repeated at the table. I truly feel bad for the doctor who “killed someone on his table.”

After listening to Cary’s confessional, when she says that I turned the conversation around on her, all I have to say is this: Yes, I did! She was repeating and accusing me of things that I never said, so duh! Of course I took a moment to bring clarity to the conversation. The fact that she thought she was “best friends” with Brandi and yet found it so easy to turn on her is truly not my problem! #BYE

Oh! And when Cary asked about what my “just hands” comment (which she calls a threat) and her comment about Brandi’s doctor have in common, I realized how far from reality Cary is. Hello — one led to the other!

OK. Moving on to the most fun part of the trip.

OMG. Everyone, the night of the tequila bar is why I renamed “TEQUILA” to “TO-KILL-YA.” The club was an absolute blast, and it was nice to have a moment when D’Andra Simmons and I could just have fun, you know? I was also shocked at how much Steph and Brandi seemed to like us both that night, too. I think we renamed H & M that night as well, but you’ll have to ask Brandi about that. 

The next morning when Kameron Westcott told Cary that Brandi and Steph felt the total opposite of how they were acting the night before really put me back on the “oh well” train. Y’all, I am not good at flipping and flopping. I like to have an opinion and stick to it. It also makes me wonder, how do they really feel about me and D’Andra?

Steph and Brandi dressing up to portray D’Andra and myself was hilarious! The headband for D’Andra, the straight hair for me — NAILED IT! But then, as usual, Steph had to take it to a new all-time high/low. “OMG! You look like a STAR! Like, that’s exactly what she would wear to go grocery shopping or you know, sign autographs on the street.” Really? What happened to the nice Steph that I went drinking with the night before? Maybe alcohol determines the personality. Now, let’s talk about the part where they went into our room. I am not happy about that. I took “sexual chocolate” on day one to hide it, and I hid it over the balcony outside. How it ended up in bed is a question for Steph and Brandi, LOL! Irritations aside, I will say that seeing this silly/fun side of Brandi makes me miss the friendship I thought we had, as well as the opportunities that could have been fun for us together!

Looking back and watching the back-and-forth on the boat makes me realize how clueless I really was to everything going on. Maybe I’m more like my grandmother than I realized, because she loved to stay clueless and happy! I can tell you this: Cary going for Brandi on the boat isn’t helping their relationship. Am I happy that Brandi repeated what I said? Of course not, but on some level, I understand it.

Now, obviously I don’t enjoy being confronted about things I’ve done that I wish I hadn’t. Nobody likes that. But sometimes, you have to own it. If you look at my face when I’m confronted for the first time about what I said, you’ll see MASSIVE DISAPPOINTMENT. The truth is that I don’t remember saying it. Obviously I did (we have all heard the recordings), but the look on my face is exactly how I felt about myself: Utter disappointment. I should never have said it under any circumstances, so for that I am sorry! When it comes to something I did that I’m ashamed of, I own it. Didn’t you hear me after being confronted? I said, “I’LL OWN THAT.” But, here we go again — me owning my s----y mouth, and Cary not owning ANYTHING. She wants it to be “just a joke.” Well duh, so do I, but guess what? It’s not for either of us. I am really getting tired of being the only one who has to own their s---.

I was so confused when Brandi said, “I love to hate her, but I hate to love her.” Like, I keep trying to find the positive somewhere in that statement, but I’m coming up short. I was sitting only two feet away while they were talking about me, which is why I stepped in. For Cary to say in her confessional that I am “always apologizing” is ridiculous. Who was doing all the backwards non-apologies just last week?

Finally, Stephanie used her voice and did so perfectly. When she said that every time there is a negative thing, it makes her remember every single bad thing I have done. This finally explains her actions towards me. The question is, how many apologies does it take to move forward? If Steph never lets go of the past, then there’s really no hope for a better future.

OK, let’s move on to when Cary said that when she hears something hurtful, she lashes out. HELLO. Uh, YEAH. That’s what people do; it’s normal. So, why is it OK for her to have the same reaction as me, but I’m the only “bad” person in the group?

And, was it really necessary when Steph made that nasty comment about me being Tyson over Ali? No. When will Steph look at this footage and see how mean she really is?

God bless D’Andra. When she stepped in to say, “LeeAnne should not be the only one apologizing,” I was really thankful. Because at that time, I was giving up. I was tired, in pain from the surgery, and felt like the girl at the party who everyone just wished would leave. Physical and emotional pain all over. How much of that is one person supposed to take? Well, at least I wasn’t “panicking” and saying anything bad about someone else. I mean, finally, Cary decided she was ready to apologize… for that “joke.” Really, Cary? GREAT apology — not! That was not a real apology, and she knew it. What should I expect, though? Same ole, same ole — still not owning anything. Thank goodness I was and am too exhausted to care.

When Steph started saying that had something to talk about with me, you can literally see the tears welling up in my eyes. I just couldn’t take anymore, so thank goodness she was joking! And then BAM. Here comes that big THANG! How in the hell? So, I looked at it as a “teachable” moment by trying to explain to Steph that, as Brandi’s best friend, she should want her friend to “do better,” which of course went straight down the toilet. Where is D’Andra when you need her? I could feel the lines being drawn in the sand with this group, and sadly I just didn’t have the strength on that boat to try any harder than I did.

So, thank you all for sticking with us. It’s only going to get bumpier. Now, I’m ending it with the words of Kameron Wescott: SUCK IT! LOL!

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LeeAnne Locken

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