Reality Check

Alex talks vineyard drama, critiques Cat's insult slinging technique, and more.

It’s a beautiful morning in Sag Harbor and the air is getting just a little bit cooler already. I’m thinking about DC and sun hitting the water of the reflecting pool in front of the monument. Yikes, clearly I haven’t had enough coffee, so enough of that sappy nonsense and let’s talk about the housewives.

One of the many interesting things about reality TV is seeing people unmasked, and this episode we’re finally beginning to see that with the Salahis. The show is catching up with the reality that was spread all over the news, which, although it began with the White House state dinner, seems to have stretched back to the Congressional Black Caucus. Who in their right mind would want to attend any party so badly that they would sneak in a side door? Who would invite people to a vineyard that looked like it hadn’t produced a grape in years, initiate a grape stomp with grapes that apparently came from the supermarket, and pretend that nothing was out of the ordinary? It’s meant to be a reality show, and clearly a working vineyard does not seem to be a part of the Salahis’ reality. If I go in front of the cameras and tell you I’m a 6’3” man with red hair and 10 children, saying so doesn’t magically make it true.

Was glad to see a sweet family scene at Lynda’s condo, even if the kids were wearing footie pajamas. Those moments put the “real” in reality TV, and also made me hungry. I think it’s time for brunch.

We missed a few of the men this episode – where were Rich, Paul and Charles? Hiding out, apparently. In any case, it was fun to see Ted Gibson and Jason Backe open their DC salon, though there seemed to be confusion over who helped more, Michaele or Mary. One thing I don’t understand – if Oasis donated the wine, why didn’t we see it?

Cat doesn’t like black for dining rooms. Note to self, if I meet her, I’d better not have her over to the house as I don’t think she will like my floors or chairs. Maybe she should take a page from the Ab-Fab playbook and go a little further – she’s kind of in no man’s land with the half insults. You’ve started, so go for it. More insults, please, and could they also be funnier? C’mon, everybody loves Patsy…

Why on earth did the grape stomp need to be a competition? Oh well, it looked like it could have been fun. If it was clear (as it seemed to be to the ladies) that the grapes weren’t actually going to be used for winemaking, they could have grabbed that Doberman and thrown him into the vat, too. I’d have liked to see a bit more of everyone’s shock at the pretense; that was the most interesting part for me.

Who wants to know that Tareq was referring to at the end of the episode? Criminal charges? For what? From the previews it looks like we’ll find out next week, so until then, enjoy the last week of summer and don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @mccordalex