Failure examples include:
Do you own the home featured on the show and on Bravotv.com?
Did you send your Financial Statement over in disappearing spy ink to Stacie to protect your privacy?
Did you donate any more wine than the one sparkling wine bottle you sabraged onto Lynda's badonkadonk for Paul's birthday party?
Man Rule: Look people in the eye when you are talking to them.
Failure to do so will give off the perception that you are either hiding something or not telling the truth. Eyes are often called the window to the soul and failure to maintain eye contact is disrespectful to the person you're lying, I mean, talking to.
Exceptions: You have no soul.
See also: If you can fake sincerity, the rest is easy.
Man Rule: Your wife should never have to tell you to apologize.
Especially to another woman. If you're unable to recognize you have just screwed the pooch big-time with a member of the opposite sex, you should be quarantined for the duration with a 24-7 ration of Oprah and Dr. Phil reruns until properly sensitized. In the case of disagreement, yes, women should encourage men to apologize in an abundance of relationship caution, but to be "told" you have to apologize indicates your internal filters need to be recalibrated and tuned up for life outside the cave.
Exceptions: Guy's Night Out (GNO)
I am not apologizing while getting my drink on, "Sorry For Partying" rules are in effect while men are in their "If I had feelings they would be hurt" zone. Women, we need this precious downtime from shouldering responsibility for always being wrong under the Hilary Clinton Act (HCA) that declared the #1 Rule that was obvious to women for centuries, "Men are always wrong," which was amended recently to add HCA #2 Rule: "When in doubt, see Rule #1."
See also: Darwin's Guide to Evolutionary Relationship Building
RICH, your blog was HILARIOUS, HONEST, AND ON POINT!!! That was a great recap of the reunion. I can only imagine how frustrating it is to share a REALITY experience with a couple that live in "LALA LAND"(no pun intended). To HAVE no choice in dealing with them and not not be able to get ONE STRAIGHT ANSWER had to be draining. I think you guys have a great story, and it's wonderful to see such a fortunate family give back. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!
I knew I was going to love your wife when I saw that she put a lock on her fab closet. I love your family. I agree with last week's comment that your family should have their own show. The Man Rules are spot on.
That was, by far, the funniest and on-point blog I've ever read on any of the RH series! You and Mary are definately the couple that I could invision carrying around a bottle or two of wine with.
Good looking and funny! What a combination. Rich, you certainly have been well-schooled in Man Rules. Your wife should be proud.
I very much enjoyed watching you and your beautiful family this past season and I hope you'll all be back for another one.
Rich you are right on and hysterically funny too. We never found out what you did for a living, but you must bring a lot of wit and humor to it.
Mary is the Harriett Nelson of our time. You are Ozzie. The show went way off course with the Fruit & Nut scenario but I liked the idea of Mary's honesty even with the closet. She's laid back and doesn't glorify being rich and throwing into fan's faces like Fruit & Nuts. It's refreshing that the two of you have conversations that relate to others and help guide others to resolve issues. Your discussions about Lolli were respectful to one another and the points were valid and a resolution appears to have worked. I hope you and Mary are back next year and we get to see more Take Care and God Bless
Rich, You and your family are awesome! Love the blog! You need to write a book; although I'm not sure on what.
What fun images! You, Mary and your family are awesome. We all need to get over the Salahi's simply because they bask in attention good or bad. I refuse to feed them. I must say, I think Michaele finally found some folks who will say no to her.
Mary's charity got hijacked and after seeing the bonus clip, I am more than sad about it. Reality tv should lift us up, NOT show us the worst of humanity. Fortunately, I think the humanity among the other wives and husbands more than made up for the unfortunate Salahi's.
I think in each comment I've made, I've apologized for being a viewer. C'mon! It's embarrassing to admit to watching reality tv, yet here I am and then reading and commenting on blogs, no less. But I seriously enjoyed most moments, except for the excruciating moments of thinking the Salahis might come around and then realizing that fake people can't find "real."
Someone in Roanoke, VA thinks you guys are really great!
Great comments! Andy should let you be on WWH to dissect the Salahis. Also you're hot! Too bad your wife is gorgeous, a wonderful mother and soul mate, etc. etc., cuz you could have your own bachelor show.
Rich; Your funny and a nice guy. Your wife also made you proud this season, as she conducted herself like a lady. Your also totally correct about the man rules and hopefully Tareq can get a psychologist to teach them to him as he does not have ANY big boy pants. His wife needs a psychologist because she is clearly emootionally ill. Wish you and Mary all the best!
LOVE YOUR 'MAN RULES' and your examples after each(well failed examples since someone doesn't understand these rules or ANY rules for that matter)!!!! I wish you and your family nothing but the best and hope to see you back for Season 2!!! (as well as the rest of the cast except for Bonnie and Clyde! Those two need to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Good luck to you and your family!!
Awwww Richard, now you're just showing off, lol. Where can I get a copy of "Common Sense for Dummies"? If this book doesn't exsist, write it and do it fast. And please send me a bottle of Oasis wine for the idea. I look forward to seeing more of you and your family next season. Watch out for Donny on the back 9. Sincerely, Rachel
Great Blog! Entertaining and on point as well... wonder if the guy (sorry, I can't even qualify him as a man due to his wicked infractions of the man rules) will read this and get a clue? Perhaps we should pitch in and buy him one as he allegedly doesn't pay for his.
Rich, I agree with Patti Lee, you are HOT !!! Your support of your wife and children is awesome a very hot detail! Strong women LOVE strong men! Plus, very nice on the eyes!
Rich, You're so right on with those 'Man Rules'! As a woman, I am so glad you brought them up. Every woman can appreciate a man who has those 'Man Rule' ethics and the backbone to use them. (Rick, please write a book on this!) Regarding Tareq and his fatuous swirming avoidance in answering your Qs: He's probably just uncomfortable because of all the poop building up in his unchanged diaper. Mahalo, Aloha808
Thank you so much Rich for taking the time to 'blog'. I feel as though Mary and Lolly and your kiddoes I do not know are fortunate to have such a caring, intelligent man to be there for them. I am a young 74 yr old Texas woman and you seem to be made out of the same cloth as our guys. Hang in there and try to get the Salachis to understand the difference between lies and truth!! Much respect, Frances
Hilarious!!! You and Mary are really fab together, and hats off to her for coming out of her shell with both barrels last night, it's about time and much overdue. No harm done, just the facts and a little bit of Bam to go on the invaders from whatevah the heck planet they came from. You and Lynda should team up and write a book on all the rules, sort of a Venus/Mars thing, but with humor and wisdom.......just some common sense puhleeeze, this world could sure use a word or two.
You are my favorite real husband! Personally I would like to read more of your clever writing. Maybe you should consider a book (it seems to be a real housewives next step these days!). I would definitely buy a copy. Thanks for making me laugh!
I'm so glad you blogged, I love your take on things. Isn't it frustrating when you can't get a straight answer. Thank=you for a great season!!!
I LOVE THIS BLOG POST!!!!! Your Man Rules are awesome--and most of them are not solely just for men--women could live by these rules, too. Thanks!!!
Well said...BRAVO! I wished we were able to see more of the Amons instead of the foolish behavior of the Salahis.
Rich, You hung in there very well and survived the experience. Everyone, in their less viewable way & with less chance of friends seeing it, experience weird, lying, cons artists to a lesser or greater degree. We become strangely attracted and constantly confused by them. What I love about your season was that a really BIG con artist snuck into your lives and you all were strangely attracted and constantly confused by the two of them. This helped me put my own life experience in perspective in that if it could happen to all of you guys, then, of course, it did happen to me. The best that can be said of them is nothing at all. My rule #1: If you can't say anything nice about someone, try to say nothing at all. Congrats on a great season - you and your family are terrifically real.
I waswatching the reunion. Did Tareq really just say he threw a glass of wine in Linda's face because his wife has MS? Whatin the World!
Thank you for your comments. You brought out some really good points. I hope they will be taken to heart by certain people and they can move forward and in the future be better people.
BRAVO ! BRAVO ! BRAVO !...Your the MAN! WOW what a reunion, everyone showed their true colors. Wish I could have been there in person so I could share my thoughts and opinions about all of the shameless actions that took place during the show. Just as well, at my age of 79 years young I would not have been very polite or been able to behave myself. Take good care Barbara Oh, tell Mary I remember Arthur Godfrey I use to watch his show, he was the greatest entertainer , also I can see a resemblance .
Dear Rich, I love your blog. You are a breath of fresh air and your messages are entertaining. I have really enjoyed getting to know your family. Love Mary and Lolly. Wish our families could hang out. I thing it would be a blast. Looking forward to next season.
I AGREE,"..eventually you run out of people to blame and there is just you". AS reprehensible as the Salahis are, and make no mistake they are strange and criminal, your family joined the show knowing their history. While severe damage came out while filming, it seems to me that Mary was game enough to sign up for the show, Salahis and all. Their reputation preceeded them, and you have no one to really blame other than yourselves for being part of the DC show, highjacked and all.
So funny and entertaining, it's nice to see someone not take life too seriously, relax and enjoy whatever you can take from it. It was very impressive how you handled yourself in what was a really pathetic spin of circling from two very self absorbed lost in la la land people. They really deserve each other, but it is sad that they do not recognize how much mental health care they need. Body language is very telling and one could sure tell by their faces, they did know they had been caught, so they just kept spinning.
It appears you and Mary have a strong marriage and support each other as well as being good role models for your children. Good job! When someone is doing harm to you, making a choice to remove yourself from them is the best decision. Hope the next season, should there be one, is minus 1 couple and some highlights can be put on living a "real" life filled with "normal" events, rather than what they added or imploded into the show. All the best to you and your family.
Another honest and funny/real blog! Well done! Your family is wonderful and I love the interaction between you all. You showed us a "real" family (not the Candy mt. kind) and for that we fell in love with you all. I thought it was only right that all of the "men" (and the one little smudgy elf) got to be on the reunion shows because you were all very much part of the season. Also I loved you guys being there as the protectors of your women.
You maintained your family dignity and rose above the sparkly muck! Well done! Hope your family is on again next season and that it is a NON sparkly season!