DC Guys

Rich Amons gives us a tutorial in Man Rules and explains how they were violated this season. 

Oct 15, 2010

 

In the Bravolebrity Land of Make Believe TV, the One Eyed, Rainbow Colored, Flying Unicorn is King of Candy Mountain! Never before have I ever been engulfed in such a delusional surreal world as on the Real Housewives of DC Reunion set at the National Hysterical Society in DC. I am not here to kick wide-eyed smiling kittens, as that is just piling on at this point and is not how I roll, and who wants to squash the love out of someone who oozes love out of their very pores to begin with? Not this guy! And if that's the kind of love that keeps Candy Mountain sparkling with happy Double Rainbows and protects it's two citizens from reality asteroids crashing into it, it's not for me to judge if it works for them. I believe in a God that protects fools, drunks, and delusional sociopaths with equal fervor, so I am not about to mess with Him either about it!

Having said that, I would like to discuss Rich's Man Rules Violations this season that a lot of you, mostly women mind you, have asked me about. There is a code among men, often unspoken and passed along from one generation to the next through man rituals such as fishing, hunting, golf, and watching NASCAR (hence women's lack of knowledge and understanding on the subject matter, kind of like my feelings). Man Rules have been silently agreed to amongst the vast majority of males on this planet for centuries but perhaps not at Candy Mountain Winery? Man Rules cover a wide range of topics from every day guides to daily life (put the seat down) and rules of the road, to more esoteric and delicate matters such as love, family, and relationships (Never honk your car horn in the driveway to get your wife/GF to move faster). 

ManRule: You NEVER accuse someone's child of being investigated by the FBI and further claim that the FBI is monitoring your child's Facebook account and threaten that everyone is going to jail. 

See definition of NEVER if this is unclear.

The only exception to this ManRule is if FBI stands for Face Book Investigations and if convicted of a FB crime you will be quarantined in Farmville State Prison...