McGyver, Jack Bauer, ... Jason Turner?

Jason Turner swears that he did not use McGyver tactics to get into the Nigerian embassy. And no, Cat is not a racist.

Off to Nigeria!

One of my greatest joys in the 20 years Stacie and I have been together, has been leading the effort to find her birth parents. Funny story, I told her years ago that I was going to find them. She laughed back then. Now look where we are baby! We are off to Nigeria in November. With the trips we made to South Africa this year for Stacie's charity, this trip will be our third to the African continent in 7 months! Real talk: This is scary for Stacie. It's crazy seeing the back and forth between excitement and fear that Stacie goes through with this real-life reunion on the horizon. A point I must clear up from the show: I did not "sneak" into the Nigerian Embassy with the pizza man! I didn't know anyone, and truly did NOT have an invitation! There are huge security gates around the entire perimeter of the building, and as Stacie said, the pizza man was coming out at the same time. But for all of my MacGyver/Jack Bauer tactics, I was instructed, on my way out, that the gate door was open anyway -– it was during office hours! My unending gratitude to Stella, my sister from a different mister, without whose help and personal involvement this story, still unfolding, might still be untold. 

One last thing: Reality costs. I have been advised that I may need to bring my checkbook to meet Stacie's father in Nigeria. She is the eldest of his 11 children, total. I wonder, "Is Stacie worth three cows or four?" 

"Got To Be Real" 

A little piece of trivia: this is Stacie's FAVORITE song by Cheryl Lynn from back in the day. Guess what? This show stuff, at least what we shot, ain't fake. Planned out and scheduled, yes, but not fake. I've had so many of my friends and family say, "Do they give you lines, or tell you when to laugh, feed you jokes, etc.?" I read a show recap article in the Post after using the words "racially agnostic" during the Facebook email convo Stacie and I were writing -- which truly came out of my mouth from nowhere, but made perfect since to me at the time -– where the columnist says, "They really do give the husbands the best lines." What? That's crazy. I was offended more than when Andy called me Ebong!

And that's what I think is so interesting about this show business -- that "reality" is stranger than make believe. I definitely didn't realize how true that was before doing this show, and the people we met while doing it. If producers could even dream up the storyline, they would NEVER come up with some of the antics viewers see play out. Gate crashing? Come on! That's why we love to hate these shows. In "fake" TV, the script makes you believe that someone else's grass is greener. In "reality" TV, we see their grass is burnt brown, like ours. Maybe a lot worse than ours, in fact. You notice how reality show characters disappoint in some way constantly, yet we still love them (in some cases)? Too deep for you, huh? My bad, I'm new to this blogging thing. 

Cat Nip 

I think Cat's cool. She's smart and quick witted; has a wicked fun sense of humor, and no, she's not a racist. I really hope we can put that to bed, really. But we won't be able to. Nope. I just saw a blog today where Cat is on her defensive/offensive about race. How real do you want it? Here's my opinion, straight no chaser: Sure Cat hates the Salahis for messing up her White House dreams (and maybe a bite out of an apparently declining marital bliss), but I think her Tyra impersonation is the new "neck-roll" Caucasian classic, even more than Mary's "gurrfren" and "integrated salons" rambling. Dinner at Aunt Frances', the basement scene and Stacie's "uncomfortable" commentary, and finally, the confrontation with Erika, were arguably the most compelling parts of Cat's storyline. And I won't mention Cat using the word COLORED (OK, I guess I just did). Ironically, the "race card" put Cat on the Real Housewives map. You're welcome, gurrfren. LOL!

Salahi-ism 

We were preparing to go to the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation dinner (as invited, ticket-holding guests) that coming weekend, and several friends in town were clowning us like, "Are the Turner's crashing the CBC?" And Stacie was like, "Nope, no Salahi-ism in this camp!" I laughed so hard that night at home over my favorite meal (spaghetti), when Stacie came up with this term. And it's not mean in my opinion, just dead-on accurate. I truly wish Tareq and Michaele all the best with life and Oasis, which I would love to see reborn. And as a side note, I never want to see Michaele's face cry again. Ever.

JET