Stacie Scott Turner

Stacie says Cat's behavior was "rude" and "tasteless," but not racist.

on Aug 16, 2010

I was thrilled to invite the ladies to dinner - to show them the neighborhood I grew up in, introduce them to my extended family, and to have them partake in something that I regard as a core part of my life - Sunday dinner at Aunt Frances', which I have enjoyed since childhood. She opens her home EVERY Sunday to friends, family, and even strangers. All are invited and there are no fancy pretenses - just good down home cooking. So it baffled me as to why Cat had a completely different experience, and once again, used my family's home as yet another forum for her rude and disrespectful behavior. At best, If I boil the Cat-act last week down to "poor taste," with her antics this week, she has officially graduated to tasteless and rude, with a concentration in underexposed. We've all been places where any number of things may be much less than desirable but you "play it off" since there is never a reason to offend a kind host.

I was called "over-sensitive" last week, but come on... after dinner at Aunt Frances', it's not hard to surmise that Cat may be uncomfortable around the "unfamiliar." Or people with bad wine. Or people who disagree with her views... or people too busy to attend her events!! Good manners folks... there is no excuse for mean comments toward people who are opening their home and extending their hospitality, even if "the scene" is different than what you are accustomed to. Lynda, Ebong, Mary and Rich were also first time visitors, but extended themselves and were extremely polite and gracious. Cat's position: "I'm not going to make myself sick being polite" and "this is not my scene"? Wow. Her behavior was particularly offensive because it was directed at my family (neck roll, please!!). You can be rude to me, but DON'T mess with my family. It's that simple. When it comes to those I love, I don't care to analyze your motivation, your hang-ups or your issues - check yourself.

Fans of the show are asking me do I think Cat's a racist. Hold on a second. To me, there is a big difference between racism (ignorance based on perceived racial superiority) and situational discomfort (ignorance based on lack of exposure, but not necessarily superiority). Words of the Week for Cat should include: expansion, acceptance, silence, appreciation and respect. I find myself in situations every day where I am either the only female or the only African American person. This is just my reality-and no big deal. I feel blessed to float seamlessly between many circles, filled with different colors and cultures, and I love it!! And to be a part of the business, social, and political fabric of Washington, D.C. exposure is a must. At the end of the day, it. comes down to appreciating people and respecting
differences... and having good manners!