Cast Blog: #RHOM


This week's Associate Editor finds the truth about Texas, frosted glass, and Lea Black's surprise in the finale episode.

Ah Miamians, it's all over but the shouting, or should I say snip-ing. The finale of Miami ended with slings and arrows that were so subtle you almost missed them. But like a worm in a Michelle Bernstein salad, they, and the answers to this season's great mysteries, were there.

Follow along with us, as we harvest the edible flowers and answers from the finale.

Lea Black is from Texas, y'all

Heritage can be difficult, so Cristy wanted to remind us of people's native lands. Cristy wants us to know Lea's from Texas. And she's Roy Black's wife. And she probably has friends in Texas. We sort of already knew those things, but Cristy's voice lends something sinister to that statement. I think I get it. Lea should be offended(?), maybe? It does get a little more straight-forward from there. Larsa confronts Adriana, while everyone else attempts to avoid the talk of birds (eagles, baby birds, dinner party fowl) and focuses on buying. Then Adriana models a swimsuit (while wearing her conveniently coordinated hat), giving Cristy even higher heights of insults. After that Marysol made the fabulous assertion, "I've always been attracted to people that are missing a few screws. You're not normal unless you're missing a few screws." Perhaps Adriana should check for the screws under her hat, or maybe Cristy and Larsa can tell her where to find them.

Blackberries are addictive

Has Marysol learned nothing from Lea Black? Blackberries are addictive. One can barely function once it's in your clutches. There's no going back from that. And later, when you try to show your little French fry the gloves Lea Black just sent you, or the hat you need for her luncheon, he will look up only briefly enough to do an adorable French person's laugh as you leave the room before returning to his furious email drafting.

There's a reason hotels have frosted glass

On Adriana and Frederic's romantic vacation, Adriana finally got to put the moves she used in her class to good use. If the ladies thought trying on a swimsuit and strutting about was showy, I'm sure there will be plenty of comments about this display, but I will only say this: now I understand why hotels have frosted glass in the bedrooms -- it's for sexy romance rekindling times. Also, I learned that one should never touch a frosted glass door in a hotel room. And one other thing: the best way to cajole your beau into proposing is to slather him in mud, tell him your ex-husband keeps calling you, and then give him a little striptease. Works like a charm every time.Why did Elsa think there was food in that box?

If you're an observant Elsa fan like I, you notice that a few weeks ago when Marysol modeled wedding dresses, Mama Elsa inquired if perhaps food was in the box that held those gowns.

And after seeing the food at Marysol's dinner, we understand why.

If Elsa's been dining on delights from Philippe's company, like bagged salmon, she's probably used to receiving Philippe's dishes in pre-packaged form. It's not that she was confused, or becoming senile, she's just conditioned to have a Pavlovian like response to cardboard boxes. 

Obviously, the entire dinner party solved everything we've ever wanted to know about the Miami gals in general, as Elsa read their auras and surmised each lady into a very neat little package. There's also something to be said here to some of the ladies about respecting their elders, but we'll let Marysol's blog handle that.

And finally, if a Michelle Bernstein salad forms in the Florida Everglades, will a Miami Housewife eat it?

Oh Lea Black. You and Ashton Kutcher have so much more in common than a love for trucker hats and your starring roles in My Boss's Daughter (just kidding). You both love punking people. And so when you sent the gals white gloves and told them your luncheon would be phenoms, you weren't exactly lying. You were just Stretch Armstronging the truth a little bit. The greatest mystery of all was would the ladies manage to totter on their little stilettos to the field and find something delicious to eat. Of course, in the end, the answer was yes. When Michelle Bernstein (all over Bravo this week!) showed up to make an organic and wonderful salad, I knew they would pull through, even if they had to have a hamburger afterwards. And in the end wasn't the greatest mystery of all that none of the other ladies chose to use their cooking lesson to exact revenge? How could Lea have been the only one with that idea?

Well that's it beach bums. I beseech you to stay out of the sun and enjoy yourselves until we meet again.


Lea's Final Thoughts on the Season

Lea shares he status with each of the girls post-reunion.

It’s a Wrap!

It’s been an interesting season. I've been as honest and authentic as possible. I feel I owe that to myself and to you, our viewing audience. I've defended myself when wrongly accused or misinterpreted and in the process unfortunately, ugly truths have been exposed. I haven't gone out of my way to hurt anyone, but if I have, in the spirit of defending myself or setting the record straight, then so be it. I've had some fun, a few laughs, and experienced a lot of unnecessary stress.

I've showcased as many of my friend’s businesses as I could and got in a few shameless plugs for However, I haven't traded on the show or received any freebies, other than borrowing jewelry a couple of times! LOL! Some have interpreted it as being materialistic, I call it marketing. LOL!

I've listened to people re-invent the past, camouflage the present, and stoop to insults, foul language, and ugliness, all of which make me cringe. I've made closer bonds with some and made new friends along the way. I’ve learned to love and appreciate the work that goes into being on the show. Of course, I don't like what I see from time to time, but I hope I've maintained my integrity and what was important to me.I cracked a few jokes at others expense, made a few sarcastic remarks, and rolled my eyes a few times. I just can't (or won't) stop being myself. LOL! I've loved reading all of your comments and tweets. Even when I disagree, I'm OK with it if you were being intellectually honest. But the few comments which were mean-spirited, based upon uniformed conclusions, bias, or outside influence, I disregarded, ignored, and deleted. I have a low threshold for pettiness and unnecessary maliciousness.

Now, for the girls, in my usual style, let me be as honest as I can be.

Lisa: I feel she and I have a lot in common, and I'm closer to her than the others. I think she has a good heart, but is a little too sensitive. I think she often takes things too personally. She wants to have fun; she has a wonderful spirit and loves a good party. She did get on my nerves while attempting to be “the connector" but I understand the reasons and know her intentions were good. She can always depend on me, and we enjoy a loving and brutally honest relationship.

I'm the next closest to Joanna. I love a lot of things about her. Her love for animals, how much she works , her willingness to speak publically about her very personal problems, endure public scrutiny, and the manner in which she let's things go and moves on are all admirable. She doesn't live or die based upon the opinions of others. I am disappointed with some of the things that she said things during the reunion shows. I know she has suffered for it, regrets it deeply, and wishes she could take it back. But because of some of her choices, I have a reluctance to fully embrace or trust her. She knows exactly how I feel.
Alexia: For three seasons I have defended her, had her back, and given her the benefit of the doubt. Watching her all season, week after week, speak one insult or mean-spirited comment about me, knowing many of them were lies, causes me to wonder if she did it to patronize the hate club, play all sides, or if she has some hidden resentment towards me. Perhaps she did it for air time in an attempt to make herself more relevant? Maybe she just doesn't like me and doesn't want to say it? Whatever reason she got her digs in, it is not justifiable; they were uncalled for and she should regret it and say so.  Whenever the cameras weren’t rolling, she’d tell me how much she loves me and what great friends we are. So even though she threw me under the bus several times, as recently as the reunion, I'm not interested in going tit for tat. I wish her and Herman well, and I have a lot of empathy for her personal issues.

Now to Adriana:  Everyone knows how I feel about her. The one thing she did which showed her real inner self is when she ripped my son’s heart out and stomped on it. She intentionally, out of hatred, kept her son away from my son. To this day, I know that I’ve done nothing but try to help her or defend myself against her lies.  She has expressed her gratitude by stabbing me in the back. Whatever her motivation (I have my own conclusions), nothing will ever put Humpty Dumpty back together again. I can put the past in the past and be amicable towards her, but let me make the following point crystal clear: I will never fully trust her. And I really just don't like who she is. Since the show either she has changed or who she really is showed up. Either way it’s not compatible with who I am and what I want in my life.
Marysol: Again, I've called Elsa many times over the months, and I've continued to do so, whether Marysol chooses to believe it or not.

And to set the record straight, yes Frankie is a friend of mine. He is a comedian and has a You Tube channel of impersonations, he is a Broadway star and an entertainer. He only impersonates people he finds interesting. No, he never knew Elsa was sick and no, I didn't see him make the video, and no, I wasn't in the background. All of which can be proven. But if it was a big secret, he wouldn't have posted it on You Tube.

And by the way, he made the You Tube video months after the show was no longer filming. But of course Marysol brought it up about 5 months later, so she could justify and explain away her behavior of the season.

Overall, it’s been a learning experience. I've been surprised to discover how people will behave and how far they will go for attention, relevance, a storyline, or to make someone look bad. I've always said reality TV brings out the best and worst in people, and I stand by that belief.

My tag line “I live my life like everything matters, because I think it does" is true for me. As easy as it may be for some to just live in denial and brush things aside, I believe everything we do matters, including who we are to ourselves and to others. And who we are produces consequences, both good and bad. I choose to live my life trying to create good consequences and limit negativity.
Not all drama has to be negative. One doesn’t have to criticize others in order to justify their own poor behavior or make themselves feel better about their lives.

So maybe I'm a fit for reality TV or maybe I'm not, that would be up to the viewers. The one thing I am certain of is that my real friends, my family, my son, and my husband understand me and are more important to me than anything and everything else. They know that my charitable work, being true to myself, living like everything matters, giving more than I take, my sense of right and wrong, making a conscious effort to live a life of purpose, setting a good example for my son, and being mindful of future generations are the most important things in my life.

I love nice things and love living the good life, and sharing it, and I've earned every right to do just that. I will never apologize for my lifestyle, but I won't be defined by it either.

Thanks for watching. Life is time, and you took time out for us, and for that I am forever grateful. Whether you enjoyed me on the show or not, know one thing, I put as much into it as I possibly could, and then some. LOL! Thank you POP, our amazing producers and their incredible team, the Bravo Network, and the viewers for the opportunity to cross paths. Did we bond yet? LOL!

Spread the love and keep the peace.

Love, Lea

Please comment below, it would mean a lot to me to hear your final thoughts.


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A special thanks to Bravo digital for the privilege of letting us share through our blogs each week.