Spice Up Your 'Wives

This week Bravotv.com's Associate Editor finds the truth about Texas, frosted glass, and Lea Black's surprise in the finale episode.

Mar 29, 2011

Why did Elsa think there was food in that box?

If you're an observant Elsa fan like I, you notice that a few weeks ago when Marysol modeled wedding dresses, Mama Elsa inquired if perhaps food was in the box that held those gowns.

And after seeing the food at Marysol's dinner, we understand why.

If Elsa's been dining on delights from Philippe's company, like bagged salmon, she's probably used to receiving Philippe's dishes in pre-packaged form. It's not that she was confused, or becoming senile, she's just conditioned to have a Pavlovian like response to cardboard boxes. 

Obviously, the entire dinner party solved everything we've ever wanted to know about the Miami gals in general, as Elsa read their auras and surmised each lady into a very neat little package. There's also something to be said here to some of the ladies about respecting their elders, but we'll let Marysol's blog handle that.

And finally, if a Michelle Bernstein salad forms in the Florida Everglades, will a Miami Housewife eat it?

Oh Lea Black. You and Ashton Kutcher have so much more in common than a love for trucker hats and your starring roles in My Boss's Daughter (just kidding). You both love punking people. And so when you sent the gals white gloves and told them your luncheon would be phenoms, you weren't exactly lying. You were just Stretch Armstronging the truth a little bit. The greatest mystery of all was would the ladies manage to totter on their little stilettos to the field and find something delicious to eat. Of course, in the end, the answer was yes. When Michelle Bernstein (all over Bravo this week!) showed up to make an organic and wonderful salad, I knew they would pull through, even if they had to have a hamburger afterwards. And in the end wasn't the greatest mystery of all that none of the other ladies chose to use their cooking lesson to exact revenge? How could Lea have been the only one with that idea?

Well that's it beach bums. I beseech you to stay out of the sun and enjoy yourselves until we meet again.