Cast Blog: #RHOM

The Rhythm is Gonna Get You

Gloria Estefan makes an appearance on this week's episode, and in this week's blog, as we recap the catchiest moments.

Hello and welcome back to South Beach!

This week brought even more strars into the mix, including our first Gloria Estefan appearance! Finally! It's already been a week in Miami, people. How long were you going to make us wait!

I was going to have my entire recap this week be the lyrics from "Rhythm is Gonna Get You." And then I realized, that this week's turn of events has many insanely-apt parallels to the glorious jam.

Maybe you think I've been swayed by the irresistible groove, but to prove myself, I'm rounding up the major moments below based on the songs lyrical structure. Follow along as I recount my favorite moments, based upon the songs insanely-catchy verse/chorus structure:

(Long rockin' instrumental intro. Take this time to think warm thoughts)

O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh, O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah, Yah ya goh, O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh, O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah, O eh, o eh, Yah ya goh

We open the show with Adriana talking about her big night out cutting a rug last week, which fits perfectly with these vocal exercises. She tells Fredric she loves guys. How can you not when the music is pulling you in such ways? And what's a little "horse riding" as she called it last week, if the music moves you?

At night when you turn off all the lights, there's no place that you can hide, Oh no, the rhythm is gonna get'cha

Lea can't hide from the rhythm because she has so many phones that the rhythm can call her on! Seriously did you see the number of communication devices she was holding as her team was planning. She had a Blackberry and an amazing gold Razr phone (which kudos for you for still rocking that phone classic, Lea Black).

In bed, throw the covers on your head, You pretend like you are dead, But I know it, The rhythm is gonna gey'cha

We could easily change the lyric here to "throw the toque on your head," in reference of Cristy's amazing Cuban, crock-pot loving Chef Pepin! His enthusisasm was at about an 11! This man opens his cans with gutso. I adore him.

Rhythm is gonna get'cha, Rhythm is gonna get'cha, Rhythm is gonna get you

Chef Pepin is not having your excuse Marysol. He is going to get you. He does not care that you are calling on your Blackberry and apologizing on speaker. He wanted you to turn on the crock pot and now who will do it?

The rhythm is gonna get you tonight, No way, you can fight it every day, But no matter what you say, You know it, The rhythm is gonna get'cha

Adriana could have told Alex that the rhythm was going to pick him up from school, this would have solved the problem of Fredric hanging up on her.

No clue, of what's happening to you, And before this night is through, Ooh baby, The rhythm is gonna get'cha

The rhythm has clearly already gotten to Cristy, as her major requirement to know if Adriana is happy with her man is if he can make her "Bedrock." We should all take our relationship advice from Lil Wayne.

Rhythm is gonna get'cha, Rhythm is gonna get'cha, Rhythm is gonna get you, The rhythm is gonna get you tonight

This call to action is for Larsa's nanny. Rice is not a matter of opinion, it's a fact. Also, how can you call yourself a friend of animals and hate bunnies? The rhythm will now come to take your job.

O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh, O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah, O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh, O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah, O eh, o eh, Yah yeh goh, Yah yeh goh, Yah yeh goh

This makes me think of Elsa calling Marysol Madame Pompadour, and then telling her not to wear the gigantic diamond to the gala ("it's not becoming to you because you don't look that rich"). This seen was so amazing and caused me such joy that I resorted to nonsensical, Cuban scatting.

Rhythm is gonna get'cha, Rhythm is gonna get'cha, Rhythm is gonna get you, The rhythm is gonna get you, Rhythm is gonna get'cha, Rhythm is gonna get'cha

To go a bit backwards, this chorus is directed at Larsa's amazing pull down closet rods. Did anyone else see that? As a short person I was amazed that such technology existed. All I need is to marry a Chicago Bulls legend and perhaps I could have a similar system installed. With the help of the rhythm, and extendable closet rods, I am going to get you clothes.

Na na na na na na na na, Na na na na na na na, The rhythm is gonna get you, Na na na na na na na na, Na na na na na na na

This is for you Cristy Rice. Lea's staff is not having your Tom Foolery. The invoice is going to get you soon enough.

O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh, O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah, O eh, o eh, o eh, o eh, O eh, oo aah, o eh, oo aah, O eh, o eh, Na na na na na na na, Na na na na na na

This is for Roy Black, amazing public speaker, and friend to many! And Lea Black for finding a way to have an event that brought such lovely people together as Kim Zolciak (with DJ Tracy Young), Rick Ross, the amazing Gloria Estefan, and of course Joe Francis. Kudos to the Blacks for having such an amazing event!

And thanks for staying with me for that. I appreciate it greatly! Leave your favorite Gloria Estefan jam in the comments!

Lea's Double Standards

Adriana explains why she was so surprised by Joanna and Lea's behavior.

I would like to start by saying that I tried my best to bond with Joanna and remain friendly after attending her bachorelette party and wedding. I truly was hoping for a budding friendship. All season long, she criticized me in her weekly blogs, criticized my wedding, and even then I took the high road and didn't engage in the low blows and continued hostility she has demonstrated towards me for a while now. However, I couldn’t stay quiet any longer when she started to attack my credibility. Enough is enough! I've learned that bullies like her will not stop the attack until you stand your ground. She showed me her true colors when she stated she wanted “to rip my head off.” Such aggressive behavior like that could no longer be ignored. Joanna is always stating that she is beautiful and because of that she thinks she has license to act UGLY!

Furthermore, I couldn't remain silent while she was attacking Lisa and being so cold to her and her struggle with infertility. Claiming that Lisa is a party girl and is always drinking is not the attitude of a friend. Joanna and Lisa had been friends and even had dinner together the night before and all was well between them, until Joanna decided to turn on Lisa... I was shocked, how can a friend blatantly attack her friend with such coldness?! She should not talk about things she knows nothing about!

Another shocker was to see Lea sitting there silently and not coming to Lisa's defense... She crucified me this season and did a complete character assassination of my person for not speaking up when Ana attacked her last year, so I was very surprised to see her do the exact same thing to her new bestie... Double standards, as usual!

In conclusion, don't judge others unless you have walked a mile in their shoes!