The problem with being the last person to arrive at the party is that I was behind on both drinks and information. I was not able to witness anything first hand; and there were so many issues being hashed out in different corners of the Hochstein’s manse that I felt like a spectator on the sidelines of a gilded boxing ring where all the fighters were scantily clad and gorgeous.
In this corner: a feather sporting Marysol being forewarned that she was inappropriately dressed. In another corner: Joe what’s his face boasting about his sexual escapades with the Krupa sisters. In a third corner: Elaine as James resolving an argument by pushing someone into the pool and damaging thousands of dollars’ worth of DJ equipment in the process. In yet another corner: Adriana and Karent discuss the finer points of journalistic integrity and the now infamous newspaper article where we were collectively called “classless fame addicts with Botox for brains.” (I think, but don’t quote me please). By the way, quotes -- air or otherwise -- have caused quite a bit of controversy so far, no?
The last corner had the most activity, which just mushroomed into many mini and not so mini arguments and then spontaneously combusted into that fateful hallway scene. Punches, slaps, embedded nails, a broom stick, “Meees Lisa’s” best friend-for-hire offering comfort, and several unsuspecting reality TV cameramen, grips, audio guys, and producers who couldn’t believe their luck, I mean, eyes. And I had only been there 20 minutes!