Cast Blog: #RHOM

Is Perception Reality?

Lea Black shares her take on the premiere.

After watching the first episode of the new and improved Real Housewives of Miami, I just had to wonder -- are we all that different really? Do we all view the world that differently, or is it just more comfortable to talk in clichés? Are we more used to criticizing than complimenting? Are we in the habit of looking for what's wrong or looking for what's right in the world we live in?

Well from the World of Lea Black, here's how I see it.

Miami was showcased in all of its grandeur -- the sexiest city on earth and magnificent beyond description -- or was that just the visual I saw? So while listening to some of the girls describe it as "full of jealous people" (sometimes true), "people will walk all over you" (stilettos and all) ,"the rich are always trying to undo you" ( I guess when they're not counting their money or polishing their diamonds,) "it’s smoke and mirrors" (hidden amongst the white beaches, the blue skies, and the skyline of over-the-top architectural buildings), and, of course, "everyone’s a recovering alcoholic" (or chilled out on Xanax -- Xanax is the new booze). And is that the "old Miami" that should just shrivel up and cry, or "move over?"  After all, the old Miami is now the new Miami, I hear.  It just made me think maybe I do live in a state of non-reality reality. Oh never mind, that would be a Housewives show? Obviously we will all disagree on everything all of time -- so when in doubt, just believe me. As you know by now, I can deal with a lot, but "I can’t deal with stupid."

The Miami I know is stunningly beautiful wrapped up in a diversified and vibrant culture. We attract people from all around the globe. People come from all over the world come to vacation where we get to live (sometimes without even a green card). I really love those people, because they will pay any price to be part of paradise that we sometimes take for granted.

As the show opens with Mama Elsa and Marysol, we find that the psychic (the one that “can connect" psychic) predicts Marysol will meet women full of gossip (like there are any other kinds of women?). Oh, and we know they're new "friends" not old "friends." (Whew! Glad I am off the hook on that one!) Wonder what the psychic says about Phillipe?  Hmmm, I’m still stuck at Marysol wishing she had her eye on something for her anniversary as Mama asks what she’s gonna’ do with her wedding ring and predicts more marriages. Did Mama not get the memo? We don’t talk about that. Oh well, what goes on in the jewelry store stays in the jewelry store, or at least that’s what I always hope for.

Then we go to Ana with the daughters she doesn't want to leave the nest. How cute is that husband, ex-husband, best friend, dad, partner-in-business man that has quite the way with words? I've heard of putting barbeque sauce on a lot of things, but… well, let’s just leave it at that. And I now realize why I prefer air kisses and hugs to handshakes (thank you, Ana, for that reminder).
Ana then points out that Colombian women perhaps have a way with men (thanks for the memo, us gringas don't always know that stuff). That’s important because we soon meet Karent, who proudly announces herself as an accomplished Colombian woman (with an 18-inch waistline, just in case you didn't notice). Might there be more to that story? Wonder if the "I didn’t know you go both ways" joke was a Freudian slip? No it wasn't. I'm just kidding, but I know you were hoping (wink!)! Maybe there is something more to that “threesome.” Did I say that? I didn’t mean it; I meant, maybe there's something more involving “those three people,” one of which is a Colombian woman (fortunately we've had a little insight to them). But it’s all good -- depending on how you look at it I guess.

If you aren't confused by now, don't worry, you will be within the next few weeks. I’m still trying to figure it all out. I guess when you mix all those different cultures, add in love and romance, and did someone say "jealousy" when describing Miami? Well seems like the perfect storm could become a hurricane? Wonder who this hurricane will be named after? I think we are up to the "I”s now, as in Hurricane Isaac that hit a couple of weeks ago -- doesn't K and R (as in Rodolfo, mystery man who?) come after "I"? Some people are just unlucky with the alphabet I guess. Gotta blame it on something, because everyone’s right in this scenario, or so I've been told... It’s complicated.
Just when you think you've overdosed on sexy Latin women, in walks the Brazilian bombshell with the magnifique French lover. We all know by now Adriana has a passion for art. As Frederick explains the unfinished boat is a canvas for his soon to be piece of art -- she said she "loved art," but she didn’t say “I wanna’ live inside a piece of art.” (Something got lost in translation, but her face translates it all.) For someone who gets car sick, air sick, and sea sick, and that likes to walk around in 6-inch heels, hates being in the sun (no sun on that wrinkle-less, flawless face), I’m thinking Fredrick had me at "what was he thinking?" Or was he? Between the piano sliding around, riding the waves and the sea salt eating away at the Basquiat paintings she so cherishes and the walk-in closet, the dog, a kid, and a few hundred pairs of shoes, I hope this doesn’t drive them to becoming some of those "recovering alcoholics" we heard about earlier. And when she's inevitably late will she "miss the boat?" Oh, the stress.

Back to Mama--

Now we hear the dog took a Xanax and hid in the closet? Did she say the dog? Or did she say... oh, never mind.
Enter Smith and Wollensky swine and food festival party. It’s hot and crowded and just before I snubbed Lisa (more about that later), Marysol mentions the gala red carpet of two years ago -- that's the story that just keeps on giving. Yawn. Oh well, next year I will just ask Elsa to do it.

Finally, something serious to talk about. A real love story triangle involving a telenovela soap opera hunk from Mexico that Karent has her “teeth” into -- dentists do that you know. (I think he’s from Mexico, I really can't keep up with all these different cultures.) We have this 18-inch-waistline Colombian woman (did I mention she's the dentist to the stars?), and fortunately we now know about those Colombian women (thank you, Ana), a Latin telenovela star, and an older woman, (for a moment I thought maybe Karent was talking about me. Ouch!) Let’s get this party started. We are now at sex and lies... wonder when the video tapes will come in? I was actually sitting at the table listening to the whooolllllleeeeeee "he said, she said, they said, he heard, she heard, they texted" conversation; but perhaps I was yawning too much and someone had the good sense not to show my face. Yawn. Geeezzz. Really?

OMG forgive me. I left out our biggest pride and joy, supermodel super fab Joanna and that adorable hunk of hers. I think you saw enough of them. Not gonna’ enable all that fabulousness or give it any more attention. Well except for the adorable and talented sister Marta, who obviously comes back and forth from LA because the eye candy and the drama in the Miami house is far better than anywhere in Hollywood (where they make all those boring low budget movies with real actors, yuk). Who cares about scripted TV -- this is far more interesting. Can't make this stuff up.And we have seen some Emmy-award-winning crocodile-tear moments. Oh, the sagas of the real life housewife -- or not really housewife but maybe someday a housewife? Does it matter? It’s all so fun to watch, housewife, non-housewife, does anyone really care? Translation: the new housewife is any woman with a house (apartment, car, garage, a beach or a party) filled with drama. And if you're hot and sexy, well that makes you a super housewife. Then there’s the super-duper housewives (I’ll just let you think about that one).

Now, all about me. I mean I wouldn’t be a real "housewife" if it weren't all about me (Real Housewife Qualification #1). Did I snub Lisa? You'll just have to see how that one plays out, but I will give you a hint, I had said hello to at least a hundred people before I got to her and meant to go back to her, but then Elsa walked in. Elsa and I had spoken earlier in the day and she specifically asked me and I promised her that I would hang with her if she showed up. She was reluctant to go, not necessarily wanting to be in big crowds (and stay tuned, turns out her intuition was right). Hint #2, I think we may all eventually conclude that Lisa is very sensitive. Adorable, but very sensitive. (Did I mention her husband created her? (Not really, but it would be a good advertisement for his plastic surgery business, no?)  So, let me just apologize now, “Sorry Lisa, I could have given you more attention.” (But who knew you wanted any of my attention?) I'm sort of touched by that, I can be sensitive too, you know.). Strong and sensitive -- they're not mutually exclusive. Stay tuned and you can decide.

Hope you liked Episode 1. And if I left anyone out -- I've been known to snub you know -- don't take it personally. Enjoy the calm, it doesn't last for long. They don't refer to the Miami heat just because of the weather, the hurricanes which don't always include rain, and the mosquitoes really bite, those pesky little mosquitoes, I have names for a few of them. (Just kidding.  Not.)Spread the love and keep the peace (then tune in and see if I practice what I preach). LOL!  Can't wait until we chat again next week. I've got a lot to deal with this week -- but there's one thing I won’t be dealing with... (stop it, I know what you're thinking, and the shoe doesn't fit you... promise).

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Lea's Final Thoughts on the Season

Lea shares he status with each of the girls post-reunion.

It’s a Wrap!

It’s been an interesting season. I've been as honest and authentic as possible. I feel I owe that to myself and to you, our viewing audience. I've defended myself when wrongly accused or misinterpreted and in the process unfortunately, ugly truths have been exposed. I haven't gone out of my way to hurt anyone, but if I have, in the spirit of defending myself or setting the record straight, then so be it. I've had some fun, a few laughs, and experienced a lot of unnecessary stress.

I've showcased as many of my friend’s businesses as I could and got in a few shameless plugs for However, I haven't traded on the show or received any freebies, other than borrowing jewelry a couple of times! LOL! Some have interpreted it as being materialistic, I call it marketing. LOL!

I've listened to people re-invent the past, camouflage the present, and stoop to insults, foul language, and ugliness, all of which make me cringe. I've made closer bonds with some and made new friends along the way. I’ve learned to love and appreciate the work that goes into being on the show. Of course, I don't like what I see from time to time, but I hope I've maintained my integrity and what was important to me.I cracked a few jokes at others expense, made a few sarcastic remarks, and rolled my eyes a few times. I just can't (or won't) stop being myself. LOL! I've loved reading all of your comments and tweets. Even when I disagree, I'm OK with it if you were being intellectually honest. But the few comments which were mean-spirited, based upon uniformed conclusions, bias, or outside influence, I disregarded, ignored, and deleted. I have a low threshold for pettiness and unnecessary maliciousness.

Now, for the girls, in my usual style, let me be as honest as I can be.

Lisa: I feel she and I have a lot in common, and I'm closer to her than the others. I think she has a good heart, but is a little too sensitive. I think she often takes things too personally. She wants to have fun; she has a wonderful spirit and loves a good party. She did get on my nerves while attempting to be “the connector" but I understand the reasons and know her intentions were good. She can always depend on me, and we enjoy a loving and brutally honest relationship.

I'm the next closest to Joanna. I love a lot of things about her. Her love for animals, how much she works , her willingness to speak publically about her very personal problems, endure public scrutiny, and the manner in which she let's things go and moves on are all admirable. She doesn't live or die based upon the opinions of others. I am disappointed with some of the things that she said things during the reunion shows. I know she has suffered for it, regrets it deeply, and wishes she could take it back. But because of some of her choices, I have a reluctance to fully embrace or trust her. She knows exactly how I feel.
Alexia: For three seasons I have defended her, had her back, and given her the benefit of the doubt. Watching her all season, week after week, speak one insult or mean-spirited comment about me, knowing many of them were lies, causes me to wonder if she did it to patronize the hate club, play all sides, or if she has some hidden resentment towards me. Perhaps she did it for air time in an attempt to make herself more relevant? Maybe she just doesn't like me and doesn't want to say it? Whatever reason she got her digs in, it is not justifiable; they were uncalled for and she should regret it and say so.  Whenever the cameras weren’t rolling, she’d tell me how much she loves me and what great friends we are. So even though she threw me under the bus several times, as recently as the reunion, I'm not interested in going tit for tat. I wish her and Herman well, and I have a lot of empathy for her personal issues.

Now to Adriana:  Everyone knows how I feel about her. The one thing she did which showed her real inner self is when she ripped my son’s heart out and stomped on it. She intentionally, out of hatred, kept her son away from my son. To this day, I know that I’ve done nothing but try to help her or defend myself against her lies.  She has expressed her gratitude by stabbing me in the back. Whatever her motivation (I have my own conclusions), nothing will ever put Humpty Dumpty back together again. I can put the past in the past and be amicable towards her, but let me make the following point crystal clear: I will never fully trust her. And I really just don't like who she is. Since the show either she has changed or who she really is showed up. Either way it’s not compatible with who I am and what I want in my life.
Marysol: Again, I've called Elsa many times over the months, and I've continued to do so, whether Marysol chooses to believe it or not.

And to set the record straight, yes Frankie is a friend of mine. He is a comedian and has a You Tube channel of impersonations, he is a Broadway star and an entertainer. He only impersonates people he finds interesting. No, he never knew Elsa was sick and no, I didn't see him make the video, and no, I wasn't in the background. All of which can be proven. But if it was a big secret, he wouldn't have posted it on You Tube.

And by the way, he made the You Tube video months after the show was no longer filming. But of course Marysol brought it up about 5 months later, so she could justify and explain away her behavior of the season.

Overall, it’s been a learning experience. I've been surprised to discover how people will behave and how far they will go for attention, relevance, a storyline, or to make someone look bad. I've always said reality TV brings out the best and worst in people, and I stand by that belief.

My tag line “I live my life like everything matters, because I think it does" is true for me. As easy as it may be for some to just live in denial and brush things aside, I believe everything we do matters, including who we are to ourselves and to others. And who we are produces consequences, both good and bad. I choose to live my life trying to create good consequences and limit negativity.
Not all drama has to be negative. One doesn’t have to criticize others in order to justify their own poor behavior or make themselves feel better about their lives.

So maybe I'm a fit for reality TV or maybe I'm not, that would be up to the viewers. The one thing I am certain of is that my real friends, my family, my son, and my husband understand me and are more important to me than anything and everything else. They know that my charitable work, being true to myself, living like everything matters, giving more than I take, my sense of right and wrong, making a conscious effort to live a life of purpose, setting a good example for my son, and being mindful of future generations are the most important things in my life.

I love nice things and love living the good life, and sharing it, and I've earned every right to do just that. I will never apologize for my lifestyle, but I won't be defined by it either.

Thanks for watching. Life is time, and you took time out for us, and for that I am forever grateful. Whether you enjoyed me on the show or not, know one thing, I put as much into it as I possibly could, and then some. LOL! Thank you POP, our amazing producers and their incredible team, the Bravo Network, and the viewers for the opportunity to cross paths. Did we bond yet? LOL!

Spread the love and keep the peace.

Love, Lea

Please comment below, it would mean a lot to me to hear your final thoughts.


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