Lisa Hochstein

Lisa explains her relationship with Lenny's mother.

on Dec 13, 20120

In this episode everyone finally got to meet my monster-in-law! ...I mean mother-in-law! Kidding! She is not a monster, more like the mother from the Everybody Loves Raymond TV show, but with a Russian accent LOL.

I have been told that many mother-in-laws have a hard time accepting their daughter-in-laws. I guess mothers have a hard time letting go of their sons and accepting the new woman in their lives. Although I do not have a son yet, I can understand why it could be difficult. Especially if her daughter in law was a nightmare. I however am clearly not. I have always gone out of my way from day one to be sweet, kind, and accommodating to Marina, Lenny’s mother. I eventually got to a point where I realized my pushover attitude towards her was not getting me anywhere, so I took a different approach. While still being respectful, I have become more assertive and commanding of respect in my home. I am all for respecting your elders, especially your husband’s parents, but it must go both ways. I have realized the importance of boundaries not being overstepped. Marina can be tough, but underneath it all I think she is very sensitive.
 
Marina and Anatoly have a key to our home, because they visit often from Virginia. This is not something that bothers me. What does upset me is the way I am made to feel when comments are made about my cooking (or lack thereof), our lifestyle, the way our home is run, and the orders doled out to our staff. I could never imagine myself going to anyone’s home and telling them how to clean, cook, or decorate.
 
My husband agrees with me 100% on this, but some are just set in there ways and it is difficult to have them see things from your side. I do hope that we can one day have a real relationship where I do feel they genuinely love and accept me, especially for my husband’s sake. I do hope when we finally have children, that this may bond us and make us stronger as a family. We do have a long way to go.

10 comments
cmoman
cmoman

Lisa & Lenny ~ I am so incredibly sorry about the loss of your first baby, Puff.  We have a boxer as well, and she is our first baby.  She is everything to us.  She sounds a little like Puff, too.  They are the most loving, affectionate, and loyal dogs.  She must have lived a fantastic life with you guys as her parents!

Also, I thought it was commendable (and impressive) what Lenny said to his Mother at dinner.  I thought it was wonderful that he stood up for all the people that help out around your house & with your lives (maids, drivers, etc). 

You guys seem like really GOOD people. 

Good luck to you & Lenny, with the expansion of your family!

JaneGold
JaneGold

Maybe you should consider converting.  It's too confusing for a child to be raised in two religions-- with two separate belief systems.  It's hard being a minority, so if you don't commit to raise them in the Jewish faith, they will end up Catholic.

bpster
bpster

Lisa I'm so so sorry for the loss of your baby!! My heart goes out to you and Lenny. 

As far as Lenny's mother goes, you hold your ground. Your husband needs to step in and tell his mother to respect you. Having a baby will only make this worse! I had a overbearing MIL it became a nightmare. Everything I did was wrong. I was lucky my ex told me to lock her out and that's exactly what I did reasoning with her did nothing......

shysharon
shysharon

Where's Lenny telling his mom to knock it off! Was this just for the cameras? She's not just disrespectful to you, she is to him as well! I could go on, but we all get it.

withak
withak

Lisa, I really cannot stand passive-aggressive people, and that is what Marina is. You are so sweet, she mistakes it for weakness, so she bullies you by criticizing the things that insult a woman most. Your home, your husband and, your children (especially the lack thereof). Good thing, you're no shrinking violet and you are starting to give back what she's laying down! I would watch out for Dayzy-she sure looks happy taking your place when you travel! Remember, People only treat you the way you let them. Sorry about Puff. I totally understand what you and Lenny went through in that regard and my heart goes out to you.

oliviabell
oliviabell

I'm so sorry to hear about Puff, Lisa.  The Boxer was my favourite dog until I got my Puggle. 

Annabella2
Annabella2

I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved Puff!!  I lost my beautiful Harper Lee 4 months ago.  She was almost 18.  I was lucky to have her as long as I did, but I still miss her terribly!!  I raised her along side my daughters.  When they left home she really became our "baby".  I don't think the pain will ever go away, but I know I have enough love in my heart for another dog.  When the time is right, I'll find the perfect addition to my family!!  Wishing you the same!!!

Pescadita_Bonita
Pescadita_Bonita

You are so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I love watching you enjoyable funny love youre house

angel367
angel367

Wow… I lost my doggie this summer at 8 years of age. i held him as he was sedated and sang to him. I know exactly what you’re going through. Hugs :-(..