Lisa Hochstein

Lisa explains why she decided to open up about this very personal issue.

on Nov 13, 20120

This episode was an emotional roller-coaster beginning with Joanna and Romain's turbulent relationship, Ana's reality of her personal separation that now extends to her professional attachment, my struggles with starting a family, Lea’s heartbreaking loss of her beloved dog, Leroy, and the drama at Alexia’s dinner.

Speaking openly about miscarriages or anything this personal with a friend, let alone millions of onlookers, is a very difficult thing to do. I have kept so much to myself for the past few years, because I did not want to burden or have any one feel sorry for me. I also didn't want to speak about my issues in detail, because I did not feel the need to expose so much of my personal experience. I have opened up parts of my life to the world, but I reserve the right to have some privacy also. Part of the reason I decided to open up and discuss some of what I am going through is because I realized so many women have suffered the same issues. Miscarriages and conceiving is an issue that many women don't discuss, probably for the same emotions and reasons I had: embarrassment, sorrow, hopelessness, frustration, anger, and sadness. I hoped by being open I would at least help other women come to terms with their struggles.

Another reason I discussed it was because I so many people were asking why Lenny and I do not have a family yet after being together for five years, that I quite frankly became tired of avoiding the question. Hopefully now people will understand, and I won’t feel so much pressure. There are many options in today’s world that can help women bring a child into their lives, and believe me, we are trying everything. What a fantastic world we live in today where we have so many options.

I really felt like Karent had become someone I felt comfortable opening up to; she is very soothing, caring, and probably the one I trust and know the most. I feel as though she genuinely cares about me. I was very upset to hear she is feeling the same pressures to start her own family. This moment bonded us. I know that she would be an amazing mother, and it would be terrible if she did not start a family of her own also. I know in my heart that it’s just about timing for both of us, and god will bring us our blessings as soon as he sees fit. I’ve always felt that I am meant to be a mother in this life, and I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

53 comments
VictoriaBrownJackson
VictoriaBrownJackson

I am so glad you shared your story! I too had issues and after years of trying I saw did some research and self diagnosed myself with PCOS. My doctor ran some tests and bingo that's what it was. My body at a certain point would stop producing progestrone and cause miscarriages. I was referred to Dr. Minna Selub in Weston and now I have three beautiful children! I am so grateful to God for my children and I wish you all the best in your quest towards motherhood! Praying for you and your husband! Be strong for each other and please don't think your husband will now how to react in every emotional situation because he absolutely won't!!! Blessings, Victoria Broen- Jackson

babzz48173
babzz48173

I had 7 miscarriages and then I ended up in the hospital with blood clots in my lungs.  I was told "DON'T EVEN THINK OF EVER HAVING KID".  Which I was the girl voted "MOST BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT" in high school and that is all I ever wanted. 

 

I was finally told that I have a very rare blood disorder called "Factor 8" were my blood is so thick it clots itself which in turn was starving the babies of everything!

 

I am happy to say that I now have a 5 year old son.  Yes, I had to give myself shoot in the stomach twice a day and I was in labor my  whole pregnancy.   BUT I HAVE MY SON!!!!!!!  PLEASE TASK YOUR TIME AND HAVE YOUR BLOOD CHECK.  There are allot of variations of these blood disorder mine just so happens to be the worst.

COmom23
COmom23

Lisa,

I too had to deal with miscarriages...I had five miscarriages and the doctors did not know why but finally when I got pregnant for the 6th time I asked the doctor if progestrone shots would help.  He told me to come into the office and he would take a blood test then give me a shot and we would wait to see the results.  After a couple of days the results came back and my levels were extremely low so they had me come back for more shots 3 times a week for 14 weeks.  They never thought my miscarriages were due to low levels of progestrone because when they tested my levels I was never pregnant but they felt that if my levels were normal when not pregnant they would be normal when pregnant.  But that was not the case, and after self diagnosis I now have 3 beautiful children.  One adopted and 2 biological.  Don't give up!!

 

sanalilac
sanalilac

I've never written in to someone's blog before but I understand what you are going through with you struggles to conceive. My husband and I tried for 4 years, doing absolutely everything, IUI, IVF, egg donation. It got to the point where I was so sad that I would sometimes stay in bed for several days.

 

We were at the same time applying for an adoption, and I am now happy to say we have a spectacular baby daughter. She is truly the light of our lives! She makes me happy every day, its absolute joy to be her mommy.

 

Having said this, I still wish that I could be pregnant. Modern medicine and science is making so many advances that we have not completely ruled out the possibility for a future child of ours to be either our DNA or even delivered by me. I think most women feel this incredible biological need to have the "round belly". In my case, it just feels like nature's pull.

 

LIsa- I hope you can have this joy. Either with an adoption or through a gestational carrier or even your own successful pregnancy. No matter which way you have this child, you will be a fully happy woman.

Jmerl28
Jmerl28

I have 2 children with my first husband. I then remarried and my second husband and I tried to have a child together. I miscarried 3 times. Since I already had 2 healthy children, it was not likely there was anything wrong with me. But they put me through all kinds of tests anyway. There was nothing wrong with me. Finally my OB/GYN said it not you, but it might be your husband. We went through genetic testing and it turned out that my husband has chromosome translocation, which was the cause for the miscarriages. Has your husband been tested? To make this long story short, I got pregnant a forth time, and now have a perfectly healthy baby girl. There is always hope, and always a way. Good luck to you:)

love3sons
love3sons

You were nothing close to a lady at Mr (DIsgusting) Kramer's house...I felt sorry for your husband. Why not dedicate yourslef to charities/support organizations helping women with fertility issues that don't have the money to afford treatments, adoption lawyers, etc., instead of ridiculously dancing on tables.

luvtherh
luvtherh

Lisa you are a joy to watch. You're beautiful and sweet. My heart goes out to you for having had to experience miscarriages. The segment when you shared this with Karent was very touching. She is a good friend and that was very cute how she lightened it up talking about double baby showers.

 

I gave premature birth to a 25 weeker. He was my first baby and I had no idea what to expect. My son has gone through a roller coaster ride with so many ups and downs but the minute I held him (I could not hold him for the first 2 weeks because I was so unstable) was the most amazing feeling. I had longed to be a mother for over a year. Your time will come. I think you would make a great mom. Please update us.

stroffolino_a
stroffolino_a

Lisa I think you are cute and funny. Please don't turn out to be like Joanna. I use to love her and then I saw her true colors and sorry to say it, but she annoys me now. I am not sure about Karent. And regarding baby issue well is a private matter, and all I can say is best of luck - xoxo

Tania1234
Tania1234

You and your two girlfriends are absolute dolls -more than just pretty faces. Wishing you ALL the BEST from one of your hometown girls!

twade
twade

I wasn't so sure about you at first but you have grown to be one of my favs on the show. Hope you stay on!

iheartchanel
iheartchanel

A heartfelt hug goes out to you Lisa! I love you and your house and your sweet demeanour. Don't give up hope on kids. It is just about timing and it would be neat to see you and Karent pregnant at the same time! I hope that you and Lenny will conceive soon. Have you considered a surrogate or adoption? Choices that are out there for couples who are not able to conceive. 

PS It took my husband and I about one year before getting pregnant and it was a frustrating road. Stress was a big cause. Once I saw the stick saying positive, I cried tears of joy. It will come for you one day in whatever situation your 1st child enters the world. 

 

Thank you for sharing your story, which is not something that is easy because it is a very private thing. This creates awareness for others who are struggling and lets them know that it is more common than we suspect.

theresa.loerahall
theresa.loerahall

Be paitent Lisa, remember the Lord controls all things, not us. In his time he will bring you your children. Have faith in him. Your a dynamite women w/full package. not just looks, the other women could learn alot from you, yes even Ms. Lia Black. Stay strong and classy, Lassy..

aliceandwonderland@626
aliceandwonderland@626

You and Joanna make me laugh on the show, I wish you luck in the baby department, you deserve it because you are beautiful inside and out, so down to earth.

Lenz
Lenz

If you find your answer (Rh issue or not) then imagine you're like the earth. Eat more often and eat more period. Nothing grows without nutrition. My family is full of older women that have shown us through the years how significant a plate of fresh creamed spinach and other foods from the earth can be. Stop toasting, injecting and watching your weight if you want to share your body with a child. Your husband can put you back together after you deliver.

michelle.lucas.3150
michelle.lucas.3150

Lisa, you are such a sweet and kind person. I know some day you will become a wonderful mother. It was very endearing to watch you and Karent speak so open and honest to one another. It was so special and genuine. Continue to have faith. We are praying for you and your husband.

NJGuyBravoFan
NJGuyBravoFan

HI LISA!  I think you're so fun, adorable, and just delightful to watch!  I know God will grant you the family you deserve, all in due time.  I wish the other ladies were more like you and I love the friendship you, Karent and Joanna have going.  As for the rest of the girls, they need to back off and let you new girls breathe.  I never liked this installment of Real Housewives of Miami until this season, thanks you new girls, especially you!  MORE LISA MORE LISA!!!

kiki13
kiki13

There is an answer out there for you regarding having kids.  Camille from BH had her children through a surrogate.  Maybe that is the way you can accomplish this- it's not the most ideal way, but the results will be worth it.  I wish you the best of luck.  You will be a wonderful Mom!!

 

xx kiki13 

samuelpolanca
samuelpolanca

All the best to you!! really loving, caring, and true!

Keep being there, and may God give you what you want!

wombat
wombat

I agree with the post about having your Rh factor checked.  Clearly you don't have a problem getting pregnant...it is a problem with staying pregnant.  For me, after several miscarriages my doctor ran a "recurrent Pregnancy loss" blood panel test which identified a blood clotting disorder which is super common.  I take anti coagulant medication when I am trying to get pregnant and when I am pregnant and now have two little kiddos running the house!  I hope you can get to the bottom of what is going on for you.  Stay strong!  It is NOT your fault!!!  You are adorable on the show and I wish you all the best!

PUGLUVA911
PUGLUVA911

Lisa you are by far my favorite Miami housewife. Watching you with your dogs in past episodes has been a real treat. I commend you for being so open about your struggles with infertility and I think that when you do have children you will be an incredible mother!  I wish you and your husband nothing but the best!

malvesb
malvesb

I love you! You are very real, fun, down to earth, and a very judge of situations. Thank goodness you are not like Alexia, Marysol, Adrianna!! Much love to you, and i hope the best for you!

allydachie
allydachie

I am glad you are on the show and your husband. Great addition.

emine99
emine99

I gotta say, I am sorry that I judged you harshly at first sight. With the whole "im my husband's best creation" thing (which I still dont like) I thought you were going to be a dumb bimbo like the rest of them. But in fact, you are the only one I think is real,  sensible, and sometimes even insightful. I actually feel for your struggle with having children. I hope you get your wish come true. Stay strong. 

peaceout86
peaceout86

As a nursing student I have learned about being Rh+ or Rh- and how this can effect future pregnancies. Do you know which one you are. A simple blood test will reveal this. If any of your previous babies were Rh+ you would have needed the Rogam shoot to protect the next fetus. You can still get this when you get pregnant next time. It is worth looking into. I think it may be a major factor to this issue you are having. Hope this helps. I feel I was meant to give you this information. 

 

CityofAngels
CityofAngels

Good things happen to good people and I'm sure you and Lenny will have a family soon.  You have quickly become one of my favorite housewives.  Just be careful with Karent ... she doesn't seem like someone you should trust. 

s.martin
s.martin

You are by far are my favorite on this show!! I too have been struggling with fertility during my four years of marriage. One miscarriage, and five rounds of IVF. I know it is so hard. I wish you all the best. Pray to St. Gerard. The saint of motherhood.

abuh2009
abuh2009

It seems that you are fun loving and light hearted, which is awesome! Although it boggles my mind that you are good friends with Joanna and s**t stirrer/drama queen (Karent), don't forget when you hang out with trash you start to stink like it. I do hope and pray, however, that you overcome your obstacle of not being able to carry till full term.  Good Luck!

minea
minea

Lisa, you are my favorite housewife on this show. I love watching you! You have a fun and sweet personality, and you are very pleasant to watch unlike some angry women on that show. My gosh!

I also wish you and your husband all the best and I hope that you can have a baby soon. You will make a great mother.

CutiePatutie
CutiePatutie

I just adore you Lisa, you a fun, funny and down to earth, without apologizing for living the fabulous life. I will pray for you and your hubby that a baby is not far behind for the two of you. 

maleesta
maleesta

I wanted to comment on the scene where Lisa took her maid to her doctor husband to discuss plastic surgery. It was clear that she thought she was giving her maid a gift that she could never afford. The look on Lisa's face when the maid started rattling off the numerous procedures that she had already undergone was priceless. And then, when the maid asked about getting her eyes done in the future - that, my friends, was reality tv gold.

lorrie298
lorrie298

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Miscarriages are so hard to go through and it sometimes seems like no one can understand how painful it is unless they have gone though it themselves. We had 3 miscarriages before we had our amazing son, and we have had 5 since he was born. I would sometimes burst into tears when people kept asking us when we were going to give our son a sibling. I pray that you get the family you want so badly. I think you would make a great mommy!

loveallRHW
loveallRHW

My heart aches every time you open up about your struggles to become pregnant and be a mother..i'm praying that you will be a mother very soon, i know that you would make a very loving mother..

outofbounds
outofbounds

After years of struggling with infertility, numerous procedures and tests, a close friend asked me "what is it that you want? To be pregnant or to be a mother?" We now have adopted two beautiful, healthy children and have never been happier. I rarely look back on those days of trying to get pregnant, because that was not my means to the end. There are options available to you, Lisa, and I hope that you can keep an open mind to pursue them. Best of luck. 

zumie
zumie

You are going to be a wonderful mother.  You are kind and nurturing.  Yours will be some very lucky kids.  

cubichi
cubichi

I'm so sorry for what you are going thru, I truly wish you the best. One word of advice, BE CAREFUL, especially with Karent, she basicly started all the fights at your gala. The best of luck to you. I love watching you girl's, I'm a true born and raised miamian.

Snowcap
Snowcap

 

 

Lisa, a spontaneous abortion is the body's way of not accepting something it does not recognize. When the body 'expels ‘a fertilized egg, it means the body doesn’t ‘like’ the new invader, sees it as ‘foreign’, and therefore expels it (spontaneous abortion occurs.) 99% of the time, this happens when the pregnancy is “not right.” The egg and sperm failed to divide correctly, or perhaps other developmental malfunction occurred. The reasons for this “rejection” can be many. Don’t despair. Our bodies are amazing machines, and they try very hard to do good for us. A failing pregnancy is a sign something was wrong with its implementation, or development, and the body then gets rid of it, or rejects it.

Now, why the body rejects some pregnancies can be rooted in multiple reasons. Please don’t despair and keep trying. It will turn up good for you soon. Best of good health to you and your husband.

 

LosAngelesBravoLover
LosAngelesBravoLover

I vote you the most-liked housewife, and I watch 'em all! Great addition this year!!

Poppins
Poppins

Lisa you are a kind woman. I really like you! I hope you can have your baby, you really deserve it. Take care

Bravo.Bravo.Bravo
Bravo.Bravo.Bravo

You are by far my favorite on the show. You are absolutely beautiful on the inside and out. Your children will be very blessed to have you as their mommy. :) thank you for sharing yourself with us. You are right...many of us relate to your challenges and appreciate how hard it is when others ask questions about this that are hard to answer. I truly admire you and I'm sending you a big hug with all of my prayers.

shanlea
shanlea

Lisa: You are very even and common sense oriented. Good luck with your family quest. Some how, some way, it will happen.

 

I agree the dinner was an ambush on K and poorly constructed. I also think you should clarify to JK that while her temperament might be similar to AM, she is not the self-absorbed below the belt bully AM is.

Maya2
Maya2

Lisa, Jacqueline from New Jersey housewives had several misscarriages before getting pregnant she too didn't know why she could't carry to full term and a specialist helped her , im sure someone can help you too !

jaxhunt
jaxhunt

at first I was not sure about you, but I really like you! you seem so nice, funny, easy-going and pretty! I would like to have you as a friend. I had several miscarriages also and now i have 2 wonderful boys! Stay positve and i hope that you will soon be blessed with a little one...or two!!!

preciouslymecindy
preciouslymecindy

my favorite RHOM she is beautiful inside and out, I understand miscarriages are hard I pray you get blessed with your own bundle of joy

Nebfan22
Nebfan22

I agree with you.  When Karent was told she could not speak at the lunch she should have stood up and walked out.  That lunch was a group of bullies wanting their victim to sit there and listen to their tirade against her.  Ugly behavior.  I'm glad Joanna had the guts to step in and defend her friend.

lovethedrama
lovethedrama

Love you Lisa!!  My husband and I are also trying to start a family.  It hasn't happened yet, but I am keeping my faith as well.

 

You seem like a genuine person and you are a breath of fresh air on the show.  It's respectable that you stick up for your friends and I wish you all the best!!!

Sarbeara1981
Sarbeara1981

Lisa, you are my FAVORITE!  What an amazing addition to the cast, you are funny, beautiful and kind-hearted.  Prayers to you on your road to motherhood.  Great to see you be such a good friend to Karent as well.  You two are classy ladies!

DanielleLocke88
DanielleLocke88

Wonderful blog you are one of my favorites and I really hope you get to experience motherhood one day! These women are bullies and I applaud you for sticking up for karent :)

PAGirl73
PAGirl73

Thank you for opening up Lisa.  There are so many who  know your struggle.  You are very  courageous.  Good luck with your road to motherhood.

twade
twade

 @emine99 I thought the same thing but I have really come to like her a lot.