On one last note, I would like to say that while I was filming this season I was an emotional mess and there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t break down and cry at least three times. My parent’s health, 50 year marriage, and my marriage were all falling apart and subsequently so was I. I tried very hard to hide my tears and hurt for the cameras, but by the time we got to Bimini and Lea and I argued for what seemed hours, I just cracked. I know it seemed like a touching moment, but at the time Charles Manson could have hugged me and I would have collapsed in tears. I wish I could take back everything I said to Lea when she hugged me. Had I known all the things she had been saying behind my back on camera leading up to that dinner, things would have been quite different.