Cast Blog: #RHOM

The Newest Housewives Cocktail – Ep 3

Lisa's signature drink, the chambull, is sure to be the next big thing.

No Elsa this week? I feel I've been robbed. Luckily there were enough boob talk and beer tears to fill the void. So let us look back on this week's episode and see if my Housewives sense is still tingling.

Does being hot lower sex drive? Evidently. While supermodel Joanna practically forces herself on Romain, he decides it's critical to answer emails about lighting. Good god, man, let the club be dark for a little longer! As Joanna points out, a lot of men would kill to be in his position...

The jilted Joanna scampers off in a huff only to find Marta, who tells her she might move in with Lisa. Not a great morning for Miss Krupa. But honestly, wouldn't she want a break from having her sister around all the time? Maybe that's the reason you're having less ex, because your sister is sitting right outside your bedroom door waiting for you all the time.

Prediction: Romain better show Joanna some sexy times soon, since Joanna's starting to use the other-men-want-me card. Also Marta's totally going to over stay her welcome at Boob Manor AKA Lisa's house.

Rodolfo, Rodolfo, Rodolfo... Maybe not the best move to affirm your relationship and then talk about starting a harem. Especially when your girlfriend is also presumably your dentist.

Prediction: Karent's totally going to "accidentally" go light on the novocaine during Rodolfo's next dentist visit.

Over at Downton Hochstein Abbey, Lisa explains that Daysy's really paid more to be her friend than her housekeeper. And while this sounds odd, it somehow comes across sweet. And who wouldn't be friends with the person who supplies them with unasked for vodka Redbulls?

Prediction: More Redbull in Lisa's future...Similarly over at Chez Black, we learn that Lea also has a housekeeper, who doesn't often keep house. According to Lea, Freda lives a pretty fabulous life where she does what she wants. She even has her own safe! What more could you want?

Besides the driver, assistants, and of course the safe, Freda has also managed to score some swimming lessons from Lea Black herself. (The music they played as Freda finally crossed the pool was epically amazing by the way.) I think what we've learned here is that working for the Blacks comes with a comprehensive plan of benefits.

Prediction: Freda will be swimming like a fish in no time.Enter Elaine Lancaster. She's a tall, blond, beautiful, and one of Miami's most well known drag queens. She's also one of Lea's good friends. However, as we learn at Lea's gala meeting, Elaine is plenty pissed at Marysol for not letting her walk the red carpet. Oh snap. Never deny a queen entry to a red carpet, especially when she's BFF with the host.

Side Note: Lea has a fountain in her living room? What?

Prediction: Clearly Elaine knows how to hold a grudge, so Marysol better watch out.

As Ana prepares for the big event at Mynt, there's just a lot of ass talk. There's talk about Preparation H and how it can be used for your eyes because there's no ass in it. There's also a question from Ana's daughter as to whether her dad's girlfriend has an anus and if they do it in the butt. I suppose the family that overshares together, stays together.

Prediction: There's more inappropriate conversations to come. I think that's a given at this point.

Lisa's sushi pre-party was pretty great. Let's run down some of the most memorable moments:

- Lisa tells recovering alcoholic Daysy to take a shot with them. Oops!
- Joanna and Marta fight about Romain
- Lenny reveals he skipped college and went straight to med school
- Lisa introduces us to her signature drink, the chambull -- Redbull and champagne. (This should be the official drink of the Housewives.)
- Lisa questions Adriana when she says Elsa looks good for her age.

Hold up. No smack talk about Elsa! It of course wasn't meant in a mean way, but be kind to Miami's favorite mama!

Prediction: Raging hangovers. Sushi before a big night of drinking is never a good idea. It's basically the surefire way to a terrible morning. Not that I know from experience or anything...We finally end up at Mynt, where three dramas all taking place simultaneously.

But before that we learn that Joanna once got in trouble at Mynt for throwing tampons. Huh? Also watching Lea and Elaine try and find the entrance was probably one of the highlights of the episode.

Back to the drama. First off we have the Marysol/Elaine situation. When confronted about the red carpet incident, Marysol thinks Elaine must be confusing it with a different event. It sounds like there's a lot more to this story that we don't know (and a lot of bad blood brewing between Lea and Marysol).

Prediction: This seems like a slow boil argument, and I think the temperature just got turned up...

Next, Adriana went into flirt mode with Romain. Not the best idea when his fiancee is there (and pretty vodka soaked at this point). Was it too far? Was it all in good fun? Who can say. Luckily they were both kind of saved by drama three...
Joanna returns in full on breakdown mode. It seemed as if everyone was confused as to whether she was mad at Romain (for the Adriana flirting?) or something else altogether. After a some tears and shouting we learn that it's because Marta's DJ ex is at the club. Ohhh!

So Joanna let's out a stream of tears (she's got one of those lilty crying voices) and Romain just packs it in and goes home. Probably not how he expected to spend his big night.

And then Marta, who earlier bemoaned the fact that Joanna doesn't defend her, blows up at Joanna for, well, defending her. Yes, she was mad about her causing a big scene, but still, it's quite a tangled web between these three.

Prediction: Marta's got to move out or Romain and Joanna may need to reevaluate their relationship. Something's going to give here.Next week prepare for what will probably be one of the more memorable fights of the season -- Adriana and Karent's tweet battle.
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Lea's Final Thoughts on the Season

Lea shares he status with each of the girls post-reunion.

It’s a Wrap!

It’s been an interesting season. I've been as honest and authentic as possible. I feel I owe that to myself and to you, our viewing audience. I've defended myself when wrongly accused or misinterpreted and in the process unfortunately, ugly truths have been exposed. I haven't gone out of my way to hurt anyone, but if I have, in the spirit of defending myself or setting the record straight, then so be it. I've had some fun, a few laughs, and experienced a lot of unnecessary stress.

I've showcased as many of my friend’s businesses as I could and got in a few shameless plugs for However, I haven't traded on the show or received any freebies, other than borrowing jewelry a couple of times! LOL! Some have interpreted it as being materialistic, I call it marketing. LOL!

I've listened to people re-invent the past, camouflage the present, and stoop to insults, foul language, and ugliness, all of which make me cringe. I've made closer bonds with some and made new friends along the way. I’ve learned to love and appreciate the work that goes into being on the show. Of course, I don't like what I see from time to time, but I hope I've maintained my integrity and what was important to me.I cracked a few jokes at others expense, made a few sarcastic remarks, and rolled my eyes a few times. I just can't (or won't) stop being myself. LOL! I've loved reading all of your comments and tweets. Even when I disagree, I'm OK with it if you were being intellectually honest. But the few comments which were mean-spirited, based upon uniformed conclusions, bias, or outside influence, I disregarded, ignored, and deleted. I have a low threshold for pettiness and unnecessary maliciousness.

Now, for the girls, in my usual style, let me be as honest as I can be.

Lisa: I feel she and I have a lot in common, and I'm closer to her than the others. I think she has a good heart, but is a little too sensitive. I think she often takes things too personally. She wants to have fun; she has a wonderful spirit and loves a good party. She did get on my nerves while attempting to be “the connector" but I understand the reasons and know her intentions were good. She can always depend on me, and we enjoy a loving and brutally honest relationship.

I'm the next closest to Joanna. I love a lot of things about her. Her love for animals, how much she works , her willingness to speak publically about her very personal problems, endure public scrutiny, and the manner in which she let's things go and moves on are all admirable. She doesn't live or die based upon the opinions of others. I am disappointed with some of the things that she said things during the reunion shows. I know she has suffered for it, regrets it deeply, and wishes she could take it back. But because of some of her choices, I have a reluctance to fully embrace or trust her. She knows exactly how I feel.
Alexia: For three seasons I have defended her, had her back, and given her the benefit of the doubt. Watching her all season, week after week, speak one insult or mean-spirited comment about me, knowing many of them were lies, causes me to wonder if she did it to patronize the hate club, play all sides, or if she has some hidden resentment towards me. Perhaps she did it for air time in an attempt to make herself more relevant? Maybe she just doesn't like me and doesn't want to say it? Whatever reason she got her digs in, it is not justifiable; they were uncalled for and she should regret it and say so.  Whenever the cameras weren’t rolling, she’d tell me how much she loves me and what great friends we are. So even though she threw me under the bus several times, as recently as the reunion, I'm not interested in going tit for tat. I wish her and Herman well, and I have a lot of empathy for her personal issues.

Now to Adriana:  Everyone knows how I feel about her. The one thing she did which showed her real inner self is when she ripped my son’s heart out and stomped on it. She intentionally, out of hatred, kept her son away from my son. To this day, I know that I’ve done nothing but try to help her or defend myself against her lies.  She has expressed her gratitude by stabbing me in the back. Whatever her motivation (I have my own conclusions), nothing will ever put Humpty Dumpty back together again. I can put the past in the past and be amicable towards her, but let me make the following point crystal clear: I will never fully trust her. And I really just don't like who she is. Since the show either she has changed or who she really is showed up. Either way it’s not compatible with who I am and what I want in my life.
Marysol: Again, I've called Elsa many times over the months, and I've continued to do so, whether Marysol chooses to believe it or not.

And to set the record straight, yes Frankie is a friend of mine. He is a comedian and has a You Tube channel of impersonations, he is a Broadway star and an entertainer. He only impersonates people he finds interesting. No, he never knew Elsa was sick and no, I didn't see him make the video, and no, I wasn't in the background. All of which can be proven. But if it was a big secret, he wouldn't have posted it on You Tube.

And by the way, he made the You Tube video months after the show was no longer filming. But of course Marysol brought it up about 5 months later, so she could justify and explain away her behavior of the season.

Overall, it’s been a learning experience. I've been surprised to discover how people will behave and how far they will go for attention, relevance, a storyline, or to make someone look bad. I've always said reality TV brings out the best and worst in people, and I stand by that belief.

My tag line “I live my life like everything matters, because I think it does" is true for me. As easy as it may be for some to just live in denial and brush things aside, I believe everything we do matters, including who we are to ourselves and to others. And who we are produces consequences, both good and bad. I choose to live my life trying to create good consequences and limit negativity.
Not all drama has to be negative. One doesn’t have to criticize others in order to justify their own poor behavior or make themselves feel better about their lives.

So maybe I'm a fit for reality TV or maybe I'm not, that would be up to the viewers. The one thing I am certain of is that my real friends, my family, my son, and my husband understand me and are more important to me than anything and everything else. They know that my charitable work, being true to myself, living like everything matters, giving more than I take, my sense of right and wrong, making a conscious effort to live a life of purpose, setting a good example for my son, and being mindful of future generations are the most important things in my life.

I love nice things and love living the good life, and sharing it, and I've earned every right to do just that. I will never apologize for my lifestyle, but I won't be defined by it either.

Thanks for watching. Life is time, and you took time out for us, and for that I am forever grateful. Whether you enjoyed me on the show or not, know one thing, I put as much into it as I possibly could, and then some. LOL! Thank you POP, our amazing producers and their incredible team, the Bravo Network, and the viewers for the opportunity to cross paths. Did we bond yet? LOL!

Spread the love and keep the peace.

Love, Lea

Please comment below, it would mean a lot to me to hear your final thoughts.


Follow @leablackmiami.

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Watch my You Tube Official page.



A special thanks to Bravo digital for the privilege of letting us share through our blogs each week.

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