Cast Blog: #RHOM

The Newest Housewives Cocktail – Ep 3

Lisa's signature drink, the chambull, is sure to be the next big thing.

No Elsa this week? I feel I've been robbed. Luckily there were enough boob talk and beer tears to fill the void. So let us look back on this week's episode and see if my Housewives sense is still tingling.

Does being hot lower sex drive? Evidently. While supermodel Joanna practically forces herself on Romain, he decides it's critical to answer emails about lighting. Good god, man, let the club be dark for a little longer! As Joanna points out, a lot of men would kill to be in his position...

The jilted Joanna scampers off in a huff only to find Marta, who tells her she might move in with Lisa. Not a great morning for Miss Krupa. But honestly, wouldn't she want a break from having her sister around all the time? Maybe that's the reason you're having less ex, because your sister is sitting right outside your bedroom door waiting for you all the time.

Prediction: Romain better show Joanna some sexy times soon, since Joanna's starting to use the other-men-want-me card. Also Marta's totally going to over stay her welcome at Boob Manor AKA Lisa's house.

Rodolfo, Rodolfo, Rodolfo... Maybe not the best move to affirm your relationship and then talk about starting a harem. Especially when your girlfriend is also presumably your dentist.

Prediction: Karent's totally going to "accidentally" go light on the novocaine during Rodolfo's next dentist visit.

Over at Downton Hochstein Abbey, Lisa explains that Daysy's really paid more to be her friend than her housekeeper. And while this sounds odd, it somehow comes across sweet. And who wouldn't be friends with the person who supplies them with unasked for vodka Redbulls?

Prediction: More Redbull in Lisa's future...Similarly over at Chez Black, we learn that Lea also has a housekeeper, who doesn't often keep house. According to Lea, Freda lives a pretty fabulous life where she does what she wants. She even has her own safe! What more could you want?

Besides the driver, assistants, and of course the safe, Freda has also managed to score some swimming lessons from Lea Black herself. (The music they played as Freda finally crossed the pool was epically amazing by the way.) I think what we've learned here is that working for the Blacks comes with a comprehensive plan of benefits.



Prediction: Freda will be swimming like a fish in no time.Enter Elaine Lancaster. She's a tall, blond, beautiful, and one of Miami's most well known drag queens. She's also one of Lea's good friends. However, as we learn at Lea's gala meeting, Elaine is plenty pissed at Marysol for not letting her walk the red carpet. Oh snap. Never deny a queen entry to a red carpet, especially when she's BFF with the host.

Side Note: Lea has a fountain in her living room? What?

Prediction: Clearly Elaine knows how to hold a grudge, so Marysol better watch out.

As Ana prepares for the big event at Mynt, there's just a lot of ass talk. There's talk about Preparation H and how it can be used for your eyes because there's no ass in it. There's also a question from Ana's daughter as to whether her dad's girlfriend has an anus and if they do it in the butt. I suppose the family that overshares together, stays together.

Prediction: There's more inappropriate conversations to come. I think that's a given at this point.

Lisa's sushi pre-party was pretty great. Let's run down some of the most memorable moments:

- Lisa tells recovering alcoholic Daysy to take a shot with them. Oops!
- Joanna and Marta fight about Romain
- Lenny reveals he skipped college and went straight to med school
- Lisa introduces us to her signature drink, the chambull -- Redbull and champagne. (This should be the official drink of the Housewives.)
- Lisa questions Adriana when she says Elsa looks good for her age.

Hold up. No smack talk about Elsa! It of course wasn't meant in a mean way, but be kind to Miami's favorite mama!

Prediction: Raging hangovers. Sushi before a big night of drinking is never a good idea. It's basically the surefire way to a terrible morning. Not that I know from experience or anything...We finally end up at Mynt, where three dramas all taking place simultaneously.

But before that we learn that Joanna once got in trouble at Mynt for throwing tampons. Huh? Also watching Lea and Elaine try and find the entrance was probably one of the highlights of the episode.

Back to the drama. First off we have the Marysol/Elaine situation. When confronted about the red carpet incident, Marysol thinks Elaine must be confusing it with a different event. It sounds like there's a lot more to this story that we don't know (and a lot of bad blood brewing between Lea and Marysol).

Prediction: This seems like a slow boil argument, and I think the temperature just got turned up...

Next, Adriana went into flirt mode with Romain. Not the best idea when his fiancee is there (and pretty vodka soaked at this point). Was it too far? Was it all in good fun? Who can say. Luckily they were both kind of saved by drama three...
Joanna returns in full on breakdown mode. It seemed as if everyone was confused as to whether she was mad at Romain (for the Adriana flirting?) or something else altogether. After a some tears and shouting we learn that it's because Marta's DJ ex is at the club. Ohhh!

So Joanna let's out a stream of tears (she's got one of those lilty crying voices) and Romain just packs it in and goes home. Probably not how he expected to spend his big night.

And then Marta, who earlier bemoaned the fact that Joanna doesn't defend her, blows up at Joanna for, well, defending her. Yes, she was mad about her causing a big scene, but still, it's quite a tangled web between these three.


Prediction: Marta's got to move out or Romain and Joanna may need to reevaluate their relationship. Something's going to give here.Next week prepare for what will probably be one of the more memorable fights of the season -- Adriana and Karent's tweet battle.
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Lisa's Vegas Regret

Lisa reflects on the wild bachelorette party and updates us on her status with Joanna.

Hi everyone! As I'm sure you may know, this week was a bit rough for me. I think with everything I had going on in my personal life at this time, it all caught up to me in Vegas. To start, I was disappointed that Lenny could not attend Joanna and Romain's wedding with me. I of course realize he had surgeries already booked and he could not make any changes.

At the time of the trip, I was very excited to go and celebrate with Joanna at the bachelorette party in Vegas with the rest of the girls. I haven't been on a girls’ trip in ages and looked forward to having fun and letting loose. Unfortunately, I had way too much to drink. Watching the end of this episode had me cringing with embarrassment. I definitely did not realize how much I had to drink and wish I was more self-conscious of my behavior.

Watching the footage on the way back to the hotel, Joanna clearly started the argument with her constant jabs and low blows. Joanna then decided to insult me further by saying I married for money, said I shop 24/7, and called me a stripper. It of course set me off. I then used words I wish I didn't in the heat of the moment. I realize now after watching the whole season, Joanna has consistently thrown jabs my way. I'm not even sure why she asked me to be in her wedding or why I accepted. For the entire season, I had been nothing but nice to her, never spoke behind her back, and thought we had a friendship of some kind. She was very quick to kick me while I was down on that bus in Vegas and showed her true colors.

Although Joanna and I are not friends any longer, her wedding was absolutely beautiful. I wish both her and Romain and long and happy marriage. Unfortunately, I do not believe I should have been a part of it.

 



I regret going off on Alexia. She was in her own way trying to calm me down and fix the situation. I did not realize it at the time, but Alexia is a great person. This episode was definitely not my best moment on TV. I want to apologize to my husband, friends, family and fans for the way I acted during Vegas. I am human and we all make mistakes. I love to have fun, but not in that way.

At the rehearsal dinner, I revealed to Lea that Lenny and I had chosen a surrogate. I have decided to take a different approach to the way I look at using a surrogate. I realize I am very blessed to have this as an option. We are blessed to have this type of technology in today's world that helps create miracles. My wish is that every family can afford to do this and I hope one day IVF treatments become more affordable. Hopefully one day IVF and surrogacy could be available through care programs to the ones who truly want and need it. I will have more of an update for you after the reunion airs about what is going on with our baby situation.As of today, I have a more active role at my husband's office. We are about to launch our skin care line, Skinfinity, which will be available to buy in his office and online at www.skinfinitybeauty.com in a couple of weeks. We are also working on finally tearing down our Star Island home to build the home of our dreams that we designed together.

Over the weekend, we had our 7th annual Halloween Ball to benefit the Make A Wish Foundation where we raised over $50,000. This year’s party was our best yet and I would love to share it with you in the link below! I hope everyone had a safe Halloween!

http://worldredeye.com/2013/11/hochsteins-7th-annual-halloween-ball/
https://www.dylanrives.com/hhb.html
http://tasharazziphotography.com/lisahochstein-halloweenball-makeawish/

 

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Thank you for all your support throughout this season and I look forward to remaining in contact with all of you.

Follow me on Twitter: LisaHochstein
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Lisasworld.com (coming soon)
Skinfinitybeauty.com (launching soon)
LHochsteinMD.com